Is There Such a Thing as "Pre" Partum Depression?

I am just a few weeks ahead of you (due in 4 days) and definitely understand. The end of this pregnancy has been frustrating and many days very unsettling. I wish you the best and just know you are not alone.

That is completely normal. I do ultrasound in an OB/Gyn office and you can see when all women hit that stage. They were were always happy, excited, almost giddy until one day there is a change. They look tired and worried. It happens to the best of us. I would talk to your OB/Gyn, but please don't think you're alone in this. If you weren't thinking about how things will change, you would be in for a huge surprise when the baby is born and you weren't prepared.

Good luck and have fun with those little ones!
K.

You know what it's like to deal with one kiddo, so it's natural to have anxiety over the things you didn't know to worry about before! I won't say it's easy, but for me it wasn't as hard as the first child. You're more prepared, you have a better idea of how best to handle things, etc. Will you get to pee in peace, nope. Will you sleep, not well at first. Sex, of course, you just have to get over the fact that someone WILL walk in on you at sometime... don't be embarassed "We're kissing" works for quite a while. I will get better and because the learning curve is smaller the bounce back is realitively quick. Good luck, best wishes and God bless!

It sounds like those hormones are taking you for a ride! Sorry!! You know just hang on, it will all be ok. This baby is such a blessing and you just have to get through this time. You older son will love being a big brother. You can get him a special t-shirt or something that says, "proud big brother" that can help him feel important. Maybe you can go to the library and pick up some stories about becoming a big brother. I think if you take charge of the situation and prepare your little one for the new arrival that will help your emmotions line out. You will have time to yourself again, after awhile. Plus your older one will help you get diapers etc. You are so blessed to become mom of baby number two, fear of the unknown is normal, but take charge and be the awesome mom you are! Congrats!!

This may have been said before, but I honestly did not read all the responses...so forgive me if I repeat.
First, What you are feeling is normal, but I would still suggest speaking with the Dr. about it just in case it develops into something more than anxiety!
Second, Look on the positive side...Now there will be two parents and two babies! One for each, so no one feels overwhelmed with the total care of one...now it can be divided evenly and without question or guilt or resentment! My BFF has 6 and she has always said the even numbers were the easiest!

You will rise to the occasion! Just the fact that you are looking at your feelings and asking for help and advice speaks volumes about your ability to handle this!!!

S., it's normal to feel the way you are. Each pregnancy brings with it a new slew of feelings. Don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you are, and don't let yourself get stuck in a funk for too long either. You and your little family are about to go through a big transformation, but a truly beautiful and expansive one. Just breathe and remember that the way you feel now will pass, and soon you will be falling in love with your new little one and your heart will feel full. As long as you and your partner are working together to help your 1st son adjust, he will do just fine. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and (if you do) pray. All the patience, love and peace is available to you through your strong spirit and your loved ones surrounding you. I hope these words help, I have three under 8!
-D.

My fist son was 18 months old when I went into preterm labor with number 2. Everything happened so fast. You know, this sounds so terrible, but when I had son #2 I was SO worried about kid #1 that I couldn't bond with #2!!! I really had resentment towards him and how he changed the dynamics of the family. I sat there thinking how and the hell am I going to do this. But it all works. Include your first child in as much as possible so they full loved and part of this new child's life. The can fetch diapers, get a bottle, read them a story.... just include them. They will grow up loving eachother with a great bond. My two are inseperable. We do everything together. we think about number 3 but again, how would we do it with three!! Ugh!! Enjoy what time you have left with your pregnancy. I never made it past 33 weeks with either of my kids. Start preparing your little one now for the arrival of the newbie by letting them know what will happen. Ie: the baby will cry a lot and be fed a lot, mommy will be tired and will not be able to give you lots of attention at first. Things will get better and as the baby grows you will have a permanent playmate!!
Good Luck!!

