So, I went into the preschool this morning and spoke to the director, long story short, she said my daughter could read books during nap time (we agreed to this during enrollment too), and she even apologized that she didn't let the teacher know about this yesterday. Also we discussed the blanket over the head issue, she stated "that's illegal" and claimed they don't do that, but I explained what my daughter said about feeling scared under her dark blanket for such a long time. We just agreed that there would be quiet time with books, so I then take DD to her class room. The director came into the class room after I did, saying she was going to talk to the teacher and let her know my daughter could have books (I had also just mentioned to the teacher that we agreed my daughter would have quiet time w/ books) and said she just spoke to the other teacher, right before coming in, and that teacher admitted to putting the blankets on the kids heads, and the director told her she wasn't allowed to do that. That teacher was 5 feet from us when she was talking to me, so I felt this was true. So, I left feeling my voice got heard, and today would be better. well, they didn't put the blanket on her head, but they didn't let her have books either. The teacher this morning (after I talked to the director, and the director supposedly talked to her too) said, "Oh sure that's fine, I'll do that" (and didn't). Then when I picked her up, her teacher says "She slept a little while, I guess she must have been tired or something".
I didn't think about it until later, that it seems like they have to prove to me that they can get my kid to sleep or something. It was just the way she said that to me. Anyway, now of course, DD is in her bed and can't sleep, and this is the reason why she doesn't nap anymore (over a year now). Arrr. I know most of the places make them nap, but what, does she get a 11pm bedtime? I'm so frustrated. I think I have 2 issues here, first the way this school is doing business; why did they say they were going to do something, and then not follow through? Especially on the very first day?! 2nd issue; my child is getting sleep in the day that ruins her night time routine. WHAT DO I DO???
I do understand, that teachers use nap time for breaks and other work, and children who do not nap interfere with that. But, I also have a job that I need to put in a couple of hours each night, after my DD goes to sleep, so I can make extra money to pay bills. I desperately need that time. From my understanding, there are other kids there that do not nap, at parent's request. So, I was told by the director, but, as it seems, she may not be telling me the truth, fantastic...Well, DD will definitely be tired tomorrow since, she just fell asleep. They win, and I don't get to work at night. Great.. I'm so frustrated to have to find another place (but I will!), I just dropped a lot of money here!
New school. I wouldn't want to stay at this school, after all the headaches you've experienced from the very beginning.
I have to say you need to change you kids school. My daughter was not a nap person. I had to change her school and i put her in a school that she could stay in school until nap time and then I picked her up. I got into a good one and the few times I let her stay she was allowed to sit and color while they slept.
As a preschool teacher I will tell you from the teacher stand point...when it is nap time most of the children would "voice" not wanting to take naps, but "most" of them do need them! I am with them in the afternoons and I can tell you I notice a difference when for one reason or another one does not nap.
The issue begins when One child doesn't have to nap and gets to read books, then you have a class of nappers who all want to read books.
I use nap time, to write my take home daily notes, to prepare lesson plans and sometimes to prep a project for us. I work in a Preschool and yet I have work I take home for my class and I do not get paid for it ( as a preschool teacher I am making minimum wage!) So as you can see from teachers perspective WHY naptime is important.
From a parents perspective,,,,I TOTALLY get you. My own little guy did not nap and was going to bed at a decent hour, now he naps and yes like you I am fighting bedtime once again...its no fun.
Advice....Ask the teacher if your daughter FIRST lays quietly for 20 minutes if she can Then have books or color quietly ( This is what I do for my class)
Also if this continues to be an issue I would either ask the director if your daughter could read in the office during naptime or find a new center that had different nap time policies.
Sadly and I do not say this to be mean or snarky and I have worked for 3 different Centers....Directors will say lots of things...but they do not always enforce them, a lot is saying things to pleasing the parent, but they also have to keep staff happy because SOMEONE has to be in the classroom.
I completely second what Betsy C. said! I make the kids lay down for a least a little while so that the nappers can head to sleep and then if they don't sleep, they can look at books.
Naptime is the ONLY time that I have during the day to get things ready for craft time, snack, etc. Most of the time it's the only time that I have to eat lunch as well.
If they will not respect your rights and wishes as a parent I would find a new preschool. I worked in preschools for years. Yes, we had nap time,but if a child did not want to sleep or if the parents did not want them to sleep we would not make them sleep. We allowed them to sit quietly and look at books or play with "quiet" toys - puzzles and that sort of thing. Their lack of respect is completely unacceptable, imo. Perhaps try speaking to them again and let them know that if they cannot do this you will switch schools. Hope everything works out for you. :)
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Ask the director "Where do Suzy, Johnny, and the other two non-nappers spend nap-time? I'd like my daughter to join them". If they spend it in another classroom with older kids, great (as long as they are appropriately staffed for the younger age group). She says they sit in her office and color, even better. Then call 20 minutes into naptime and ask the director to hand the phone to your daughter.
