Your husband is abusing you. He wants you to service him, but he's not trying to please you sexually or any other way. He's too tired, he's not in the mood, but it's up to you to do something for him. That's what prostitutes do - they service the customer in exchange for money. In your case, your husband seems to feel that it's up to you to please him in exchange for a roof over your head.
A loving relationship involves some negotiation about doing things that please one without upsetting or grossing out the other. Some women don't like oral sex because they feel it's less intimate (no kissing, no face-to-face) and some don't like the ejaculation part. Other women do enjoy it but that's usually because their husbands are also doing things to give their wives pleasure. The problem in your marriage is that you are being forced to do what you don't like, and you're being abused mentally and emotionally if you don't comply. It would be no different if you were having vaginal sex when you didn't want to - do you see what I mean? It's not that it's oral sex per se - it's that you don't like it, and that you aren't getting anything in return. Your husband is not interest in your pleasure, your feelings, your satisfaction - THAT is your problem.
Get counseling. If he'll go, great. If not, go by yourself and try to figure out ways to get what you need or to figure out why you are with someone who treats you badly. Also address whether this is a new problem (and what triggered it) or if it's an indication of how he really is all the time.