Issue with Not Napping at daycare--Realistic Expectations?

I was your son many moons ago. I came from a place that didn't do
Naps in kindergarten/first grade. The nuns kept us busy. My family
Moved back to texas. Here I was expected to take a half hour nap
In both grades. I spent my entire kindergarten year being fussed at
And paddled EVERY day for not taking naps. My first grade teacher gave me small
Jobs-cleaning out erasers, counting pencils etc. This was at ages 6 and 7.I know
Plenty of people will disagree with me, but I think expecting a three
Year old to take a two hour nap is unrealistic. My four kids never did at that
Age. I don't understand taking the books away if they kept him
Entertained and still on the mat?
Me.

When I was a child, my daycare enforced napping, and I would not nap. Finally, they put me in a separate room with a mattress, books, etc, and let me entertain myself (I spent most of the time reading - I was an early reader - or jumping up and down on the mattress. As someone who did not nap much at that age (my mother even consulted a doctor about it-but he said it was normal for some kids not to nap much--even today, I do not nap in the daytime unless I am utterly exhausted), I think it's too bad this place will not allow your son to use quiet time in a way that benefits him. If he can read or quietly play, what's the problem? Personally, I would look for another place. good luck!

There is no way that you are going to get a 3yr old to lay down that long & NOT nap. I just started daycare with my 3yr old & what we do is have him lay there for 20 mins & then he can go be a teachers helper during the rest of the nap time. My son gave up naps at 2 & has just started Daycare, so needless to say the first few times of getting him down to nap was ruff, so now they call it quite time & tell him he can get up in 20mins. I know I kinda repeated that, but he is getting better & even has brought a pillow with him today, It was so cute!! There is noway I would make my child lay there for 2 hours let alone an hour. GL

My daughter has just started dropping naps at daycare (and home). When she does not nap, the teacher will usually cuddle with her, read a book and involve her during other (quiet) activities. I have been told that if that is not an option, she might be placed with an older group for that time, so she can play.
In my opinion it is unreasonable to expect that a 3 year old (or anyone for that matter) just stays on their mat and stares at the ceiling for 2 hours.
Speak to the teacher and director again and explore options for you child. When it comes to daycare, you are a customer and have options!

According to TX State Minimum standards, if a child isn't napping a teacher is required to give them an alternative activity, (I'm not sure exactly how it's worded, but I know it's in there). Books, puzzles, playdoh, coloring, etc. are all good quiet activities. The teacher and director have unrealistic expectations if they expect a 3 year old to lay still and quiet for 2 hours!!! I would talk to the director about this since you've already talked to the teacher. Especially since this wasn't a problem in his last classroom.

(I worked in daycare for many years before staying at home with my kids. We always gave the kids a quiet ativity if they didn't take a nap.)

EDIT: I looked up the Minimum Standards for you. Here's what it says:

"Naptimes, or a period of rest for those children too old to nap, during which children should be supervised according to §###-###-#### of this title (relating to “What does Licensing mean by “supervise children at all times”?)....
...Naps and rest time for school age children will vary with each child’s individual needs. Children in full-day care benefit from resting or napping during their long day. A rest period may be reading books, listening to soft music or books on tape.
See §§###-###-####-###-###-#### for additional minimum standards on naptime."

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/CHILD_CARE/Child_Care_Standar...

From this website, you can click on the state minimum standards for childcare centers, which is where I found the above statement. Hope that helps!

In Minnesota and North Dakota I know that the state regulations say that a child under 5 should be given the opportunity to rest/nap in a quiet environment. It also states that if the child is not sleeping after 30 minutes of rest, then he/she should be provided quiet activities to do.

Even if your state does not have specific regulations on nap/rest time, those teachers should not be making him sit there for 2 hours. I would check with your director and then with the state child care regulations if you need more help.

K.,
I would just ask the teacher to talk to the director first and give your request. If she doesn't then you need to talk to the director and explain the salutation. If the teacher doesn't like the repetitive foot taping then she needs to give him something to do...:) You are not being unrealistic.
Good luck,
E.

No, he isn't causing any problems. 2 hours is a long time to expect a 3 year old to lay still, even for those that do take naps. I would question the book issue and ask that he be allowed to play quietly with books or blocks or something at his mat during nap time. I would speak to the director if this is a problem.

If it is a problem, go school shopping, and tell them that too!

I suppose, putting him to bed not as early at night would help, b/c 11 hours is a lot of sleep for a child who is supposed to be napping.

No, a young child cannot just stay still as a statue for TWO HOURS doing nothing.
To expect that, is too much. They should have a "quiet" area where the child can go, or an alternative "quiet" area, for those children that do not or cannot fall asleep.

As an example: a friend's child was at a preschool... a rigid highly structured preschool. For naps, if the child could not fall asleep, they EXPECTED the child to stay on the mat no matter what and not make any noise etc, and stay still. And like you, they would get notes home about their child not complying with naps. What they did, was switch schools. Their child would come home all stressed/upset about having to be UNmoving during nap time, even though she would honestly try, to "behave." But she was only a 3 year old, like your child. They felt that that school was just NOT in line with their thoughts of age-appropriateness. It had nothing to do with her child being "naughty" or willful... she just could not fall asleep. All innocent.

So, yes, just because it is a Preschool... it does not mean that they are experts, nor of their handling of children.

All the best,
Susan

Been there, done that and so wish I would have been a better advocate for my child!!! Agree with others...not only is it unrealistic for a child to stay on a nap mat quietly for 2 hours it is developmentally inappropriate and sad to say the majority of those working in early childhood have no knowledge of what is developmentally appropriate or have lost that knowledge!!!! The expectations for behavior along the lines of naptimes (and other things) honestly in my experience have come down to inexperienced teachers payed way to little, yet given way too much responsibilty/power and entitlement about our sweet little ones in their care and they (teachers and directors) have growing unmet needs / frustrations / stresses there are coming out in the classroom and learning/care facilities...and it is getting quite scary folks! We need better supervisiion, better standards, and need lower expectation for kids and higher expectations for the adults...not the other way around. Thanks for the opportunity to vent!(Another 2 cents - its not enough to "love children.")

I am a child care provider and I've had several 3 and 4 year olds who didn't nap at home but would nap here. The main reason is we play outside most of the morning.
Its very difficult for a center to meet the wishes of every parent. My suggestion to you is approach it from the business side, you are paying them money for a service that you are now questioning. At some point you made an agreement, signed a contract, I'm sure they have written policies for such things. If you can't find the answer yourself set up an appointment to talk to the director and get it straight from her. Don't stop by her office while picking your child up, she'll be caught off guard during her busiest time of day and you will be dissatisfied with the results. Once you have clarified their policies, make an informed decision about where you want your son to be. Don't try to make a center conform to your individual desires, they have possibly hundreds of parents with their own ideas of how their child should spend his day, you will just be frustrated in the long run. Instead find a childcare situation that fits you and your son. Life is too short and there are too many other opportunities for you and your son to be unhappy with his care.

I am glad I am not the only one out there that feels 2 hour naps are ridiculous. My daughter is almost five and she has a hard time sitting still. Fortunately, she can take her leapster or play with her toys quietly-although it still bothers me that she has to sit quietly in a dark room for 2 hours! My daughter hasn't napped since she was 18 months old!