Or take a long lunch break and drop in unannounced.
Or: look up the licensor of the preschool and call or email explaining this problem. I did this once when my son was an infant in daycare and there were issues that the director couldn't seem to solve.
It sounds like the Director is handling what you requested and it sounds like the blanket over the head thing is not happening anymore but as far as your daughter napping, if she is tired, she will fall asleep. If she is not tired, she will not fall asleep. I work at a preschool and asking us to not let their children nap is making it hard on the teachers and hard on the other students who see the one child not napping. I think that if your daughter sleeps, that meant she was tired, if she does not, hopefully they will give her a book to look at while having quiet time. I don't think you can complain that your daughter fell asleep. There are just certain things that need to be followed at a preschool, daycare, or school b/c there are other kids to consider and they all need to follow the same rules.
I feel for you. Some kids just don't want to nap. Not ALL kids that age sleep 12-13 hours a day - they just don't, and that figure is a huge generalization. My DD dropped her nap at age 3 & never made up for the 2 hours at night, giving her about a 10 hour sleep time. She could go to bed at 10 still get up at 6. She is just not a huge sleeper.
It sounds like you are trying to give them the benefit of the doubt & working with them, but the teacher doesn't really seem to be paying attention to your requests. The problem is that the director is telling you what you want to hear, but the teachers are the one with your child all day & they are the ones that need to be following your wishes. The fact that they aren't following a) the law and b) your personal requests leaves me feeling that maybe the teacher is a problem.
Honestly, I'd give it a little more time, but if they continue to not work with you, then I'd be looking for another childcare, personally.
Does not sound like a good fit for you.
Find a new place.
She may have fallen alseep before the teacher had time to get all the other kids to sleep then give her books.
When a child sees another child reading instead of trying to go to sleep they will want books to. Then no one goes to sleep. The rules state that if a child does not fall asleep after trying THEN they can have something quiet to do. The teacher has several other children she is trying to get laid down and to sleep, that is her job. She should give your child books after the other children are down. She has to allow your child to fall asleep if possible.
Your child is required to sleep if she falls asleep. They cannot keep her up just because you want her to stay awake. If she falls asleep they must let her sleep. Once they have the other children asleep if she is awake then they can give her quiet things to do.
If you don't like the states rules perhaps you can become a stay at home mom so she can stay awake. I understand exactly what you are going through. I am a firm believer that kids need naps until they are done with at least part of Kindergarten.
My 4 yr. old stopped napping around 3 yr. of age too. If he crashes at all during the day he is often up until after midnight, 2am is usually when he keels over and is able to sleep. I understand what you are going through. Child care centers can be closed by their licensing workers if the get caught not doing what the state regulations require. They require children under 6 to have naps/rest time.
If she falls asleep waiting for a book to read then she is tired enough to have a nap. They should not give her a book or any other item until the other children who are going down for a nap are taken care of.
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As for moving her to another classroom at a pre-school? They should have every child in that building on a cot at nap time and there should not be any classrooms with kids up. It is a state requirement, not a choice.
you find someplace else.
TAKE HER OUT OF THERE. This place is terrible. I'm sorry, I have a completely different experience with my daughter's schools. 100% not like that!!! Trust your instincts.
I don't know if this would work for you, but when my son was in kindergarten I sewed a pocket onto his nap mat(towel) and we tucked a book from home into it every day.
Find another school. We went to Ivy league Academy and loved it from the begining. After lunch some kids didnt nap and were put in another room for quiet play time.
I have never heard of the blanket over the head thing and that would make me MAD!
All the signals are going off in my head, and even though the overall director was highly cooperative, she is not in the room with your child every day. Consider: if this is what you KNOW about, what else is going on that you do not know? The teacher needs to change her behavior.
This teacher claims to know better, does not listen, and is putting the kids down for a nap so that SHE can have a break. My daughter napped until she was five, but my son didn't after two. Kids are different, and that this teacher is ignoring your instruction is not okay. Might there be a way for your daughter to be moved to another classroom during naptime, so that she can read and play while the other kids are napping?
I didn't read the first one so I don't have anything to say about the blanket over the head.
BUT, the director should not have told you she'd let your daughter read books while all the other kids napped. It's not fair to let one kid read while the others have to nap...kids don't like to nap.
About bedtime, YOU'RE THE MOM! If you want her to go to bed at 8, put her to bed at 8, don't let her stay up. Kids shouldn't be up at 11, period!
We had exactly the same issues last year when I put my DD in to preschool. I even got to the point of asking them to take her into a different class as they used to make them lay on the mats in the room. She would lay there for sometimes up to 2 hours doing absolutely nothing at all!! After much deliberation and talking to the director we realised that no compromise would be made as they where insistant on naps! so we took her out and enrolled her in a different school where they don't insist on napping but had the facility if she needed to.
I would serioulsy consider taking her out, you are paying them good money to take care of your DD and listen to your needs!
