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So DH has a very nice motorcycle and we've been having issues over it since he purchased it from his mother. You see, his father bought the motorcycle a few months before his sudden and untimely death in the winter of 2008. My MIL asked DH if he wanted to buy it from her and DH said yes without consulting me. I let it go because it was his Dad's, even though we were dirt poor and I thought it was strange that his mom wanted him to buy it because FIL's car and motorcycle loans were all forgiven after his death. But whatever, it was his Dad's bike and this way DH could have something of his Dad's. Getting past the fact that we were struggling financially (I had been laid off, he was making just shy of 30K a year and we had no health insurance), was another story. He started paying his mom $50 a month to pay off the 6K she wanted for it (I think it was worth 7.5K). $50 a month is A LOT when you're living on pennies. We agreed that he needed to sell his other two older motorcycles (yes he had 2) and use the money to pay for part of it and see if his mom would agree to take the money and let us continue the montly payments when we were a little better off financially. She did grudgingly.
Now we are better off financially - better salary, great health insurance, etc - but still not exactly in a place for $50 a month is easy. AND we really need to replace at least one of our very old and dying cars (which I have no idea how we're going to do). We are coming up to the point where we need to start paying her again. She graciously offered to let DH work some of it off on her farm - which is great! But DH hasn't gone out there yet. I'm all for that, we'll see if he does it.
That's the background and although my issue in question strays a little from the financial end, I think it will help give you moms a good idea of where I'm coming from. So I am mad today (LOL) just like I am when it starts to get hot and sunny outside because my husband will not let me park my car in the garage!!! Because his stupid motorcycle is in there and it's a one car garage.
SO my older than heck Isuzu Rodeo sits on our two-car asphalt plot next to the alley and BAKES. It doesn't have window tinting and even though I try to cover the girl's two carseats with white blankets, it is HOT AS HELL. Last summer I gave him a very heated explanation as to WHY it is far more important that our little children don't suffer in a hot car than for his silly motorcycle to be inside, but he won't listen.
He talked a little about tinting the windows, but I doubt he will because he wants to buy a new tinted minivan this fall. And anyway, how much will that really help when the raised large asphalt plot that the car sits on is never shaded and sits between two white garages that reflect the light back perfectly on the car.
So it's blazing hot in the car today, and I moved it to the road in front of our house where it's shaded, but I can't leave it there for longer than 4 hours per city parking rules. This works for planned trips, but I'm caught in a terrible situation when I have to take the girls somewhere unexpectedly and the car is over 100 degrees.
I'm at my WIT'S END. I think my husband is being a selfish jerk. How do you ladies feel about this and what can I do?
Thanks for all the advice ladies. This is about more than the garage issue for sure. But the garage issue is what was making me so mad this morning when I wanted to take the little ones to a free music thing. I needed to vent and feel much better :) There are some really great tips that I will take with me, so thanks again for taking the time to listen and offer your advice.
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Sweetie, if you don't know how to move the bike yourself, find some nice guy in the neighborhood to move it out of the way and then park the car in the garage. He's being ridiculous and will get the message.
My husband installed a swing set in the only sunny spot in our yard, where my garden needed to go. We argued and argued about until one day, he was out for a few hours and I went outside and MOVED the entire swing set myself, re-anchored the thing thing and laid out my garden. Problem solved.
He also bought either a motorcycle or dirtbike without telling me, so I listed it for sale on craigslist and sat back and laughed as people started calling his cell phone to inquire about the bike for sale. Again, message received.
Just move the bike or have someone roll it out of the way for you. Don't move it if you don't know how to (you have to be straddling the bike to move it, you can't walk it from the side) as they are heavy and if you drop it, you can seriously injure yourself or get trapped underneath it.
Can YOU move the motorcycle out of the garage - park it alongside and cover it? Get a friend/neighbor to help you if you aren't able to do it yourself? Or park the bike along the front wall of the garage (sideways, so both wheels are 6" from the front wall, if that makes sense) and pull your car in.
