It's Easier Not to Be There

Daddy gets home every night (M-F) at @ 6p and we all attack him! :) My husband doesn't really require a down time when he gets home, he has said more than once that seeing us IS his down time! So sweet that Man of mine!

Seriously, we all have missed him so much we are all on him like glue...he usually has 1 kid in each arm and 1 kid on his leg...and then it's a non-stop gab fest all the way through dinner!

After dinner is over, I usually clean up then hit the shower.

Going on 15+ years together and gosh, we miss Daddy while he is gone!

~I do miss him but we text each other all through the day so I usually let the kids get him right when he comes home! Even the dog needs some love from him when he gets home! I think he LOVES feeling missed!

Our night sound a lot like "inmy30'salready??" Nights. Daddy leaves for work at 6am then comes home in the evenings. Gets home and its hugs and kisses all around. We both usually had crazy days so were just so happy to see each other at the end of the day.
He gets comfy clothes on and plays with our son for awhile and then we cook dinner and eat. Then whoever's bath time for son is does that while the other cleans up and gets story time ready. We put our son to bed and after that we relax and watch a movie together or whatever we want. We share responsibility of everything and then we BOTH get a break. It works for us.

When he comes home, he gets greeted by the family - kid, me, dogs etc then he decides how he wants to play it, sometimes he is hungry and needs a snack or dinner right away - sometimes he does get home before us, some days he wants a nap. I let him decide what he needs and give it to him.

That (a VERY long time ago) used to be a standard in our marriage.

Whomever was working DIDN'T COME STRAIGHT HOME. They came near home, 5 minutes MAX (because stopping too far away, and the commute kills the break and they "need" another one), and stopped at a coffee shop (it's Seattle, there are coffee shops across the street from each other). Order a drink, go to the bathroom, wash face, change into "real" clothes, take a 20-30 minute break (reading/ laptop/ phone, whatever) come home and be ready to be "on". Then the person who was home got a 20-30 minute break.

That all changed when my son was 2 and we got married. DB started leaving at 5am and coming home at 10pm. Then sleeping until whenever (10-noon) and coming home at 4am. He went weeks without ever seeing our son, and I only got a break if I hired one.

We were GOOD when we were each taking care of each other, and making sure that the other got a break to "come home from work"... whether it was working outside the home, or in it.

The BIG trick, is that whomever DOESN'T have the kids needs to take their break first ELSEWHERE. Otherwise.. they who have the child is breathing down their neck desperate for even 5 minutes, and NO ONE gets a real break / everyone is cranky.

Daddy leaves for work at 4 pm and gets home at 3:30 every morning. Remember that not everyone is as lucky as you are with those work hours.

Yah, its called needing a break... from Hubby. Even if they have been out at work all day.
Once they come home, they are like the "other child", huh?

Me: I have dinner already made when Hubby comes home. Then the man routine of unwinding like you mentioned your Husband does. And him wondering why the house is so busy and me busy and not even looking like a model on the runway at the same time.
W.H.a.t.e.v.e.r.
Then, once he does come home and the kids call me or ask me for things in rapid fire dialogue... I say to them "Ask Daddy... he's home now. Give Mommy a break." *and I wink at them*. And they do. They go running to Daddy!

Tip For You: if you are out before he comes home.... leave a "note" on the kitchen counter or bathroom mirror (whichever he will see first), and note down what HE needs to do. While you are not home.
ie: warm up dinner. Set the table. Wash the dishes. etc.

My husband is a business owner so his hours are flexible, although he does work long hours on some days. But me and the kids are his priority. He always has time for them and will come in, change his clothes and go play with them. He'll ride bikes, throw the ball, get down on the floor and play monster trucks, play some wii, whatever. But all our kids are older too, 15, 12 and 9. They all are ready for bed and go in their rooms at 8pm every night. They don't have to sleep, but have to stay in there for quiet time before they sleep. That is when mine and hubbys time starts. We get caught up on our day, plan for the weekend and get caught up on tv and reading, paperwork, whatever needs to be done. I love our schedule, it has really worked out well for us.

lol if i waited for hubby to come home it would be 10 pm sometimes, if you have a guy with a good job and consistent hours who is home before bedtime count yourself lucky. It is hard i know, But do what is best for your DD,if keeping her out is what you need to do ok, but i would probably just pop in a movie or take my down time at nap time. so that i was ready to deal with what ever hubby needed as well when he walked in the door. as long as it's reasonable.

Right now he's working overtime because he takes the hours whenever they come up or we couldn't get by. So when he comes home now kiddo is in bed asleep and I'm usually halfway there myself in bed with a book.

On non overnight days, he comes home and will help me tackle the kitchen because I hate doing the dishes so they tend to pile up a little bit, but with both of us in there we knock it out super fast. Then I cook dinner in my nice clean kitchen while daddy and daughter watching some silly cartoon on TV they both like. After that it's sort of free-for-all until bedtime at 8:30.

My husband works crazy, weird hours and sometimes very long days. He has a 30-35 minute commute that he uses to decompress. He takes his "me" time after the boys go to bed, as do I. We both work full time and the best part of our day is picking them up from Chapel and/or getting home to see them.

my boys were so excited to see daddy, there was just no way to keep 'em off him! and fortunately he loved it so much he was fine with it.
i think everyone needs a break after a long day's work, though. it's considerate of you to let him have that unwind time, but even if you're home, you can get a routine going where you take turns. maybe he gets the shower time when he gets home, and you get a half hour in the bedroom with the door shut after dinner while he and DD do the dishes?
khairete
S.

I can't say I was every really in that situation. I always preferred to go right home after work, not stay out with the kid/kids, when I had a baby, a toddler, a preschooler and a baby/toddler. I got home from work first, excited to spend time with the kids and wanting to get started on dinner. It wasn't really an option or desirable to stay out. I didn't feel I needed a break at the end of the day when I hadn't seen the kids. Or do you mean that you're a SAHM on the go with your child during the day? I don't have much experience there. I had a period of maybe 2-3 years where I did some work from home during the day and taught a couple of evening a week, when the kids were 5 and 1, 6 and 2, 7 and 3. I wasn't out and about when he'd get home at 6:30ish. We were home, making dinner, doing homework, etc. NOw, when we first started this routine, he thought he could come home, go upstairs and read the newspaper or his email til dinner was ready. He was quickly informed that I was not handling making dinner, watching/entertaining and active toddler and supervising homework with an ADHD kid, he had to choose one of these duties. He chose the toddler. We didn't do breaks right after work.