Is It My Parenting... or My Sons Personality/age?

I think it's probably his personality. My daughter (3) and I attend a parent-toddler dance class, and some of the kids spend the time running around instead of following the movements. It's pretty free form, so it's not such a big deal.

I mostly responded because today I had to carry my daughter kicking and screaming out of dance class because she wanted to hoard all the instruments and started grabbing things from other kids. It's a huge dance studio, too, with lots of other classes going on and her screams could be heard throughout the building! I, too, was mortified and super embarrassed. I know that the other parents their have had their moments, too, but still no one wants their child to be "that" kid. Anyway, thanks for reminding me that we all go through it at one point or another. And we all get through it!

In my experience, 2 years old have a hard time listening and following directions. Just let him run and have fun and maybe try it again when he is older. Good luck.

he's just not "into" it. lol
maybe some trips to the park or some of the mcdonalds play land stuff would be better suited for him.
It does give you some insight tho. Start working on keeping him engaged at things and then try it again one day when he's a little more emotionally mature. What he does this week will be completely different two weeks from now.
Don't be embarrassed tho... no need for that.

Your son sounds like a typical almost-2 yo little boy, and the instructor sounds like a jackass.

I can't say how much is personality, but certainly could be his age, because my daughter could be much the same way at 2, and she is now 3.5 and MUCH better about paying attention and following a routine (she got that mind-of-own type personality too!). Last year we did a once-a-week Mommy and Me type class for 2 year olds at our local preschool. The class started in September and my DD had just turned 2 in August a month before. When all the other kids and moms were greeting each other in a circle at the start of class, DD wanted to just start playing with toys - she wanted to do ANYTHING else but participate in the group, while all the other kids are sitting in their moms' laps and following the song and teacher's directions. Fortunately, the teacher (who also teaches 3 year old preschool) just went along with it and never said anything. After the 2nd or 3rd class I talked to her and said I was really sorry, I just couldn't understand why my daughter didn't want to sit still and pay attention while all the other kids were being perfect. She asked when her birthday was and when she found out she had just turned 2, she said not to worry about it. She let me know that all the other kids in the class were more like 2.5 and there is a huge difference in 2 year olds between those have just turned 2 and those that are closer to 3. Her expectation was that as DD got closer to 2.5 and then to 3, I would start seeing that.

So we kept at it, and she was absolutely right. By the time the class wrapped up in June, DD was doing great at sitting with me like everyone else, singing the greeting song and doing the routine.

This past September, we started 3 year old preschool, as well as a gymnastics class for 2 - 3 year olds - DD had been 3 for a month. She's done fantastic in preschool without Mommy there, knows the whole routine and follows it to a T (it helps that she has the same teacher and she is AMAZING with kids that age!). During the first gymnastics class, DD just wanted to run all over, do what she wanted to do, and it took some wrangling and redirection on my part to keep her focused on what the coach was having the kids do - but again, the coach deals with kids this age all the time and many of the instructors there have degrees in early childhood education, so they know that some kids are just like that at that age. After a few classes, DD got much better at, again, following the routine and what the coach was having them work on at that moment. Now DD has been moved up to the next class, where the parent does not stay with the child, and she's done great so far (I think she actually listens to the coach and her teacher in school better than she listens to me when I am there telling her the exact same things!)

So don't sweat it. At least, I wouldn't. I've seen it for myself what a huge difference there is in kids that are barely 2, and those that are 3 and 3.5 and their ability to listen and follow directions. And it takes a special kind of person to keep these little ones engaged and willing to do what is asked of them in a group setting. If you are concerned about the TV, by all means, start limiting it- even if the TV has nothing to do with it, he will be better off in the long run with less TV in his life for numerous other reasons. But otherwise I would say hang in there, and if you are thinking you want to do something like the tumbling again at a later date, wait until he is 2.5 or closer to 3 and try again. And maybe think about doing it somewhere else. Once I took my DD to toddler story time at the library when she was 2 and all she wanted to do was run around with the other kids, but the person leading story time was a complete bore and appeared annoyed that some kids were having fun with each other rather than sitting quietly listening to the stories and the music she played (which did not include any dancing or movement at all!). I have not been back since.

