JFF- Large Familes

One of my best friends (she's about 55) is one of 14. She always loved her big family but when she got married, she had 1 son and that was it. (She was widowed young - her husband died of cancer).
Her parents kept having kids over a long period of time. The older ones were moved out by the time the younger ones came along. Her father was a farmer and he had the income to support a large family.

Dear HB

I hesitate to 'tread this water'...as I have been back looking for answers from others...so here goes!

I LOVE that I have alot of kids...

I think...there are many lessons learned more 'easily' when you are a part of a 'bigger' family...

Examples:...sharing...compassion...cooperation...

This is NOT to say these lessons cannot be...or are NOT learned with fewer 'kinder'...just that...in a bigger family...they are often an inherent way of life...

I have a LOT of 'funny stories/situations'...as do my 'fewer childrened' friends...and we SHARE!

WE (ex and I) were trying to 'round off' our family with # 6...and it was twins...one with profound medical issues. We were in a financial situation where all would have been well...but sorry to say, the stresses from this proved too much for my ex...(and clearly our marriage)...

I would NOT do it any other way...

I love my kids as a group...and as the individuals they are becoming...

IMO...what ever # of children one is blessed with IS the # you are to have....

I have many funny stories (as ALL parents of ANY # of kids have)...I may have more of them...due to sheer # of kids...that is all...

Hope this helps...
michele/cat

*** ETA...as per 'bee'...

All of my children have college accounts...the eldest graduates in may...

I do not own a farm...and my children are not pets...

SHAME on bee...

I have 7 children. I am one of 7 as well. Our oldest is 15 and our youngest is 7 months. I know, a huge span. But our story is that we got pregnant with our oldest while I was in school and decided that it was better if I finished before we had more. Then after I finished and we bought our first house our second was born. We could have stopped there and had the perfect family as we had one boy and one girl. But we decided that one more would be fun. After our 3rd was born we only had 6 months before I became pregnant again (a whoops, but a blessing). The ones after that just felt right and we are glad that they are here. Our latest addition was planned as my husband wanted to try for just one more boy---we got him. We do get lots of looks when we got out in public, but we love each and every one of them. We are thankful that my husband has a job and that he is able to support us so that I may stay at home with them. If you have any other specific questions you can personal message me and I would be happy to answer them. And the next question that we usually get.....are you finished? As to that question, I honestly can't answer that. I don't know if we are finished completely, for now yes. If we were blessed to have another child, we would love them just like all the rest.
J.---SAHM of 7

I think its great that people want kiddos....but, dont hate me when I say....STOP!!!! The Earth CANNOT tolerate more!!!! WE, as a society, cannot keep hurting the planet. We, as Americans, think its our "right" to procreate...it is true..but at what cost? Take The Duggars for instance, they are giving, religious and kind...but what does that have to do with the enviroment? Every person that thrives on this planet will use; gas, water,oxygen,electricity,roads,crops,.....shouldnt we all think about these things? The days of having 12 kids to run a farm are over....
and PS...I persoanally think that if you cant provide a college tuition...dont have 'em...If you can? Thats great. Children ARE NOT pets....they are people....

An interisting thing about being a Christian, trusting God, and having more babies is that things are provided for and we always end up w/a roof over our heads ect. We only have 3 so far. We will "keep going" because we don't believe in BC in any form...but God might decide to have us stop as He did w/friends of mine. Maybe at kid 5, 7, or 12. Who knows? But we keep trusting in Him and He keeps giving us kids and providing more as the need grows. :)

