Issues with Neighbor over Sound

You are being way too nice & she is taking advantage of you. If it were me I would be stomping around long ago. She should have taken noise into consideration when she started looking into anything that wasn't a single family home. You could already get the police involved for harassment. All she would need is one warning. I would talk to her landlord. But I would also tell her you are no longer living your lives the way she wants. If she has a problem with the noise that is what it is HER PROBLEM. Tell her she needs to solve it on her own. Block her number & tell her you will be getting a restraining order to keep her away if need be. I would be to the point of trying to get her to move out if I were you.

Okay, I so wasn't going to respond because it is so similar to what all the other woman have said, but I can't help it. This woman is out of control, and you have done more than you need to in this situation. I say take all the advice of the other women. First of all, really talk to her land lord, there really is no reason you should have to be dealing with all of this. Also tell her flat out, you have gone above and beyond what is necessary in this situation. You have been polite, courteous, put in extra time expense. She knew the risk of renting. The world cannot revolve around her child and she has got to learn that. And all the other woman are right, she is bordering on harassing, and I would let her know, via, letter, phone in person what not. Tell her any further issues can be taken up with her landlord, and make sure her land lord knows everything you have done. Truly her land lord shouldn't even be allowing all of this nonsense. Let your kids be kids and deal with it, you are going to send yourself into early labor with this stress. Her Karma will catch up with her. Hey print all these responses out and let her read how obnoxious she is. I wouldn't put up with that. I thought my nieghbors kids knocking were bad enough!

First of all, let me just say that you are so nice to try to appease this woman! I don't think I could have handled it as long as you have nor done as much as you have to help her!
I agree with the other mothers that you have to be able to live your life.
You have got to take your home and family back! I think that either you need to go to her home and sit down with her or call her or even write the letter that was suggested. You need to explain your feelings on the matter - just like you have done here - and tell her that you feel like you have done everything and MORE then should be expected to help her in her situation. She needs to be willing to do more on her end to help with the sound issues (I can't believe you even bought her a sound barrier machine - you are so nice!). You have to tell her that you have done everything you can and that you cannot continue to walk on egg shells for her. You need to be able to live the way you want to - with a happy healthy family without worrying about noise all the time - especially since you are in your dream home right now! I think that it is to the point now that if she is not willing to make changes on her end or if she can't just live with it, then she will have to move.
I also suggest talking with the landlord and letting them know all that you have done and that you just can't keep living that way and then stop taking the tenants calls - after telling her that you are not willing to rearrange your whole life for her anymore - and if she comes over you should just refer her to her landlord.
I know that it is hard since you have to live near this person and see them from time to time. I am not a person that likes conflict of any kind at all! It always makes me sick to my stomach, but you have got to be able to put your family first! Kids should never be yelled at when they are excited when daddy comes home! That is not fair!
You have done enough! It is her turn to take action - more than just annoying you with phone calls all the time.
Good luck to you with this problem and with the twins!

OH MY GOSH! I feel so bad for you. This lady is being completely unreasonable. It's life, she better get used to it. Your babies are going to cry during the night and your'e not going to be able to control them. Your poor little kids, they need to be able to play. You may have to talk to her and tell her that you've tried to do all that you can but you can't live like that anymore. I would tell her that you will try to be as courteous as you can but that your kids need to be able to play and have fun and you're not going to make them feel like they live in a Museum anymore. Good Luck! I hope everything works out for you.

Sounds to me like you have bent over backwards for this lady and nothing is going to satisfy her. I would tell the lady that you have tried to keep things in check for her but your kids need to have a normal life, and since nothing seems to please her that you have tried you are going back to the way things were. It sounds to me like she is a taker and is not willing to give back.

Have you spoken with the owner of the unit?

I would say or write a letter, something like:

I'm very sorry that you are and your family are so sensitive to sounds. A certain amount of noise is normal. Even if you lived in a house there would be no guarantee you would not be bothered by sounds, like dogs and lawnmowers and playing children.

As for me and my family, we are happy to try to be extra quiet during your son's nap time. Outside of that, we need to be ourselves and not feel like we have to tiptoe around our house. Trying to tiptoe around has not seemed to help with your noise sensitivity, and it has made us feel uptight and contributed to an unpleasant atmosphere in our home. Because my husband gets home late from work, it is essential that he can play with the children when he gets home. On this issue we will need to come up with a compromise (something like we can have 30 minutes of play time when dad gets home, even though we would like to have an hour, and you can move quiet time and bed time forward 1/2 hour). If this type of compromise can't make you happy, there may not be any solution which is acceptable to you and us.

We hope you try to find ways to make the noise around you more bearable (like a fan, or earplugs, or anxiety medicaton, that one you might not want to mention to her, but it really could help her).

The only other option outside of that is for her to seek a different living situation if she can't handle normal day to day noises.

If she continues to come and complain, I would be respectful but firm... good luck to you!

This sounds like Tenant's problem, not yours. Or maybe Landlord's. Being considerate of others' needs makes communities work. But it goes both ways.

This woman is being extremely demanding, and not considering the needs of your family. According to your story, she does not take the simple measures available to her to solve the problem for herself, but expects you and your family do all the changing.

