Its's Me with the 17 Month Old Daughter and the Belittling Mother and Husband!

Unforunately we can't control others (although it would be nice...) but we can control how we react to them. You Dad sounds like he knows your Mom and what she's like. Spend the time with your Dad and your daughter. He'll see what he already knows - you are a good mother. Then your Mom's calls and attempts to get to you though him won't work. Focus on your daughter and your family as hard as it is, because you know they are ones that deserve your attention and love. Don't waste it on those who don't deserve it.

I know how you feel. But sometimes the best thing to do is leave it alone. She is your mother, who is trying everything to be a part of your life and your daughters. But she isn't good for you or her. Sometimes we have to do what is best for us. If your dad knows you and your mom than he'll know the truth of it. Being anger and feeling it and saying your anger is a good sigh. I have been where you are. Keep up the good work.

God Bless You and Prayers,
T.

you have to make her! simply by choosing not to let her have any effect over you and your life she will have to stop. ask your dad not to tell you when she calls. change your numbers. She doesn't have to have your numbers. there is no reason for her to.

you have totaly control over your life. and NO control over her. you have to change what you are doing that is allowing her to still effect you!

I would tell her point blank that there is no room in your life for her until she learns to treat you with respect as a person and as a mother. Change your number if you have to.

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As long as you continue to let her upset you, she wins. Just cut her off. She can't hurt you if don't let her. She can tell anyone anything she wants, but if it's not true that will prove out. Your dad obviously knows her, so when she tells him BS, he knows it's BS. Give him the credit he deserves.
Ever heard sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me? It's true. Just ignore her and whatever she does. It's a reaction she's wanting, and you are giving it to her.

Mothers sometime you just have to say thank you for giving birth to me and leave it at that. I have been away from my mother and my relationships have been healthier and great because of that. I have a very special bond with my father also. I know it will hurt but I say cut your mom out of your life and a restraining order is how you have to do it then do it. Also protect your family. YOUR FAMILY!!!! You sound like a wonderful mother. Good Luck

Restraining order - go for it and stick to it yourself. Totally cutting of communication from your Mom - you are getting better, but you still have 3rd party contact and that needs to stop too. Anytime ANYONE wants to mention your mother or what she said or anything about her - just cut them off and say you don't want to know, she knows nothing about your current situation and she has nothing relevant to say. It might do you good to consider her dead as far as you are concerned. Toxic people really are poison. To save yourself you have to totally flush them completely from your life or they become a cancer that eats away at you.

Your mom seems to put a lot of effort into making you miserable. But you seem to put just as much, if not more effort into letting it get to you. The fact that you pick up the phone and give her something else to stew about or use against you just validates her craziness about your craziness.
Some things are best left alone. If she calls your Dad and tries to rope him in, which it sounds like he won't, then let her. You know who you are and where you stand with your Dad...so why try to fight something you already won? After a while (and it may take a while) she will see she's not getting to you and get bored with it. But for now - she knows if she picks on you enough, you'll strike back. Then...the craziness goes back to square one. Anyway - you have a baby to worry about. I know you wouldn't want your baby's first memories of you to be miserable and fighting a woman, whom your child will probably never have a relationship with! Let it go...

I am so sorry about what you are going through. First off, let me say that the family troubles you are having are beyond any advice that any of us mommas can give. Go straight to your therapist. Immediately! He/she is the one that will help you the most. What bothers me, though, is you say you have cut her off/broke ties with her in one sentence, then the next you talk about how you picked up the phone and called her. That is part of her manipulation. She got your dad involved, because she knew he would contact you, and then you would contact her. Just delete her from your life once and for all. You don't need the added stress of her! Good luck.

Hi A.! Tell her that your lies mean nothing to you and that she can't get to you anymore......and then don't call her again.

Our first instinct is to protect ourselves and defend our character against lies. It's exhausting work! The best thing is to NOT respond in any way to her lies. It's like.....if you plant a seed and WATER it, it grows into a plant, but if you plant a seed and don't water it.....it will die.
Her lies are seeds and if you don't "water" them by reacting to her, they will not take root.

Be confident that you are a good mom, that you are getting advice and care from a doctor, therapist and pastor. Sometimes we believe lies about ourselves, but THROW them out.

Let her go on an all out lying spree! People will see through her deception.

Bless you, girl!