I was the opposite of you, I thought I could do it all and would be great at mothering multiple children. It didn't hit me until much later (after the third) how hard it is!
Tell your doctor about how you are feeling because you may be indeed suffering from the same kind of depression that can hit after having a baby. The thing to remember is not to feel guilty or bad about your feelings. It is overwhelming being a parent! You are right to have these feelings, just don't keep it all inside. Find a new-mom support group or tell your doctor so you can keep a close eye on it incase you need extra help afterwards. There is no shame in that! Just think, you'd do anything for your baby, so take care of yourself with the same compassion.
The joys do outnumber the stresses, but there is a lot of life-changing stuff going on with each additional child, so be patient with yourself. Try to take small moments to center your mind without worry, even if just for a 5 minute meditation each day, do something peaceful for yourself.
And, no, you'll never get to pee alone again....until they go off to college. :)

You might talk with your Dr. on your next visit. However from one mother to another, been there. Part of having a new family member coming. You were there also where you were expecting your first one you just do not remember. Yes there will be changes they will seem like they last forever but thing of the wonderful being that you will have with you. All the wonderful things that he or she will do for and with you. The wonderful things that they will do with their life and see. Places that they will go and the people they will meet and someday marry. This is all the changes that are coming and YES you will get to pee by your self one day like I said been there done that. I now have a grandchild and I need to make time to pee by myself again haha.

I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with my 2nd boy. We had moved far away from my parents and our life in another state and I was very overwhelmed with the idea of having another baby with a 2 year old. I was loney and down and felt guilty about it. I was better after the baby came but I would definantly talk to your OB. It helped me to get involved in activity with other moms. I started going to a womens bible study at our church and I know MOPS has daycare provided while the moms meet to do different fun things. You are pretty busy with work and school so I can understand your issue. My boys are 2 1/2 and 4 yrs now and it does get easier. I'll pray you are blessed with a healthy baby who loves to sleep :0) Good luck!

Could you be exhausted? I'm saying that because I read you are working, attending school, have a 2 yr old and are pregnant too. I sure hope you get plenty of help and support from your husband.

I suggest you talk to your OB/GYN about your feelings because it's been going on for a while now and it doesn't appear to be going away by itself. But do take time for play, relaxing, fun, laughter, get plenty of sunshine and do things you really enjoy.

Create some habits now that can continue after the baby is born. Make self-care a priority and go on weekly dates with your husband, get help from others. No one does things well if they are doing everything all by themselves. We were created to need one another. Connect with friends that can support you during this time.

May the Lord bless you with everything you need and may He lift your spirits so you can enjoy all that this little one is going to bring to your family!

My husband and I went through the same thing. Instead of me feeling worried and overwhelmed, it was my husband. He was worried about providing for us. I told him not to worry, things will work out fine. It's normal to feel this way.

When you see your son and hold him for the first time, all your worries will disappear.

God won't give you something or someone you can't handle. Everything will be ok. There are other couples who have several children, and they are making it.

You may be experiencing overexhaustion. You work and go to school. That's too much for anyone. Try to cut back on doing so much. You need to take it easy and get some much needed rest.

Take care and good luck.

Rosie

Make sure you are getting plenty of Omega 3s, such as in ground flax seed. Does your prenatal vitamins have DHA/ARA/omega 3s? they are finding that this helps tremendously in preventing post partum depression which CAN start before birth if you are tired and anxious.

Exercise can help too! Learn to meditate, it will help you while in labor as well (or if you have a c-section!) Listen to a relaxing cd (dollar tree has some right now!) and practice relaxing each muscle and remember in detail a favorite memory or imagine walking along a beach or other place you enjoy (again, think of details!)

S., mom to 5!

As a current "severe" Post Partum sufferer. I can tell you that for me the signs were there before I even gave birth 6 months ago. I just thought that it was normal to feel that way. Little did I know that a week after having my daughter that I would spiral into a "DEEP DARK PLACE". I went for help right away of course because I knew the way I felt was robbing me of the time I had with my family and new baby girl. And yes there is such a thing as pre-partum depression. It is very real, and getting in touch with your doctor is key. Please get help.....it may become nothing, but you never know. I had no idea that it could be so bad. I am so much better now, and feel half way recovered. For me it was just a matter of taking a pill everyday, and talk therapy. I am in a totally different place now and happier than I have ever been. I know that I still have a long road ahead of me, but I can survive. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions. Take care and God bless!

I know I did..but the only thing I could recommend is a counselor. Anti-depressants are not a good idea during pregnancy, although they worked wonders for me AFTER my second baby, who also is a girl..And my first son was also 2 1/2 when I was pregnant too. Maybe it has something to do with timing? I don't know but talking with close friends or to a counselor would be in your best interest. I wish you luck. Depression is very hard to deal with on your own. ttyl if you wanna talk to me I'm a good listener!

