Is This How It Is?

K.!
Please don't think that staying at home is impossible for you....please open your mind to the possibility, especially if you sooo want to be at home. {I hear the hurt in your writing.} You can make it happen!

Check out some books from the library or buy ones like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Staying-Home-Full-Time-Professional...#

A friend bought a similar book like this for me when I was pregnant and I'm sooo grateful she did because it changed my life. We saved; we practiced living on one income...and it happened. We sacrificed, lived in a one-bedroom apartment in a crummy neighborhood for 1 1/2 yr., drove 10yr old trashy beatup cars, but it was all well worth it.
I'm not saying that you're not already doing this...I don't know...but just thought I should encourage you that if you want to stay home with your kids...you can make it happen!

Don't feel guilty for working and leaving her. She will get used to it. She was OK at the in-home care, right? She's in a new environment with new people and there is an adjustment period. Just like when you start a new job. You don't know the people, you don't know the routine, you feel a little uncomfortable. Same thing she is going through. Once she gets used to it, she will be fine. I would mention to the director your concern about her being ignored. My DD has been at a center since she was 4 mo and I don't think a child should be left in the corner to entertain herself. I would take another look at the school and decide if it was the right choice. I'm ALL FOR centers rather than in-home care, but maybe you need to find another school where it's more learning based than babysitting. Make sense?

One last thing, don't feel guilty about working and leaving her. Some of us, no matter what we trim from our budget, will NEVER (or not anytime soon) be able to be SAHM's....and some of us don't want to be. It's a personal choice you need to make for your family and yourself. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

Oh it sounds like she's not happy :o( I have an in home day care email me if your intrested!

She will adjust, but I would be worried about them not trying to make her feel more comfortable.
You are doing your best to provide for your family. never give up hope for a WAHM situation.
Many times, if you find a mom to trade with you 20 hours per week, you can work part time becasue you don't have the cost of childcare, unless you are working to keep health insurance. I did it that way for 2 yrs until we moved to Ft Worth, and I am now looking for a similar situation. Right now we pay for someone to come to our home so I can work from home (I also work after they go to bed)
FYI, we don't have cable, new cars, or a ton of expensive toys for our kids. I shop at Goodwill and I am always looking for hand-me-downs. We cut our grocery bill dramatically by cutting out all unessary items (soda, juice boxes, treats, etc) I make bulk casseroles that feed our family for about $5 per meal (fam of 4). We make our own yogurt ice pops at home, but once or twice a week we take the kids to get an icecream cone and they love looking forward to it.

Anyways, for the time being, try to snuggle and reassure Paige as much as possible during this time. I have heard 2 weeks is a typical adjustment period.
God bless. liz

Like everyone says it takes time. I did the same with my duaghter and when I would pick her up, she would cry. I know that is not normal. I made a surprise visit one time and found the teachers watching t.v. while the kids ate. I took her out immediatly. The daycare is shut down now. I have never and will never put my child in a daycare facility. I only do at home daycares. The are starting to walk a thin line with me too. Good Luck!!!

A lot of moms stay home & the families adjust their finances to allow for it. Don't know where you guys are there, but by dumping "new" cars & credit cards, really budgeting you can discover more money than you thought you had. Check out www.Daveramsey.com, read his book The Total Money Makeover, then decide you absolutely must work. If you want to stay home- make it happen! Imagine how much money will not be going out to childcare alone!

That all said... yes, your little one will likely adapt. As long as you feel good & secure with the teachers/ environment.

D.

Well, she's only been there 2 days now, so that's really not enough time for her to get used to her new surroundings. As far as the teacher not paying her enough attention, what is the student teacher ratio? I used to work in a daycare and depending on the ratio the teachers don't always have time to spend 1 on 1 with a child, I know that's hard to take but daycares are very busy and her age class is a very tough one, give her some more time she should come around, maybe you could talk to them about trying to get her to be involved in group time or looking at a book or artwork, something to make her feel welcome, good luck I know you must feel sad and once things get better you'll both be alot happier!