Edit to add: Regarding him being afraid you'll hit it: my dad hung a tennis ball from the ceiling of our garage so mom would know that when the windshield touched the dangling tennis ball, she'd pulled in far enough that the garage door wouldn't close on the bumper. How 'bout a dangling tennis ball that parks you six inches from the motorcycle that will fit if the shelving is removed (or raised). Could you also get bike-hooks to hang your bicycles from the wall to make a little more parking space inside?
Sometimes the best way to get your spouse to see your side of an issue is to make it so HE has to deal with the problem. For instance: I can complain about the dishwasher not working correctly and that I have to hand-wash many dishes even after it runs. Husband blows off my complaints until that day when he has to do the dishes. Once he has to deal with it, that is when the toolbox is pulled out and he fixes the dishwasher... this is just an example. Anyway, if you can find a way for him to have to use your car, after its been sitting in the hot sun for hours, and he has to take the kids and worry about the hot car seats, I would not be surprised if he works out a solution immediately afterward. If you are in charge of the bills, I would let him know you will not be allotting money toward it and he can either sell it, pick up a side job, go work off the debt at mom's house, or whatever, but you will no longer be worrying about the payment yourself. Put the responsibility on him; if he really wants to keep the motorcycle, he will come up with a solution. I know that has been the case in my marriage (if hubby wants an X-box, and I don't, then he is the one selling his stuff on e-bay and giving plasma at the blood bank to pay for it... if I want a vacation but it isn't in the budget, then hubby says "fine, but you have to figure out a way to pay for it without putting the family out" and then I do! :) Good luck
I think JB has the rigth answer - get someone to help you move it to where it needs to be. Is he afraid someone is going to steal it? Then make sure it gets moved to a place that is secure (inside a fenced in area?) Did he eventually sell the 2 other motorcycles?
I'm assuming your car doesn't have A/C - which is why it's such an issue - we don't have a garage so my car is outside all the time (except at work where we have a parking garage). My brother doesn't even have a driveway (very old house near a village so the original owner walked I guess?) so he's always parked in the street.
I think dads/husbands are generally more selfish than moms/wives - it's jsut the nature of the beast. Even one of our pastors has said that to me "I don't know why but we men tend to be pretty selfish... it's something I'm constantly battling". Clearly the current message is not penetrating - so you have to ratchet it up a notch! good luck mama!
There are millions of people who don't have garages and they survive their cars parked out in the driveway just fine. When my kids were little I'd cover over the car seats to keep them from gettin too hot. Before we'd go somewhere I'd go out and open all the car doors to vent out the heat.
In case you haven't figured it out your complaint isn't about the garage at all. It's about your hubby doing things without consulting you. He purchased something that was unneeded when you didn't have the money and now you are being inconvenienced by it. You'd be better off dealing with the real problem instead of nitpicking at the small stuff.
Your husband is being a selfish jerk, I personally would move the motorcycle put a tarp over it and park the car in the garage. To be perfectly honest with you my husband has not always been the most fantastic guy but I can say the kids and I have usually come first, My car is always kept up and in the garage. Honestly I would tell him either he moves it or you craigslist it and sell it.
Call around and find some prices for carports or some sort of shade device, whether it is one of those roll out awnings of some sort. Those babies deserve to not have burned hineys. Otherwise just leave the kids for him to watch and go run your errands, when he asks why you tell him their car-seats are too hot and will put burns on them.
My husband's garage is full of his toys and motorcycle, so I too can not park there, but I figure he needs a space that is his, and that is it. I just roll down the windows and let my car air out before we take off. It really is not that big of deal.
I would keep a motorcycle in a garage before a car only because they are easier to steal or get damaged so I don't think that is unreasonable. Still they make those tent thingys you could put the car under. I know they are around $100 but I would think that is cheaper than tinting the windows and more effective.
I am just wondering why you thought your father in laws death forgave his debts? The only loan that is forgive by death is student loans.
Wait a minute, how long is the ruddy car? You should be able to fit both in a one car garage. Heck you can fit one of those monsters with a side car in front of my SUV and still get in the door.