It is ridiculous to expect a 2 year old to get through a "structured" class!
He's TWO! You're fine, he's fine.
Plus the instructor sounds like a real tool.

If this was his first time being around a "structured" activity, it makes sense to me that he wasn't sure what to do.
Don't pick yourself apart about it. You took him somewhere with all kinds of neato things and he wanted to check it all out.
It might take some patience and a time or two for these things to settle down.
You could always call the instructor and talk with her. She deals with first timers all the time, would be my guess.
If you sign up for something in the future, ask questions beforehand. Let them know your little guy is just getting in the swing of these things. They should be able to help with tips and showing some patience.

Really, little kids under two don't have great attention spans and it takes practice to learn skills.

Best wishes.

It's true that various parenting styles can mesh or clash with individual children's native "style." And child development experts now believe that television is a no-no for kids under two, and should be extremely limited for older toddlers, because it does mess with their little brains and attention spans, and it limits their ability to imagine their own stories and mental pictures, so it's good you're asking these questions while your guy is still a "little."

Some 2yo's take to structured activity and can sit still, if needed, for maybe 10-15 minutes at a time. Some simply can't. I don't think my grandson could until he was around 4 unless he was really tired, or had chosen the focus of the moment for himself. But he was/is a great kid, generally involved and cooperative in spite of the occasional juvenile meltdown.

Does your son take general direction well? Will he take your hand crossing streets when you tell him to? Come when you call? Pay attention if you tell him no? Does he communicate clearly, with words and gestures? Can he stay focused on activities of his choosing?

You only give this one example, so it's really hard to give much specific feedback. But let me give you my list of favorite tips for working with this age group. In spite of plenty of behavior that runs contrary to what Mom and Dad want, your son is not "trying" to be naughty. Children truly don't want to cause problems or get in trouble if they have any other way at all to meet their own growing need for autonomy, independence, and control of their circumstances.

We busy, over-scheduled grownups want everything to flow according to our adult expectations, and have a lifetime of practice learning how to make that work. Your toddler doesn't know any of that yet, and he will probably have a couple more years in which he just won't see very much from your point of view. He can't help it. Dawdling, digging in heels, and even tantrums are a natural outcome of becoming more frustrated than he's able to endure. Occasional stresses like travel and changing schedules, or illness, or any major change, may contribute.

Though your toddler won't ever behave like an adult and make all the choices you would make, there are tried and true methods for eliminating much of the mutual frustration the two of you will experience during the next couple of years. While some steps require a bit of advance planning or extra patience from you, overall, you'll spend less time and energy than you would if dealing with behavior that isn't evolving in a positive direction.

1. When he wants something, empathize, big time, and in the child's language. I love the advice of Dr. Harvey Karp on how to get on a tantruming toddler's wavelength in this and several related videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KnVPUdEgQ&feature=re... . Once your little guy realizes you do care about what he wants, he's more likely to be able to calm down and cooperate with what you need from him. And there are lots of positive ways to approach this, rather than just saying no. They hear NO! so often, and they can be so frustrated. So look for ways of finding a mutual "yes," and save "no" for those occasions when children are trying something dangerous.

2. Keep it playful, and keep it respectful. Children learn primarily through play and imitation. You may need help with this if your parents didn't model a lighthearted and kind approach when you were little. The book Playful Parenting is a great resource. Your son's sense of humor is developing, crude though it may be.

There will also be times when you must have cooperation, like diapering or trips to the store, so keep a special toy or distraction that he gets to play with only at those times.

3. Here's a big one: give advance notice when you'll want him to be doing anything differently, especially when he's grooving on some activity/play. Children absolutely hate unexpected transitions. With my grandson, we let him know at least a couple of times that a change is coming ("We're going to go to the store / have lunch / take a nap pretty soon." … and then a second alert a minute before making the change.)

4. Whatever the next activity is, make it sound as desirable as possible. Give some detail about the ride in the car, or a favorite food at lunch, or sweet snuggles before nap. Be positive and enthusiastic. And be calm. Desperation will show, and even though he's too young to deliberately engage in a planned power struggle, he will quite naturally sense any cracks in your resolve. And this is where future power struggles truly can begin.

5. Try to keep demands low when he's tired, over-managed, hungry, or sick. He won't have any emotional reserves left with which to cooperate.