Hi K.! I know how hard it can be...I went through it twice. Unfortunately, you do have to give her sometime. But they should also be giving her a little bit more attention, even though she is being "low maintenance" right now. If you are interested, I work from home and I'd love to share with you what I do. It's not a get rich quick, but eventually it can replace an income. Contact me if you'd like to hear more!

Good luck!

T.
____@____.com

K. - YES! She will adapt! I promise! But that doesn't change how you both feel now. I am so sorry. That's just heartbreaking. I am a little concerned that the teachers aren't paying attention to her. That is not normal. Maybe you could stop tonight and chat with the director and just ask what the policy is on this. Ignoring kids is not a usual protocol. It could be, though, that you've not been online during the times that a teacher has tried to engage her in activity. It's okay and "right" to allow a child to slowly adapt at her own pace. But it's tough to know if they're giving her the opportunity and continually asking. So that's the conversation I would have tonight at pickup. Find out if they are periodically inviting your daughter to join in. If they are, then great - she'll come around! If they aren't - well, you may have a problem that warrants some follow-up.

Why don't you go ahead and call up right now and ask for an actual appointment for later tonight? Directors (good ones at least) excel at comforting the first-time daycare parent and she should be more than willing to sit with you and discuss. Share your concerns. Don't worry about hurting feelings or making yourself out to be a problem parent or any other such nonsense. Just tell her that you are now obsessed with watching the internet and it's breaking your heart and you need some reassurance that they are really actively interested in caring for your daughter.

I PROMISE you the day will come when you go to pick her up and she ignores you because she's having too much fun. And I promise it gets easier. Don't second guess working, or your choice of daycare, just yet. This is an adjustment period for both of you. Talk to the director. Talk to the teachers. It's okay. Good luck!!! S.

I know exactly how you are feeling. Our little babies are so used to the same routines it's difficult to make those changes. BUT, try try to give it at least a week. If she's usually very active and outgoing, it won't be long before she catches onto the routine. Her curiosity in watching the other kids play should peek her interest and get her going in no time.

I would try talking to the teacher too. Tell her your concerns and ask for her assistance directly. Explain (again if necessary) that this is a big change for Paige and you need the teachers special attention, if only for a few days, to help her get adjusted quicker. I've found that when I take the time to talk to my daughters teachers and express my concerns they usually respond quiet well.

Good Luck!
D.

I agree with what the other moms have said about the teachers not paying attention to your daughter for two hours. If you didn't notice it getting better throughout the day yesterday or if you didn't already talk to the director, I would!

My daughter was three when she switched from home daycare to a center, and her adjustment was extremely difficult. It got to the point where she didn't want to go to bed at night because she knew she would have to go to school the next day. When she wasn't in school and we'd drive by her school, she would start to cry in the most heart-wrenching way b/c she thought we were taking her to school. Of course, all of these things made her tranisition difficult and stressful for me and my husband too! Hang in there, and things will get better. However, if you're not reassured about your daughter's wellbeing, she'll pick up on that and will have that much more difficulty adjusting. I talked to our daycare's owners about some concerns I was having about safety, and they did a great job explaining to me how things work, etc. It made me feel a lot better, and at least I knew that by keeping my daughter in there until she adjusted was the right thing to do.
It took about six weeks for my daughter to adjust. It may not be that long for you since your daughter is much younger than mine was. You'd never know now that my daughter ever didn't like going to school. Now, when we tell her that the next day is a school day, she cheers. She has lots of friends and really likes her teachers.
One last thing, at the time she was in daycare and going through that adjustment, I would have loved to have taken her out, but I also had to work for financial reasons. However, I now stay home with the kids (I still send my daughter to her daycare two days a week b/c it's also a "preschool"). Point being, you never know what could happen, so don't lose hope!