JFF Mommy Poll: Would You Let Your 4 Year Old Say This Word?

totally with Jen B here...I have no problem with it. It is definitely in my boy's vocabulary of gross 'boy talk' and I that is just what I chalk it up to. I trust them to know when NOT to say it as well.

Here is another thing-for all of the moms who think their kids are not using this kind of language I am willing ot bet that they are-just not in front of them. Many times I have heard the children of 'strict' moms behave and speak worse than the kids of normal moms. I always have a laugh thinking how apalled these moms would be if they could see their perfect little darlings the way that I do.

No, I think it sound crass. But, we do use "poopy" instead, and I'm trying to teach my 5 yr old to say "fecal matter," LOL--because, a) it isn't as fun to say, since other kids don't really know what it is, and b) I think it sounds so funny to hear this little boy using such an advanced term.

Nope. Never.

I'm sorry, but it's gross even when an adult says it. I also gag on the word puke.

I was about 13 years old until I realized there was another F-word that didn't stand for gas.

We just weren't allowed to say certain things.

My parents and family raised my sister and me to act like ladies. Some words were just off limits.

I'm 49 and still don't say certain words. They are pretty vulgar, when you think about it.

Just my opinion.

I'd prefer not, but it's not the end of the world. I'd just remind him to use nice words and not "bathroom" words, as my 5 year old calls words like turd.

yes because I would be laughing too hard to say much. I would tell him not to say it at school or church.

BTW, what is an acceptable word for a 5 yr old to describe feces? Most are allowed to say Poop. Is that any better, really?

Well, that depends.... probably not.... especially if they were using it in a derogatory way, like "Don't be a turd!"

However, if they were referring to the dog turd in the front yard, well, that is probably legitimate..... although I would rather they say something about the dog poop.....

We have freedom of speech in our house. She knows which words are appropriate in which settings and I've not yet (she's 10) ever had to correct her language. The word turd would not be a big deal, at all.

wow, I am so amazed at the differences in homes sometimes, not meant in a bad way at all, I just would have never even batted an eye at any child especially a boy using the word turd. The only place I never allow that talk is at the table bc well, people are eating, but I don't find anything wrong with that word, I am so surprised some people do, very enlightening!

um, no. Why would a 4 yr old be saying turd?

I don't think its a big deal

If my child was referring to it as something he or she left in the toilet or the dog left in the yard, then I wouldn't take issue with it, but if he was calling someone that or using it as a putdown then I would discourage it.
HTH,
A.

Yes, but that's an "at home word only".

We would not allow that word in our house!

Children (or anyone for that matter) shouldn't say words like that. It's just plain tacky!

LOL I hate that word and never use it!
We use plenty of other words that I'm sure some people would take offense to, but for whatever reason (maybe because neither my husband or I never use it?) that word has never even come up :-)
Here's my rule of thumb: don't let anything come out of YOUR mouth that you are not willing to allow your kids to repeat.
BTW, my kids are teenagers now, and they DO swear of course, but not around us or other adult relatives, they know it's disrespectful.
But like I said, I just don't like the word "turd" so that's a matter of personal taste!

It's a real word describing a bodily waste product. Of course.

No because it is crude.

No. I don't like that word and would rather my kids call things like they are then use that.

I have no problem with turd.

No. It's not a word that I would allow at any age.

No, I would not. And I also don't understand the whole, "Don't make words off limits or they'll use them every time they want to get a rise out of you." I don't know about other parents but my husband and I always follow through with unpleasant consequences if our children say or do anything they know is off limits. So it's not an issue at our house. Now it sounds like you and your husband have different opinion on appropriate language, so it's something you'll need to continue to discuss and hopefully come to a compromise you can both live with. In a situation like this, we would most likely agree to have the child NOT use the word since one of us is very much against it and feels it is wrong and the other parent would have no good reason he SHOULD use that word. So it makes since for the spouse that is OK with the word should give in, in my opinion. Good luck on your decision. :)

Nope. I was pretty strict with my kid's language. My rule of thumb is that a word that I would be embarrassed they used in front of my MIL! If it is, then it is not appropriate! They are now teenagers and there are still words that they don't use. My daughter really notices bad language in others and where she does use it occassionally, really appreciates that language is a tool and it has a right place and right time.

We have no plans to censor anything our child may say. In our thinking there are no "bad" words or "words" - just words.

I'm amazed at how many people want to control the very words that come out of their kids' mouthes. Wow.

Edited to Add: Words only have power if you let them. If other people choose to get offended by my word choice or my child's word choice, when our words aren't intended to offend, then that's their problem.

A 4 year old can't distinguish when that word is and isn't appropriate. However, disciplining for it will just give the word power - your child will realize he or she can get a rise out of you for saying it. So if you can avoid your child hearing it, the best thing to do is ignore it. Eventually they'll move on.

When speaking of his poop or someone else?

I would not be bothered by this if used appropriately, as in describing a BM that needed to be described.

But say calling someone a Turd, then No

Nope. Not at any age. There are much better and more appropriate words to use to describe whatever the subject might be.

Yes ..... turd is fine. He is four and heard it somewhere and apparently he might think it sounds funny. And it is funny. Unless he is calling you a turd. I might still think its funny. lol

I agree with Malia - it completely depends on the context!

yep as long as he is not calling me or hubby a turd!

Only at home, and not if it became so habitual that they would use it in social situations. My kids say poop and toot, but only at home when I allow it, and not at dinner table or when being polite. They know it's not nice. We haven't needed to add turd to menu...:)

To the person who says a 4 year old can't distinguish between when and when not to use certain words, mine definitely can! I'm in the camp of it being a gross word I'd rather replace, but I wouldn't care if she said it, better than saying sh*t! Lol ;)

Nah...I wouldn't...I don't like it.

Here's the thing... do either of YOU use it?
If you do, then I don't see any reason you should object to your 4 year old using it. If you don't, then where did he learn it? And no, I would not allow it.
My kids didn't even KNOW that word at age 4--they didn't go to daycare, I was a SAHM from their birth. And me and my husband have never used it. I didn't grow up hearing it in my home.

Son started 3 day a week preschool when he was 4, and maybe he heard it amongst some of his friends there, I don't know. But he never used it that "I" heard. And if I had, I would have told him that I didn't think it was appropriate. What context he would use it that he didn't already know the proper and correct terms, without resorting to crass nicknaming? None.
At 4, he said "poop".
These days (at 14) he pretty much avoids any reason to discuss anything that term could be associated with.... at least around me and his dad. ;)

If he is calling what floats in the toilet by this, that's technically what it is. But if you prefer "poop" or something else, call it what you call it. No need to correct him.

If he's using the word to call others a name, that has to stop.

No, just because I've always hated that word. :/

I was raised to call things by their proper name but there isn't much that is proper about this term, is there? I think if using it in a descriptive way 'no' but otherwise it's up to you. I personally think poop sounds bad. Just not a nice way of putting it in my opinion, not a bad word really. If it was my small child I would tell them to use another term. You and your husband will have to decide this one.

I think it's crass and would discourage my child from using it.

No, I would not let my young children use that word.

If he's referring to his own poop, then turd is fine.
He is using it at home. He is then not using it to degrade another person.

Who taught him that word?
With young kids, you gotta be careful what words come out of our mouths.

Turd can be "rude" if used outside the home and at, someone.
But if at home and he is simply pointing to his poop, then turd is not a big deal. It is, a turd.

At that age, my kids knew what rude words were, or not.
And what words NOT to use, out and about nor at someone.

A turd is a turd and poop is a turd.
Poop is acceptable and turd is ruder, and most certainly it is not to be used to describe someone.