6. Get to know his most likely trouble-spots, and plan ahead. For many kids, it's when they want some tempting object or food they've seen. So keep those things out of sight when possible. Be prepared with a distraction – for example, another toy he likes when you have to take ______ away, or a healthy treat when he wants a junky snack. Laughter, introducing a new game, a few twirls and bounces, hugs or tickles, a goofy song, can help break into his determination to get something he wants (that short attention span is both a curse and a blessing).

7. Avoid bribes, but let him work toward occasional rewards. Don't try to buy cooperation with "IF you'll do X, we'll let you have Y." Instead, phrase it as if he gets to assist in advancing something good for himself: "Hey, as soon as you help me get X done, then we get to do Y." It sounds like a small distinction, but it's important. It gives the child a chance to cooperate in what feels like choice, even when there's no "if" about it.

8. Be sure he gets lots and lots of physical activity during the day. Time outdoors in nature is calming for most children. If she has pent-up energy, it will have to come out some way, and unless channeled in a positive direction, it will likely to add to both your stress and hers. And limit TV time – the passive receptivity to all that fast editing seriously interferes with children's normal brainwave patterns, making focus and engagement in the "real" world more difficult.

9. Whatever you are trying to teach will need to be repeated hundreds of times over the next few years. That's completely normal. Attention spans and impulse control are extremely limited in toddlers. (Look at your parenting contract, and you'll find it in microscopically-tiny print under "I agree to the following terms and sacrifices.")

In your case, I would add LIMIT TV and read to him, short books that can help him develop his imagination. When he does watch, maybe up to one hour per day max, try to interact with him, making comments about the show and asking him questions to deepen and enrich his total experience. And talk to him about everything you do, explaining what this is and how it works, why you are doing that, what's coming next, and how you are feeling.

Spanking and time-outs don't work for every kid, and will sometimes actually backfire over time. Especially with spanking: children may be scared, shocked, or shamed into compliance, but behaving for the sake of avoiding pain isn't the same thing as developing an internalized sense of "good." Consistent, calm guidance and modeling what you DO want from him will work better in the long run than punishing for what you DON'T want him to do. See more on this by googling The Science of Parenting or Emotion Coaching.

I wish you both well. Pay attention to what you love and appreciate about your son, and make sure he knows. Treat him with calm and respectful authority. Children crave attention and approval, and if he knows you're noticing his good moments, he'll try to create more of them.

Give yourself a break Mama!!

A two year old boy in a new environment with balls in sight and trampolines!!! What FUN! He was probably so excited he couldn't begin to control himself... AND perfectly normal.

I'd find a class where the instructor is more understanding of two year old behavior and try again. He might still act this way the first several time until he gets used to the routine.

Have fun with him!:)

I have soooo been there! I understand how you feel, I felt the same way with my first child (a boy). I have 4 kids now, and I finally can give a different point of veiw (instead of thinking something must be wrong with my kid). :)

When my son was 2yrs I brought him to a Gymborree art class. All the kids (girls, but not saying girls don't do this too) were sitting their painting nicely and my son was running around and when he finally decided to paint he decided his hands were much better then the paint brush. I was mortified! :) Now, it just makes me laugh...

Here is what I've learned after 4 kids; some kids enjoy those structured classes and thrive. My 6 yr old was great at those classes at an early age. Some kids would rather run around and just be 2, 3, 4, 5, ect.. years old. I have two kids like that too. I have a 3.5 yr old right now, and she doesn't want to do swim class or gymnastics, because she would rather play at the water fountain and run up and down the hallways. That is normal!!! Instead of structured classes, I bring her to the park, or a bouncy place and let her run, and jump to her hearts contant! It's cheaper too! :)

So my advise, is let your son enjoy running around. Maybe he will be a runner someday. ;) All joking aside. he's a normal, wonderful 2 year old boy! Your doing a great job!