I come from a family of 7 and we are about to have #6(3 more days! hooray!!) We grew up in a 3 bedroom house so it was a little crowded! but I had a great experience growing up! there was always someone to play with or do something with. We went camping a lot and had a garden and learned how to sew- everything. My dad also would take one of us to breakfast once a month so we got one on one time with our parents also. My parent did not save for college for us, but we all went- scholarships mainly- and working.
I love all my kiddos! Each of them are so unique and add so much to our family! They are great kids also and we always get a lot of compliments on how well behaved they are(and they are for the most part!) They always have someone to play with and get along pretty well. It is fun watching them all sit down together and play games. I love seeing them all sitting around their daddy while they are watching a movie. I believe my children are more of a help to this world then they would ever be a hinderence(sp?) or inconvenience. There has always been a cry of "over population" of the world- but this world was made to be inhabited.
It does get a little noisy at home and can get very hectic sometimes, but it is always a lot of fun! I wouldn't trade any of them for the world and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!
`C.

I would love a big family. We currently have 3 but def want more. My husband comes from a fam of 2 brothers and a sis and I only have 1 brother. What drives me batty is that his family is always telling us - No more! I feel like it is our decision to decide what our family will be. I disagree with Bees Mom. If I can provide for my family and I am not relying on anyone else who has the right to tell me how many kids our family will have.

Good question.

We have 6 children. We believe that the Lord gives children as blessings, so we want as many blessings as He is willing to give us. We do not attempt to stop them from coming, just as we wouldn't attempt to stop monetary gifts from coming. Only, with children, the gift is eternal and way more valuable than any money would be. I feel like we don't have a very big family at all. To us, it is normal, not overwhelming. We love our family! Our youngest is almost 5, so we don't really know if we will actually get to have more children. But, we are content with our 6, either way. Yes, home life is a lot of fun. We are always busy together, working, playing, living. We don't spend much time on things like tv. Also, about the overpopulation myth, it's all hype. There is a movie called Demographic Winter. I highly recommend that if anyone is concerned about population growth, that you watch this. It is not a Christian movie, in case you are wondering. It shows how we are actually in a birth dearth, and the consequences are grave. Here is the link to the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG2IZEzUmA0
I hope you don't give up a desire to have more children just because of financial reasons. There are many ways around that hurdle! You don't have to have brand new everything, you don't have to buy convenience foods/fast foods/restraurant meals. You can live more simply with the incredible blessing of children. And, I just think about our grandchildren and onward! What an amazing gift to give our children a legacy of a large family! And, if they all have 6 children, as an average, I will have 36 grandchildren! Wow! And, so it continues. The strength in numbers, the closeness they can share. We not only have our last name in common, we have a common purpose and a common goal. We are a team, we live with vision and purpose. Love it!

I have 5 children. I had two children, got a tubal ligation, reversed it, then had 3 more. My children's ages are 17, 15, 10, 7, and 10 months. ;) because I have high risk pregnancies and a platelet incompatibility, we didn't intend on having a lot. I just reacted to every form of birth control and hubby wouldn't do the big V. I would have gladly had 5-6 regardless of my issues but my husband was worried about everything. But we ended up with 5 anyway and boy am I glad. What a blessing they all are. I homeschool the older ones. My heart is full!

I love hearing these stories! I have technically given birth to 5, but two of them were a set of twins for someone else (I was a gestational carrier). So that leaves me with my 3 boys and my step-daughter. I would love to have more but we can't afford it. I'm one of 5, so the chaos of a large family feel comfortable to me.

I am a mother of a 9 yr. old boy, 7 yr. old boy, (had 2 miscarriages in btwn births 2 and 3) 4 yr. old girl, 3 yr. old boy, and due in July with another girl. I come from a family of 5, my husband of 11 years from a family of 2, he and his sister, they are 4 years apart.

I have always wanted to have 6 - seemed to be the magic number for me. I am torn as at the age of 35 (turning 36 in April) to keep going. I don't feel it is my place to "play GOD" and really struggle with it, but really love my kids and want to make a difference in the world. My husband wanted to stop at 4 and now the pressure is to stop at 5 - I think due to his parents thinking that we don't "need" anymore. I am very open to foster care/adoption but feel that I don't want to close the door and that God sees my heart and will make the decision regardless.