My first child I was "Mom know it all" no pressure. I was the opposite with the second, insecure as hell.I had the same anxiety around the same time with my second. In fact during his first few weeks home, I felt stupid. It's like I couldn't remember what to do with an infant! The older son did great, it all fell into place. You are not the only one with second child anxiety and worry!!

Congratulations and Good Luck.

Hi S.,
Please try to get help from either your doctor/midwife or counselor.
They can help relieve your anxiety and depression. I was in a
great postpartem support group at Family Connections in Austin, and
it helped me tremendously. The psychologist who led the support
group was Dr. Kelly Boyd. Her phone number is ###-###-####.
Please call her. She has a practice in Round Rock. If she can't see you,
she may have some helpful ideas for you. Best wishes, Theresa

Well I can tell u frm my case all that was very normal. I am a single mother of 6 but when number two came oh how I cried w the same thoughts. How will I love him when I love my first one so much.. How will I be able to manage w two? Omg! So many thoughts its just human nature and the feelings will subside. There are so many gagdets now that we can rely on as far aas keeping babies happy. I found myslef using the baby carrier hangon a lot at dinner time (cooking) for showers the baby seats the soft ones carseats on chair next to u so ur in plain veiw for him and biseversa. U will get it its absolutely normal your not alone.
Wish u the best and reremember we aren't superwomen so the house isn't always clean on time or the bed doesn't get made one of their smiles full of love out weighs the importance of all the tasks at hand. As far as your other son include him in as much as possible or as he wants.

Best wishes for you all!!!

Hi S.,
Working, going to school, running a home with a small child and near delivery is enough to make anyone overwhelmed. Telling you to rest sounds laughable, I know, but whatever you can cut down on, or engage some help with, do it.
All the topics your are worrying about will work themselves out. You haven't made a mistake, you'll be a good mom, again, your sons will love each other, you will have sex again; however, it will be a while before you go to the bathroom alone LOL.
I cried during the last of my pregnancy because I felt sorry for my 16 mo DD that she would not have my sole attention. What I couldn't forsee was that she would love her baby brother, be a big help to me, that there is enough love to go around. Get some rest. It will all come together and you will do fine. I know. Peace, C.

yes. I went through a depression while I was pregnant with my second one. It went away after I gave birth. Just take it easy and leave it to God. Relax and prepare for the birth, that's all you can do!

Hi S.,

Talk to your OBGYN! She needs to know that you are experiencing some anxiety and possibly depression. All of this is effecting the baby you are carying and your family. Not just you. Take care of yourself and please let us all know how its going!
T.

You bet! Talk to your ob/gyn and get some help. You don't need to suffer as much as you have been. Change is very hard and sometimes you just need a little help getting through it. Not a problem with that! I've had a few friends that went on medication before having their babies and that helped. Best wishes!

Hello! I am not sure of your question, but I think you are having signs that you may have it when the baby comes. So you can talk to your Dr. about it now and he can tell you what he will recommend. I even have friends whose Dr.s put them on it the last month so it will already be in their system when the baby comes.
I have 2 kids and I remember feeling alot of unanswered questions right before I gave birth to our little boy. I didn't realize this at the time but having another child was giving my daughter a gift...her first friend and a very lasting friend. Its not easy at first but you take one day at a time and the four of you figure out the changes together. That is nice that he is four, you will beable to involve him alot more than you could a two year old. I know this seems really really heavy right now but once that baby gets here you will be amazed at what a natural next step it is, the details change but the love you share just grows. Good Luck!

Hi S.,

I'm so sorry that you're having these feelings. I'm not sure if there is a "diagnosis" per se for what you're experiencing. All I can do is tell you how the adjustment has been for me. I have a daughter who will be 3 a month from today and I have a 6 month old son, so I have just been through getting adjusted to having 2 children at home.

I am going to be very honest and tell you that the first 6 weeks were pretty difficult for me. The lack of sleep was really tough with a toddler at home because you can't just "sleep when the baby sleeps" like you could with just one. I am also breastfeeding and that took about 4-6 weeks to get comfortable as well (even though I breastfed my daughter also). The good news is that things just keep getting easier as time goes on. Now that the baby is 6 months old, I am really enjoying them both. They are starting to play together and the baby just LOVES his big sister. Every time I see them smile and laugh together, all of the tough times just melt away. Hang in there, S.! You are going to do GREAT! Just know that you're going to have to ask for help when you need it. Please don't be afraid to do that. If you are part of a church, make sure you talk to some people you are close to and line up some meals and/or babysitting services for the first week or two. If you have family around, make sure you use them also. Try to get some sleep before the baby comes and go get yourself a pregnancy massage if you can. It will help you to relax some. I will say a prayer for you, S.. Take care of yourself!

