I joined a few months ago because I'm an old 'experienced' mom ready to share tips & tricks, and I'm reading sooo many posts from moms that recommend CIO, "sleep training", schedules for babies only weeks old, Ezzo (shivers), saying co-sleeping is a "bad habit", etc. etc... I was just curious if I'm on my own here! LOL! I love these boards, but sometimes I feel like my attachment-parenting, child-led feeding/weaning is not the "norm" here, as it is in so many other places...
Just curious - don't wanna debate, just looking for like-minded moms...
EDITED 10/20 evening: I wish this board had a way to respond! I really don't want to debate parenting styles - I'm set in my ways that co-sleeping is the only way to go, that following your baby's cues is 100% correct, that CIO is NOT healthy in any way, shape, or form. I am simply looking to see if anyone else on this board feels this way. This is definitely the first baby board that this "style" is in the minority, maybe the other boards don't read so many parenting books (which are NOT good or healthy)... but that's just my opinion.
Thank you. I got the info I needed... I see I have a lot of work to do to show moms that babies don't need "trained" (I have two dogs, I train them!), don't need to cry, but just need love.
I can understand what you are saying! I hear "new" mom's rules and I think I would probably be hung. I think you have to do what works. I must really be out of the loop because I haven't even heard of CIO!
I am like you!!!! I am a 27 year old mom of one son. He is almost 18 months old and he still sleeps in our bed. And I am proud to offer you that piece of information. I love waking up to a little, warm, body that reaches out to me and hugs me.
I, too was offered the "baby boot camp, stay strong, let him cry it out, put head phones on, take a w'lk" advice. It DID NOT work for me. I was miserable the few days that I finally broke and tried it. I nursed my son until he was ready to stop, he was one year. I was so sad when he stopped, but confident that he was ready to move on.
I always say that having my son created the "Mother Nature" in me.
And I love it!
G.
I didn't family bed for long because of my own neurosis about rolling on my daughter -- but I agreed with most attachment parenting. I didn't get the feeling that you were in any way criticizing anyone else either, so I hope you don't get flamed! I also have an eight year old in Upper Arlington. Let me know if you even want to get together! BTW, nice business website!
S.
S.,
You are not alone! I am 49 with three grown kids- 28, 22, and a 17 1/2 year old still at home but rarely home. All three are in college...and me, too.
You're a mom for life! We belong here. I think these young mothers here need us! (It also makes me feel useful to help somebody.) :) I think we need to help them relax, enjoy their babies, and quit rushing the growing up. I was never one for schedules. I slept with all my kids, breastfed each for about 9-12 months, and we all turned out okay...better than okay!
You are not alone. I am mostly an AP mom. I just don't have the time and energy to post to every mom that wants help getting baby into a crib in their own room. :) I do think that families need to do what is right for them. So I try not to preach at other families. But yea, my personal bias is to b/f, co-sleep, no CIO, and such.
Fight the good fight. LOL
Hi S., I am not old, 27, and some of these things I read to are crazy, not meaning to offend anyone. I run an inhome daycare as well and some of the things some moms have said they were told to do is crazy, not only some of the things my sister inlaw who just had a baby has said. Some of the moms I babysit for eventually start realizing to do there own thing that is right for there baby and them. I have 3 children and 1 on the way. I love my pediatrician he is old fashion, I have noticed that it is the younger pediatricians that have said alot of things some mothers have told me. I do take some of the new research into consideration, but I also do my own, and use my own experience, which I understand some mothers are new, but I say look around, and if it doesn't feel right it probab;y isn't. BUt the big topic seemingly here is wehter to sleep with your children, and I don' think it is a good idea either just because kids don't leave...lol Its a matter of them getting spoiled, and it does cause a hard transition, I know from experience, but every mom does it, especially with the first. It can be dangerous, and should be something that moms should really think about. I know babies are cute and snuggly, but...
I agree with your methods, but everyone has to do what is right for them. Honestly I would probably let our baby sleep in our bed all night if we had a king, with a queen there's not enough room for 3 of us to sleep comfortably, but she still sleeps in our room in her crib. People tell me I should move her to her own room, but I think I sleep better with her in the room, plus I am still breast feeding, much easier this way. I am not into the CIO method either. And I follow my baby's cues, I haven't read many books on how to do things, I just do what feels natural, and I do think that "attachment" parenting is more natural.
I don't think it is really fair to say the women on here looking for advice are rushing babies to grow up. One mother asked about co sleeping and her baby is almost 3 months old, not a few weeks. In my opinion, co-sleeping is not a good idea. From personal experience, my neice was suffacted that way and I also know how my friend has struggled getting her toddler to sleep in her own room. I recall my mother co sleeping with me and at 6 yrs old, I still couldn't sleep alone in my own room. To me, that is just crazy. I firmly believe children should have their own room for their sake, as well as their parents. I only respond to posts that I have some knowledge of. I don't think it's really fair to come down on someone because they have different views and opinions. Because some moms feel differently, it doesn't mean they are young and inexperienced.
Hey S., I gotta agree with you too... I have had a cousin suffocate from cosleeping and am totally against it. Not too mention that I know quite a few toddlers who still sleep with thier parents... Sorry my alone time iwth my husband is much more important. I am not a schedule person, THOUGH that being said, I did have my daughter on somewhat of a schedule. I had her on a sleep, eat, play schedule. No time limits, no forced anything.... Just when she woke up, i fed her, and then we played.... then bedtime again. I fail to understand why some parents dont let thier children cry.... So many parents are afraid they are going to hurt thier children by discplining them and letting htem cry things out... I dont think they should cry for hours... but check on them and you can tell how upset they are or if they are crying for attention. I am a little too open about stuff like this and tend to speak my mind on it too much... so that being said. Thanks for getting the ball rolling...
Ok First I am confused a little I was reading your responses that others gave and I thought you were for co sleeping. Are you for it or against it. beacuase I don't think some people read it correctly so before I respond all the way I would like to know if you are for or aginst. M.