I love having a large family and do think it very comical to watch people's reaction to us having a "large" family. My kids are very well behaved and we get lots of compliments of how the conduct themselves in public. We have been very blessed that I am able to stay at home with them. I watch 5 other children throughout the week in addition to mine and find it to be great in loving on the other children and making a difference in their lives. My husband's sister has 2 children, boy and girl. They are well off and pass their clothes down to mine (as they have children older than mine). This is way helpful. I am able to bargain shop for food and find that with using coupons and watching sales it cost me less than it probably cost for someone with 2 children that doesn't use cost effective methods for groceries.

As far as chores, everyone pitches in and it makes them not only responsible (I use the marble system) but it also teaches them about team work and how valuable they are to our family. They are very compassionate about helping each other out also. Don't get me wrong - they do fight, argue, etc. but at the end of the day - its great to see them want to be together. My older 2 boys have bunk beds but they prefer to sleep together for security and they will chat up a storm.

It is very chaotic at times but overall it is great to know that you have someone on your side that knows you inside and out and loves you regardless. We keep activities to a minimum and actually don't have 2 kids in one sport at a time so that they can have the support of the rest of the family. It also eliminates the cost for us all at one time.

Good luck in your endeavor!

I have two, with one on the way. That will be it for us. But, I wanted to share with you my perspective from a family of six kids. I was second oldest, and we are all pretty much two years apart. I don't know how my parents did it - I think of them all the time when trying to manage two and almost three. But, that helps me get through some issues that I have, and also the fact that my parents are so experienced when i need help. The youngest is now 21, and they've made it through raising their kids and enjoy the grandkids. Having 5 siblings made us have our own little group of friends (each other) and we were very close, I remember getting into trouble together :-) and playing for hours and hours together. It was rewarding to my parents and it is to us, becuase we are all fairly close. I don't know what kept my parents going, or how they decided to finally stop at 6. My mom was a stay at home mom, and my dad worked an average job, but 20, even 10 years ago, the standards weren't so high. Lots of hand me downs though and two bathrooms! And we all had a job at 16, did good in school (was expected of us) and played sports. I'm sure I could go on and on, but that's a brief on being a child of a large family.

We have 5 children in our house.. ages 10, 7, 6, 3, and 2. After the first two, we planned to stop. I got pregnant with #3 when #2 was 7 months old. Then we moved a few times and we weren't really ready to decide to have permanent surgery. So along came #4. When #4 was 6 months old, I became pregnant with #5. Of the 5 kiddos, only one was planned. Two were conceived while still on birth control!
I LOVE my big family. I do think the kids are thankful to have each other also. They are very close. They, of course, fight amongst each other sometimes, but I think, like another poster has said, they have had to learn to share and compromise faster than some of their classmates have.
And shame on you Bee for your judgment and unkind words about my family! I would never be so rude as to call your children "animals". While I can appreciate you have a different opinion, yours is not necessarily correct for everyone. And perhaps the problem with taking care of our Earth has more to do with the negativity that is put out into it, as opposed to my loving and kind children.
Our decision to have a large family is not religious but I believe that I am leaving the world a better place because of these wonderful souls that can be leaders to care for the Universe.
If there is something more specific you were looking for, send me a pm. I am happy to share!

I would LOVE to have more children. I love my babies, and always wanted 8 children. And I had two. Then I became more educated about what we are doing to this world, and I thought, how selfish am I that I would put more people on this already over populated earth? So I stopped.

Yes, I know everyone with more children will be offended and tell me how wrong and judgmental I am, (but then, they are just showing how judgmental THEY are, when they do!)

I can list many reasons that the earth cannot keep supporting so many people, but I know that most of the people will not care to hear them. They will only espouse their religion and/or outrage that I would suggest we should have any kind of responsibility to control the population.

I just pray that we will have this beautiful earth long enough for all of their children to save it!