Is My 4 Yr Old Showing Normal Behavior

Updated on August 05, 2010
A.G. asks from Fresno, CA
10 answers

since my daughter was younger she has had a problem with bitten or broken food. or if u grab a fri from her plate she will litterally no longer eat off that plate or not eat at all. i thought it was a phase she would out grow but she just expresses those feeling stronger as times goes. could she have some type of ocd disorder or is it normal. everything always has to be perfect to her standards.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

SOunds just like a kids quirk to me. My 3 year old has severe issues if someone takes food from him without asking. My mother especially has an awful habit of just picking food from other's plates, and he will throw a tantrum and no longer eat, including broken or bitten pieces. However, if asked first, he's happy to share.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter (when she was 4) used to remove ANYTHING from her plate that she didn't like and put it on the table. Despite mulitple attempts to tell her that it wasn't ok and that the "yucky" food wouldn't affect her other food, she still did it. She was like this about other things too. It's a control/independence issue at this age and not abnormal. My almost 3 year old won't take her sippy from your hand. You have to set it on the table and then she'll take it. My oldest is 9 now and a great, completely normal eater/student/kid.

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi A. - it just sounds like quirky kid behavior to me. I know some very functional highly intelligent adults who do similar things. I know a woman who wont eat chicken off of the bone (where does she think it starts from). A friends husband is an incredibly picky eater and hates even the idea of casseroles and mixing vegetables or pasta with meat. To him it's like putting food in a blender.

Maybe bringing her into the kitchen to help you cook and prepare her plate will help her understand the process and get more comfortable with her food. Just an idea.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Is it only a food issue or does it also effect other areas of her life? It does sound like she is imposing some dysfunctiional rules on herself. If the behavior interferes with her life, you should seek treatment from a pschiatrist. OCD and anxiety disorders are very treatable.

M.

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D.B.

answers from Fresno on

My son does the same thing. He is also 4 years old. Maybe it's just some kind of independence thing they are trying to find.

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

HI, I am 34 years now, but when I was a child I hated when someone touched my food, and I never drank any drink if anyone drank it before me. I am not like that anymore... It took 20 years....Good luck.

K.I.

answers from Spokane on

My 4 yr old son is the same exact way! I think its normal...

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello A., I am the mother of 5 as well as the grandmother of several. We have several that ae this way. We call it personal space and personal respect of others things. I can say that she is totally normal! Many 4 yo are transitioning from toddlerhood to young children headed towards school age. For tht it is acceptable to have thier own boundries and standards based on what you have taught. Remeber that if she is in day care as well, she has visually seen things and taken in that information and that helps with her decision.,
I understand that our one daughter said that becasue she took time to take care to make sure her hands were clean but she didn't know if another had that she resented someone taking things off herplate, and would not eat anymore food from that plate, or if she saw someone useing fingers to taste food while its being prepared instead of using a spoon or fork will refuse to eat it. In this world as they get older it is a matter of safety so it pays off by the time they are teens. With our grandchildren who are this way with food I let them see my every step of cutting thier food or I cut off the "broken parts" so they have a solid pice and then we cut it. I have several that are absolute no compromise in thier organization of things. It helps them to be organized and ready in all areas of thier lives as students and on the job.
If you were to go to a restraunt and they brought you food that was torn or a hambugar that was in pieces you'd send it back right? well being at home is the place to prepare for that.
Pleae be cautious about saying things like " then go hungry for all I care, or that's what there is so accept it" becasue I know of one young lady that nearly starved herself because she litterally did wha twas said. Her parents now teach others to becareful of what they say.
She is being a normal royal princess little girl. I have to say with my sons although highly organized with things they were not even aware of what they ate!

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Can't say mine does/did but I have had times when I have inadvertently 'flipped the switch' by doing something that in his mind was a no-no and that was that for that particular situation. Not too often or consistently though that I can think of (not that my memory serves me well these days)

Lots of good advice here. I do think they do have a sense of their personal space and boundaries. Hopefully she'll grow up and marry someone who isn't the total opposite when it comes to sharing food off plates, etc!

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E.R.

answers from San Francisco on

At this point it sounds pretty noramal. One of my children wouldn't eat food if it touched other food on the plate. She finally outgrew that in her teens but she is still a picky eater. However, she is willing to try things and does not have any wierd food issues.

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