My 11 (almost 12) year old son has always been sweet, cheerful and affectionate, though very independent. Until he was maybe 8, he was what we called a "cuddle bug" -- always wanting to curl up next to us, crawl into bed with us at night, cuddle before going to sleep and so forth. That changed when he hit the late elementary and early tween years, but now he's swinging back and forth between wanting to be alone in his room and wanting to be glued to us, like when we are sitting on the couch watching a movie and he's practically in our laps. Several mornings lately, he's woken up at dawn and wandered into our bedroom for a snuggle. It's not that he's overly attached, as he has never had any trouble at all separating from us and being on his own. Is this normal, i.e. just part of the tween roller coaster? Or could something deeper be going on?
what changes have been in his life lately? did you move? Is he going to a different school?
I would talk WITH him, not TO him. Ask open-ended questions. Best conversations happen when you are in a car. He can't escape! :)
I think all kids go through the phase of being clingy again. Especially as they get older and realize life is not always pretty.
Just keep the conversation going.
Sounds normal to me, also mom to an 11 year old boy.
We have one like this. He's a bit older than your son, but was doing it around your son's age also.
He's our sensitive child. He is also an over thinker at times. I think he likes the comfort of coming to find us and just relaxing with us.
He goes through phases.
With my husband, he just sort of appears and then my husband gets him to help him with a project he's working on.
With me, he just appears and wants to talk or just watch a show, or whatever. He's just suddenly there - all the time.
I wouldn't say he's crawled into bed for a long time - but he did when he was younger.
I think sometimes they just need to feel the love. I just make sure I listen if he starts talking.
Yep! My 17 year wrecked his daddy's car - now he's being a tad clingy. No one was hurt, but it really did give him a scare!
My 15 year old went through this from 10 to 13. Off and on clingy - not wanting to "grow up" and to be my "baby".
Just part of life and growing up!
During waking hours, my 15 year old is a cuddle bug. When his friends are not around to see it. If we're all watching a movie, he usually is leaning on or has a leg flung over someone.
My bedroom is off limits when I'm asleep unless someone is sick or there is an emergency. Waking me up by coming in at the crack of dawn for a snuggle is not allowed. For me, this is a boundary that my kids are not welcome to cross. If you don't mind, that's fine. If you do mind, you need to tell him to stop.
I think this is okay. It's normal for a kid to go back and forth from independence to clinginess.
If you don't do this, consider starting: pick a book that you are sure he will like, and read to him every night, in his room in the bed. Chat with him and let him talk to you. The more he opens up, the more innocuous questions you can ask him. It might lead to a deeper discussion that would give you clues as to if he is having trouble. My guess is that he is not, but this would be a good way to suss it out. And he'll love you reading to him, even at this age. It's something to share together...
Not every kid is like this but I'd say it's normal for him.
It doesn't sound like it's anything to worry about.
I really think this is just "human nature".
Let she throw the first stone who is not one day "tough independent MP poster" and another day "my day [at work, in life, etc] was so bad, can we cuddle"!!
All ages. For your son, his cuddle "victim" of choice just happens to be you!