Sorry: she is renting, you own. Let her know what REASONABLE compromises you are willing to make to help her family be more comfortable, but let her know that you expect her to be reasonable as well. You have already spent money to get a white noise maker to assist with HER problem. Tell her you will no longer be able to conform to her schedule (and put a block on your telephone so you won't receive her complaining calls).

You could remind her of the white noise options available to her. You can also refer her to the internet where she can find a wealth of soundproofing options that may improve her situation. She could take the matter up with her landlord and ask that these measures be taken to make the apartment better suited to her needs. If she and her landlord cannot find a solution, perhaps she can look for a rental in an environment that is a better match for her.

I know someone will probably make some suggestion that will solve the problem in a much more patient and loving way. I encourage you to be a bigger person and go with that solution, should it be posted... :P

Tell her you have 5 children and can not be expected to keep them all quiet all of the time. You own your home, she rents, if she doesn't like the noise level MOVE!!! As long as it's all daytime noise I don't think she really has a complaint shes just being unreasonable. Or just post her number here and we could all give her a call telling her our opinions. lol Best of luck to you and congrats on the babies:)

Have you talked to the neighbor (her landlord) about the tenant? Was the tenant promised an ultra quiet apartment? In all honesty, I think you have done more than enough to make this tenant happy. I've lived in apartments before and part of apartment living is learning to deal with the sounds of neighbors and, as long as it's not excessive (such as late-night parties or abusive fights where the cops should be called) then I think people should be allowed to live their lives the way they want to in their own place (which includes being in the living room when awake!).

Do you have a HOA? Are there any rules about people renting out rooms or apartments? You might check into that. It may be a violation and the tenant may need to move out.

It's obvious that this tenant is very sensitive to sound, but you have to be able to live your life! I say you need to talk to your neighbor/her landlord and explain what you've done to make things easier and it just isn't enough for the tenant and that you are going to now live your lives in your home with your children and the tenant will need to live with it or move out. Nothing you are doing is enough to get the police involved, so let the tenant call them if she feels the need, but you are not breaking any laws. What is she going to do when you have two babies at home crying? You own, she rents. If she's that unhappy with neighbors, then she needs to find a place that fits her needs better.

As for dealing with the neighbor, I would have her landlord explain to the tenant that you can no longer expect your family to be ultra quiet just to appease her and NOT call you anymore and if she continues, you might want to look into harrassment charges. Turn your ringer off is you know she'll be calling or get caller ID so you know not to answer.

The way I see it, there isn't anymore you can do. So go on and enjoy your home with your children and husband. Good luck with the delivery of the twins!

Oh my! I read this and couldn't but help feeling very frustrated for you. I've lived in apartments and sound is always an issue. As for advice, I would say quit giving into this ladies every wish. You have a family. Sometimes families are noisy. Oh well! If this woman chooses to live in a place where neighbors are on the other side of a wall she just needs to deal with it. And so does her little boy. We shared a home with a couple with children. Our kids just had to learn to sleep through some noise. Or we'd put on some music to drown out noises. As far as I'm concerned you are the one who should be complaining to the owner of the home about her tenant. My former landlady let everyone know that they shouldn't even bother complaining about any noise before 9pm. Thats just how apartment living is. Next time that lady calls to complain about footsteps patiently tell her that she's just going to have to deal with it and to quit calling about every little noise. If she continues to harass you, unplug the phone, or tell her you will take it up with her landlord. Don't let this silly woman with her need for extreme quiet ruin the fun you and your family should be having. A. S.

You have been WAAAAYYYYY too nice and you have WAY too much on your plate to be dealing with this lady and her kid. You own your home, and you pay the bills so your family can live comfortably. Tell her landlord that she is out of control and THEY need to deal with this person. If she doesn't like it tell her to find a new place to live. I have lived in apartments for YEARS. I lived in one WITH A BABY. Babies will sleep through anything, Including a party at midnight.

Write her a nice letter (so she can't interrupt) and make suggestions like putting a box fan in the kid's room, that's what I still do! Tell her as much as you'd like to be helpful to others, your family comes first and give her the example of your husband when he comes home. Tell her it is up to her to make things as good as possible for her children, as it is yours for your own children. Then, call the phone company and ask how to have her phone number blocked so you will not receive her phone calls. If after this she starts coming over and ringing the door bell repeatedly or something, ask for a policeman to come out and report the situation to him as it could be a form of 'pestering' (for lack of better word) that they could talk to her about. This is just what came to mind. I wish you the best of luck.
K.

Sounds like the tenant needs to go. Check to see if they are allowed to have tenants. The townhouse is probably not zoned for it.

N., stop dealing with her. The noise ordinance doesn't deal with "walking/running" noises of children in their own home, especially during daytime hours. It is not your responsibility to be quiet during certain hours of the day...it is considerate to some extent, but not so that it disrupts your household. You OWN the home, she does not. If it truly is too loud for her, she can deal with it or move. But as long as you don't have a dog that barks at all hours, play the stereo so that other neighbors complain, or make LOUD noises after 10pm and before 6am, you're fine. Don't sweat it. She has no right to come into your home, in a manner of speaking, and tell you what you can and cannot do during certain hours. Explain to her that you have tried to accommodate her wishes, but this has gotten to be ridiculous. especially now that you have several very young children. She needs to take it up with her landlord what she will do next, because it isn't your problem.