Is This Neglect?

First of all I would like to say that I'm sorry that you are having to live in that kind of enviroment, no one should have to live like that.

I would call social services cause to me they are not being supervised the way they need to be.
If they are being that loud at 2am I would call the police maybe they would be able to do something.

I would be to hard on yourself about what you said to your daughter as you will find out we will always say thing we regret or shouldn't had said.
Your daughter is just act the way she sees these other kids acting and thinks it is all right sence they are aloud to do it.

I hope that you are able to move soon and find a better place to live, it is tuff living in that kind of enviroment.

Please let me know how everything turns out for you and your family.

Hi V.,
You can make an annonymous report to social services if you feel like it. Someone may come and check out the situation.

I think that as a culture we are afraid to get involved in other people's issues, but what service are we doing those kids if they are being neglected, or abused and we don't do anything because we dont want to get involved? It may be that their parents are just lousy, but it may be more serious than that. Do what you feel you need to do and then let social services take care of it, if that whats necessary.

Good luck.
M.

You asked if bringing this up would jeopardize your credibility and I say absolutely not. In fact, your a better person for doing something about this for a couple reasons: 1) it sets a good example to your children by saying such behavior is unacceptable, and 2) your actions may, in the long run, help the neighbor children if they are, in fact, in a neglectful situation. If you haven't tried speaking with the parents directly I would start there. More than likely their childrens actions are the result of poor parenting skills and you may not get the response you want, but at least you tried. Next, I would talk to the landlord (if you are set on continuing to live there.) Calling social services is a good idea if you suspect neglect. They may or may not check it out, but at least it will begin a physical record (they have to keep records of all calls/complaints.) Regarding the noise, there are city noise ordinances, but that would require calling the police and I don't know if you're prepared for the consequences of that--I'm sure your neighbors would know it was you. It's an unfair situation for you b/c you may just have to consider moving if the situation doesn't work out.

First of all, I wanted to congratulate you on your career path (I'm a Massage Therapist!) and wish you the best on your healing journey. April is right around the corner...

Others have already answered your question of what action you can take- I was wondering what, if anything, you have done? (Feel free to not answer this for confidentiality reasons!)

It will not jeopardize your credibility as a parent unless you are also hotlined and investigated in retaliation. It happens, and it is something worth worrying about. I know of people who have had their children- even babies- temporarily removed from the home due to a call from a neighbor or relative when there was no visible proof that the children were in any danger.

I lived in a basement apartment for years in college- with six people up above- and I can only imagine that living in that situation with kids of your own is very difficult. I would never want to live above another family with my two spirited boys- they sound like a herd of elephants most of the time!

Then, I was wondering if the family above you might have a different work schedule than yours? I recall years when my husband worked second shift and our son would wait up for him until midnight. It seemed awful to others, but it was what worked for our family. Nonetheless, even if that is the situation, a curfew would be a reasonable expectation. Most cities will enforce noise ordinances if you call the police for repeated problems.

Finally, is there a cultural or ethnic difference between your family and the one living above you? It might be possible that their behavior and schedule is normal for their culture (yes, I'm serious- not everyone is raised by June & Ward Cleaver).

I hope you can find a way to either move or make peace with your neighbors. Would it be possible to meet with them and call a truce and/or agree to respect each others rights?

Sending you peace, strength & understanding...

Wow what a little brat! But think how her parents must treat her to make her that way. I'd think about Miranda's advice- calling social services. They may or may not come out, but at least you know you tried. If you can, move out. If you can't then I think maybe you should try and ignore it. I don't know if talking to parents that let their kids stay up until 2am is going to help you any. Good luck, what a sucky situation for all involved.

hi V., Well i've been there and it sucks. The thing i was able to do was talk to the parents, but of course sometimes the parents act like the kids, so the best thing i can tell you is that save up some money and move out try to ignore her as much as you can i know that could be a lil hard,but it could be the right thing to do, but i dnt think you were'nt wrong on telling the girl the truth, because with a mouth like that is not going to get her anywhere. If it's hard for you to get an apt you can also look for low income they just go on what you make monthly. well i hope i was able to help.
thanks,
F. G.