Is Shy/Introverted Easier in This Digital Age?

Updated on February 11, 2014
F.B. asks from Kew Gardens, NY
5 answers

Mamas & Papas-

Just wondering, for those of you who are shy/ introverted, or who have kids of that ilk, do you find that they get on easier in this digital age? Case in point, when I was in law school, 10+ years ago, laptops were the exception. You had to speak in class, get called on, and even grilled. Hubs is a more recent law school grad. He says the classroom was all wi-fi, and the prof would post questions on a discussion board and have students answer anonymously multiple choice, during class sessions. I imagine the later makes shyness/ introversion less of a hindrance (if you consider it to be one to begin with).

On the flip side, since the practice of law, regarless of your specialty, requires a degree of oral advocacy, maybe the student body as a whole was done a disservice in being able to answer electronically.

Thanks,
F. B.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Having just interviewed a bunch of candidates from top MBA schools (Stanford, Wharton etc), personality still matters. We have a big pool of people to make an offer to and we know they're almost all very smart given their accomplishments to date. So a lot of it boils down to who we want to work with. And that's personality. Not just being nice which we value but if the person seems nice but is hard to talk to bc they're so shy, we'll move on to the person who is also nice but easy to talk to. So when I think of my kids' future, I will certainly be focusing on their personalities as well as academics. I don't believe in pushing too hard on either. People are who they are. But same time, I was super shy as a kid and did learn to not be so it can be done. And I'm sure it helped my career. It's probably not important for all careers but I think the majority. My husband is in a technical field and he's not always the most advanced degree in the field but bc he can also interact well with people, he's senior management while some impressive Phd's just don't have the people skills to move up. I also know plenty of people who didn't go to top schools but are great with people and are highly successful bc of it. I don't think that's going to change even in this digital age. May make it easier to a certain level but not to the top. Interesting question. Some people likely are in different fields and may have totally different POV's.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I should think the people who wanted to could take comfort in the anonymity of online sessions. However, as you've mentioned, you can't practice law from the solitude of your computer. You have to deal with all sorts of real people. The folks who are just introverts can learn to do that, because they can learn to limit the interactions to a comfortable level - and of course the people they become friends with are easy to interact with. Those folks who are shy (very self-conscious) will have to conquer *those* feelings, and those feelings are worth conquering.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Houston on

Regardless of personality type, I think people are not benefiting long term from the anonymity, cloak of privacy and emotional distance provided by the digital age. There are many layers in the interactions between people which the digital age provides little or no opportunity to explore, practice and improve upon. People skills should be developed because they are required at nearly every job at some point and are important in ever relationship overall.

Undoubtedly it is easier to answer on a discussion board so in the short term it may seem beneficial. But because a person isn’t putting himself out there for public consumption, including negative experiences like intense questioning, scrutiny and verbal sparring, a person doesn’t learn how to handle those situations. He answers his questions, faces removed feedback and moves on with his life which is hardly a learning experience in any sense. There is an enormous gulf between real conversations and postings. A person misses all of the nuances of body language and tone. For better or worse we as humans learn by doing and that includes human interactions. In the long run I do not think society will benefit from the digital age nearly as much as we’d like to believe. Convenience always comes with a price.

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*.*.

answers from New London on

I was a very shy kid that was fat (very fat) for 3 yrs. I didn't talk much.
I had a couple close girlfriends. I probably would have loved to type on the computer.

Yet, I researched some info about shy kids (yrs ago) and the info mentioned that if you have a group of 10 shy kids...Only 2 of them will be shy as adults.

I am not shy anymore. Once you have a teen, you can't be shy!!! In the workplace, you can't be shy, either.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I would imagine that it is easier in this digital age. People hide behind their computers and post things that, if face-to-face, they would never say.

BTW, I've known a couple of people who did on-line law school and they are great sitting at their desk writing briefs or talking to clients, but they do not do well AT ALL when they have to speak in court.

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