We just got thru putting a joint birthday party with another set of parents at my Son's School. They provided their house as the venue and we decided to split the food duties. To make a long story short, the other parent said the money wasn't an issue on their end and that they would pay whatever it cost (we were going to split the cost). Hiring the entertainment was our duty (we got a discounted rate). We booked the two pieces of entertainment and they were happy with what we got for the party. When it came down to getting the check from them for their portion of the bill, they balked and started questioning why this cost what it cost and started negotiating with us. Because we didn't want to cause an ugly scene we finally settled on a figure, but we came out on the losing end. How do I resolve this issue diplomatically with them? Should we just suck it up or should we talk to them about it again? Please advise how to do this without angering anyone. These two kids are real close. HELP!. By the way, it wasn't about the money it was the fact that they even questioned our integrity about the bill, that was the problem. They indicated to us that they wanted nothing but the best for their child and they would pay whatever.
Oh, party went great! Everyone loved the food, entertainment and atmosphere. 1 little boy said it was the best party he had ever been at! My son and his friend had a great time (they are very close) The other set of parents were happy too, but the Dad was very assertive and so to keep the peace my husband let it go. After that little incident then the other parents carried on as if nothing happened, but my husband feels like a chump and is questioning if he should have been more assertive in insisting on an even split.
It's easy to say cost is no obstacle but then when the bill is in front of you to realize you don't have enough to cover it. I would take this as a learning lesson to either not do this again, or set a budget before hand with the money being placed by both of you up front.
I agree with another post that you just let this go and have learned for next time (don't do this again). The important thing is the party was great fun for all and the kids are still friends without the parents getting in the way.
The other dad is the chump and it's too bad.
I would say your husband took the high road!
I think your husband is far from a chump! He should be proud that he didn't let money interfere with what was best for the kids! By keeping things in perspective, you were able to have a great party and by "settling", you were able to avoid any drama for them! You have great memories of the day, the kids and guests had a blast and that is what is important! Yes, it is unfortunate that the other father didn't handle things at the end as well as you did, but that is something he will have to deal with. Don't let money blur this! It is a lesson learned and now you can avoid this dilemna in the future, but you certainly didn't come out on the "losing end". I think you came out on top!!
As hard as it may be, let it go, lesson learned, never do that again. I hate it when that happens. It's almost as if you have to get things in writing these days because people are so flaky! Hope the kiddie had fun because that was the main point!
lesson learned...keep the friendship...but resolve to never share things like that again with them or anyone.....
Sounds like a case for the Honerable Judge Judy!
Just kidding! I would let it go but I wouldn't do a joint party like that again without putting in writing what everyone is to pay. Live and learn.
I would drop it, but also sort of drop the family. Be nice, but don't do
anything with them.
You will get over it and it is not worth a fight.
Better not to share again.
Something similar happened between my matron of honor and bridesmaid. It's been over five years and the matron of honor is still annoyed that the other person didn't pay half. And the bridesmaid was upset that the other person spent so much more than she could afford. And here's me in the middle (representing your child), wishing that these people were smart enough to work things out in advance.
You and/or your husband should have spoken up before accepting money from them. More to the point, even if someone says, "money's no object," an upper limit should be agreed upon. Since that didn't happen and you've accepted the money, I think you should learn from this and then let it go.
Live and Learn. This is the danger when things are not clearly spelled out beforehand! Unless there is an outrageous amount of money involved, or you really spent beyond your means, let it go. If the friendship is worth keeping, you have learned something important about all those involved. If it really is a discrepancy you cannot live with, then make a list: this is what you paid for this is what I paid for - this is the total and this is half BUT be sure to include the cleaning up of their home. They provided the house, and even if they cleaned it themselves, it is a cost factor.
Saying you can split the cost is because the cost you are thinking your splitting is on what you yourself would have gotten. It could be that you went a little higher end than they can afford. I was in a wedding once. The 3 girls were splitting the cost of the shower. When we were in the planning stages I was in college. We discussed what we were doing etc. My part was supposed to be $50 plus the dress which was over $100 (this was 30 years ago) I am at school and get a call from the other bridesmaids. wanting to know when I am sending my $100 for my part of the shower and then also can I please send my part of the gift another $30. I didn't have it. They were outraged. But it was triple the amount we had talked about. Sometimes things just get to be a little more than all parties agree to or think they are going to be. Did you discuss with her the amounts you were spending as it went along or did you just decide on all food and present her a bill? just things to think about for next time.
Tough lesson learned. I would suck it up this time to keep the peace and NEVER do anything like this with them again!!! Good luck!!!