S.,
My mother's best advice was always..."This too shall pass." Just know that it will, once he gets here. Although I have never heard of pre-post-partum, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I have heard of people being that anxious when the time comes and whether or not they already have a little one. Know that the second one actually is easier because you know what you're doing. Also, when he gets a bit older, he will make for a great playmate for your other son and therefore give you more time than you have now because they'll keep eachother busy.
I was very anxious before my 3rd child. She arrive 10 years after my second child ~ it was a tough reality to give up my freedom again, but I gotta tell you, it went very smoothly and I was thankful.
Keep very close to God with your prayers at this time, and remember that your anticipation is usually a bigger deal than the actual event. Everything will be alright. Your anxiety only means that you're a great mom. Do not be so hard on yourself with the guilt ~ your feelings are quite normal and they will pass.
Best of luck to you and your family. God bless and have a beautiful holiday season.
D.

Hi S.,
I went through the same thing,my kids are 3 yrs apart. I have a daughter that is 6 and a son that is 3. I think your feelings are perfectly normal. Your life only involves one child to deal with. You will feel different as soon as you and your new born come home from the hospital. I was kind of panicking till I came home and told myself I can do this and I did. S. if I did it so can you.

Good luck,
Elisa

Hurry and get some Shaklee B-Complex. Vitamin B is called the "Happy vitamin". It does a lot of good things for our bodies and mind and many people are deficient in Vitamin B. Too much homocystiene, which is a natural hormone-like substance our bodies make, can cause heart problems and can mess with your mind. Your doctor can test for this but, in my opinion, it isn't necessary to have the test. Just take Shaklee B-Complex for a few days and see if you notice a difference. It takes care of the homocystiene problem. I take it myself and have given it to friends to get them through planning their weddings........ remember the stress there? Morning sickness is sometimes caused by lack of Vitamin B. I take it because it works better for me than prescription meds for depression. My husband takes it for digestive problems.

I remember having a little concern when we were expecting our second little boy. I was mostly concerned that the dynamics of our perfect little family was going to change. It changed. But, I will tell you this: no one in our family would want to miss the joy of our second son; not his older brother, his younger sister, his grandparents, and certainly not his dad and I. He was a colicy baby but we made it through. You will, too, but don't forget about Shaklee B-Complex. It is the best.

S.,

There probably is a "pre" partum depression, but it is more than likely caused by a fear of the unknown. I know that you feel overwhelmed right now, and that is very understandable. Remember when you felt overwhelmed after the birth of your first son? You didn't know enough to feel overwhelmed before your first son's birth, but now you know how hard it is to be a good mommy. You want to be able to do it all or just forget it. You didn't make a mistable. You are a good mommy now, and you will be a good mommy to son number two. I promise that you will figure it all out. Try hard to concentrate on the beauty of a new baby. Many women don't ever get the privilege of being a mommmy to any babies. Keep telling yourself that you are smart, capable, and able to figure it all out. Go one step at a time. Time flies by even quicker the second time around. I promise that you will be able to sleep again and have sex again. You may never pee alone again, but you will be able to handle that too. Your children will be teenagers before you know it, and all of this will be a distant memory. Cherish every single day, because we are not promised another one. Ask God to give you peace, strength,and wisdom. He is a God who answers prayers. Take care of yourself right now. Your baby was created just for you and you were created for your baby. He will bless you in so many ways! Good luck!

Actually, that's just plain depression. I went through it with my 3rd pregnancy and I had similar thoughts as yours except several times, I felt like "accidentally" ending the pregnancy. My ob-gyn referred me to a psychologist but he wasn't helpful. So, I just cried it out. IT was just me and a little 1 yr old at home!! I can't take medicine that requires adult supervision!! My 7 yr old hated me for having another baby and the father of the 2nd and 3rd wasn't helpful. In fact, he was angry when i told him i was expecting again. so, i now have 2 little ones with me in the potty and my double stroller is my best friend. Everything is okay now. no meds either.

I was that way my entire last month with both my children. I was scared and crying and totally convinced that it was the completely wrong thing to do. And you REALLY have your hands full, don't beat yourself up about being apprehensive. It will all go away when you hold the new little one.