Is It Wrong to Take Toddler with You to Tour Preschool?

G.,
I would ask about this when you call to set up the tour. When we visited preschools (and kindergartens this past year, for that matter), no one brought a child to visits unless the visit specified that it was for the kids. I completely get the babysitting issue, but unless you have family or friends who can help, you might be stuck on that. Also, I know this was not in your question, but to address a prior post, kids that age are too young to make meaningful decisions about where they want to go to school. My son liked one K-8 the best because he liked the play structure. Your intuition will guide you in the right direction. I think the issue from the preschools' perspective would be that it could be difficult to conduct a tour and really communicate with the parents if everyone's kid came. I don't know how hard it is to get into the preschools you are touring, but I would suggest that you ask the schools ahead of time if it is ok to bring your son. That way, they know you are having a hard time arranging babysitting but that you will respect the school environment, etc., if your son is admitted. As for not having received any negative feedback so far, keep in mind that the preschool director would have had to be pretty rude to give you any negative feedback, and that he/she would have made a bad impression on the rest of the group. The directors might have been absolutely fine with your son being there, but there is really no way to know based on their reactions. They are professionals who are, at that moment, busy marketing their schools. If you ask for permission/advice at least you'll know if it's ok to bring your son, and while I can imagine a preschool director being a bit irritated at having to compete with a child running off (as probably any child would), I cannot imagine anyone being put off by your asking for advice.
K.

I would think it would be beneficial to your son to bring him on the preschool tour. You can see how he interacts awith the environment and plays. If a director of a preschool would be "put-off" by bringing a child for a visit than I would not want my child at that preschool. A preschool should be about the welfare of the child. Besides, it's a place where he is going to spend some time, wouldn't you want to make sure the staff are sensitive and open to children as well as a parents need to engage their child in their future school experience which is CRITICAL to their development.
I say forget the "people pleasing", listen to your instincts and bring him.

I think it depends on the school. You should ask what they prefer when you schedule the tour. Personally I always found that schools that asked my children to be include on the tours were a better fit for my family-they seem warmer, more accepting, and you get an idea of how your kid will fit in in that particular school. Good luck!

If the pre-school you plan on placing your child in is not keen on having you child present during the tour, then it's not the place you ought to even consider. Your child should be a part of the process as he will be the one attending. You should be able to see how your child reacts to the environment so that you can make a better decision and have the knowledge that when you do take your son there, you'll know that he's in good hands. Incidentally, expect to freak out a little and feel all sorts of worries on the first day - it's a huge first for you both. If your son starts to cry, stay w/ him a little to soothe him, at least for the first few days (I did this for a couple of weeks!). If you know anoyone else going to that school, see if you can do playdates with them so that your son will have a friend in class when he you drop him off. :) Adjustment periods vary by kids, my daughter's was about 3 weeks, and once in a while, she still gets needy, but as soon as she sees her friends, she's fine! :) Good luck!