Is This Normal.... - Osgood,IN

The same thing happend to me. I think its because for me I didn't fell like I looked good, I just did mot fell sexy. SO I just worked on myself and it got better.

yes, it is normal. For starters you are probably exhausted. It is a normal evolution. Sit down with your husband and discuss it. PLAN IT! For example if you decide Saturday Night is the night.......then starting first thing in the morning be nicer to each other and touch each other casually with the promise of later. That really helps!

I'm sorry to say spontaneity often flies out the window when hectic exhausting lives take over. Sleep becomes the priority. Don't forget you can plan your rendezvous any time of the day that best works. Possibly you can leave the baby with a friend on Thursdays.......so that you can be together early.....before you are too tire. Plan it together. Just the planning is an intimate thing that will bring you together.

One more thing.........Quality, not quantity!

It happens, happened to me and mine is about to turn 4. A lot of things can contribute to the loss. Hormone changes due to pregnancy and birth, loss of self image attractiveness due to baby weight, the daily grind of parenthood just making it take last place in everything that needs to be done. For me it's the daily grind, by the time I'm not needed by my daughter I'm just too tired and sometimes sex just feels like work or I just don't feel like giving any more to anyone.

A key is to talk to your spouse and try to find out why things have cooled for you. If you want more and if you still enjoy then maybe you need to make the effort to start things. There's lots of things out there to spice the bedroom up. Try to make a effort to reconnect at least once a week, it doesn't have to be full out sex. Lay in bed, talk, pet, kiss, be together as a couple. I think of it this way, if something really drastic happened and you two couldn't have sex anymore what would you do? Would you still have the connection? I think of sex as a lovely perk to marriage, it's not the only thing that keeps us together.

Good Luck!

S. this is soooooooooo normal. Even though you had a baby a year ago, it was some year!! A new life, constant care, your soul reason for getting up every few hours and constant joy. But it also takes the wind out of your sails. It's exhausting the first few years, as well as your hormones are still all over the place and feeling sexual as often as you did stops, for awhile. You say you enjoy it when you do have it with your hubs and he seems very understanding. Don't be so hard on yourself. If it becomes a great concern for you then make an effort to throw an extra day of loving in there once and a while. As long as you keep communication open with your husband about what you both need and that it isn't him when you aren't into having sex, you'll be fine. I had this problem, most of my friends did and a lot of mommas who will answer this post will commiserate. Enjoy your baby and your awesome hubs!

Totally normal. My hubby and I were active in the bedroom for a long time..until the baby was born. We have been married for 10 years before we had our first. Our "rule" is at least once a week but since the baby has come (18 months ago) things get soo hectic (and I am tired) that we are good for every other week...sometimes we will sneak 2 in a weekend but I think you are normal. If you are having any other issue of depression I would see a doc about post partum. Breastfeeding really adds to not wanting to have s#x.
good luck

It's so normal, even if you hadn't had a baby. In the first portion of a new relationship sexual chemistry is always a little higher. Everything is new, and exciting and you're just discovering each other. As time passes, while you still love and find your spouse attractive life starts to creep in. Jobs, friends, children all add to your plate and sometimes sex 2-5 a day just doesn't fit. Now add to that your body has been through a huge change, you've had a baby, and that takes awhile to get back from. You also have a different new focus and it all starts to make you feel spread a little thin.

Please don't worry, trust your husband, if he says he understands - let him understand. The more you stress and worry the more likely you are to start him thinking something is wrong with him for not wanting it more. Don't let your fears create a problem where it doesn't sound like there is one. Sex isn't something that needs to be a certain number of times a week, month or year. The part that counts is that when it does happen it's because you love each other, you want each other and you BOTH want to be connected. Then let those moments carry you on to the next.

Are you breastfeeding? Many women loose interested while breastfeeding hormones are present in their bodies. Most report more interest after the child weans. But really, if you are talking about it and he's ok with it, I think your relationship will be fine! It's the people who let it slide and don't talk about it and then one person ends up resenting the other, that have relationship trouble. Keep talking about it, tell him what he might be able to do to get you more interested. For me, I'm MUCH more apt to want to put out the energy (ha...no pun intended) if he's gone out of his way to do something for me - flowers for no reason, a chore I'd usually do that I didn't even have to ask him to do, whatever shows he's put effort into thinking about what *I* might need help without having to ask him.
I'm sure you'll be fine:)

And PLEASE don't let anyone tell you it's "not normal". There is absolutely NO SUCH THING as "normal" when it comes to sex frequency. Normal is whatever you make it at this point in your life while you deal with everything else you have to do. Normal is what works for you and your relationship, not what other women or men tell you it should be. I know women who had sex every day and their marriages fell apart, I know a woman who is basically in a sexless relationship, but her relationship is great! You have to loot at what works for YOU, not other people. It's really great that you have a husband who is willing to just go along with how you're feeling about it right now. That means you have a good relationship that isn't based on sex!
Also, be aware that hormonal birth control can lessen sexual desire. It always did for me. I went to charting my fertility cycles because I was tired of always feeling hormonal and not wanting sex when I was on any type of hormonal birth control.

Hello S.!
I have two answers for you - yes, unfortunately it is normal, but no, it is not supposed to be normal! I struggled with this issue for 13 years...yes 13 years with no sex drive at all....like you, I enjoyed it when we were doing it....but I never had the urge to have sex.

I asked my OB/GYN for 13 years if she could help me....her answer was that I was just tired because I was a working mom with kids.....yet my husband worked 12 hour days on his feet and begged me to wake him up if I ever had the urge!!! She never had anything that could help me.

Fortunately I found a product that changed my life - I have been on an all natural progesterone cream Prolief from Arbonne for 7 years now - don't use Prempro or Premarin....those are NOT natural! ...and I am happy to say I now want to have sex! I consider myself to be very well educated on this topic - I am an Executive Regional Vice President with Arbonne and I have helped many women - I am more than willing to help you get the cream....it will change your life...and your marriage!!! If you have any questions you can contact me at ____@____.com.

Hormones go crazy after you have a child, so it's totally normal; plus you're tired, etc. You say you enjoy it when you do have it, and that's great. Do you mind when your husband initiates, even if you don't feel in the mood? If you're ok with making love more often if he initiates, let him know that. It may help you feel better, and you'll feel better knowing you're wanting to be with him even though you're not initiating it. It's very sweet and responsible of you to be concerned and want to take care of your relationship :)

get checked for endometriosis and if you are clear ask for birth control pills. this little is not normal but other women have done it also. just tell your husband your lack of sex drive is hormonal so he doesnt feel like he is doing something wrong. I tell mine my body just isn't cooperating.

I always felt that way while I was nursing. If you're breastfeeding, you may notice you have more interest after you wean.

Totally normal. Try taking some time out for just you and your husband. After having a baby the dynamic really changes. It's harder for us because we are more emotional when it comes to our needs to want sex. Men just want it because we are there lol. Try having some date nights, or go out and find something sexy to wear for him (and you) it may help get you in the mood. The passion does tend to wear off for most couples, so then it's up to us to work at keeping it alive (husband AND wife) marriage itself is work, especially when you have kids. So dont worry, we've all been there. It's a good thing that you realize it, and you want to make it better!