This totally depends on the amount of structure you have rehearsed with him. None of those kids were acting that way at 2 years old if it was the first class they ever went to, unless they are practicing at home with how to be focused and respond to their parents directions. Or maybe one or two were naturally zen kids-but that's way more rare than your son's (or my kid's) personalities.
If you are interested in getting him to behave like that, you have to work at it. My extended family (not me, my kids are not quite as well trained) can have all their kids under two sit through long church services quietly and contently. This is from teaching to be focused with praise and consequences from infancy. My kids are way more rough around the edges due to the fact that I'm less structured and diligent with discipline, but we could do the structured classes or difficult errands at 2 after lots of work especially my 3rd terror who only wanted to angrily shriek all the time and hit and kick, it took work, but we got there, and at 18 months I can take her anywhere.

Don't feel bad if you thought you could just show up and he'd participate. It doesn't really work that way for anyone. As for removing him hitting and screaming, he is old enough to discipline for tantrums if that's your style. Don't be afraid that you have permanently damaged him with TV (but by all means, shut off the tube and do some more interacting inclusive of discpline) or that his personality is "naturally unfocused". All kids are naturally unfocused at 2.

If you want to reign him in enough to participate in things like that, just start to work with him and discipline him, but don't worry, nothing is wrong with him. It's perfectly acceptable today for people to believe kids can't behave at this age it's so common for them not to. I'm actually shocked you found a whole class of calm 2 year olds, mine were usually the only ones behaving at those so we got sick of going. Heck, my older daughters daycare was packed with kids where 4 was definitely the new 2 and they weren't much better.

Here's a great resource for you if you want to go the well behaved route. And remember, it takes practice, it takes hard times, to get to better times. Hang in there. There were plenty of tear producing (for me) "incidents" I had to get through before I had the 3 well behaved kids I have now. But that includes my young ex terror, so it can be done!
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com

It is his personality--that sounds very structured for a toddler physical activity class. Find something more active for him where they let the kids run around for a while at first--they NEED it! Please don't feel like there is ANYTHING wrong with you OR your son!! And never let people's dirty looks get you down, there will always be scowlers out there. I can hardly imagine my 4 year old even starting out with that without first having a good run around the room, and there is NOTHING wrong with him, he is just an active boy. Sorry you had an unpleasant experience...go do something fun with him somewhere else so you both feel better.

My oldest would do everything someone said, but he's unusual, especially at 18 months old. VERY COMPLIANT.

My 2nd is now almost 5 and he STILL hates people telling him what he should do. We started going to a community "gym" class and I told him that this is not free play and he HAS to do what the teacher says if he wants to go again. He agreed. He's also the kid who really wanted to do Taekwondo like his older brother (who is now 8 years old). Once we got him suited up, he watched everyone else stretch and then ran over to me and said, "Mom, I just want to kick the target and play tag." I explained that a class doesn't work that way.

Our almost 3 year old daughter is somewhere between the 2 of them.

PS I hate Mommy and Me classes....on so many levels. And we noticed that if we allowed more than 30 minutes of Tv each day, none of them had ANY attention span....no any imagination....so we cut the TV off for months and then started allowing it only on the weekends.

I have been there! My son was always the one child who would not cooperate or follow the structured routine. We did four 12 week sessions of gymnastics where he refused to participate with the structured portion of the class and jumped/ran like a madman the entire time. This class was mostly free play anyway, and I payed the same as everyone else. What was more concerning was when we tried kindermusic, and he was a handful in a much smaller room. His shenanigans were much more disruptive to the class, and of course stressful for me. Everytime we were to hold hands in a large circle and dance and sing 'round and 'round, DS would turn in to a snake and slither on his belly while hissing right in the line up. We all had to step over him, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. He has always been very headstrong. Now he is almost five and doing very well. It's always an adjustment period when we start something new, but he is a joy. Try something less structured until he is a bit older, and don't be too hard on yourself or him!

Girl! Don't take it personally. So you have a spirited son. I have 4 kids and some of them are listeners and pleasers and some of them are holy terrors and I wouldn't be caught dead bringing them to something like that.

Basically here is what I do. I set up play dates at the park or at our house and do fun and very informal things. Although some of my kids handle the formal events like the tumbling class well I cannot trust the others. Make sense? So, in short, we just avoid the whole comparison, structured, dirty look events all together.

My kids are great and the ones that are in school are thriving and behave perfectly even though they didn't do a tumbling class as a toddler. Just do what works for the two of you. I don't think it's your parenting, it is just who your son is. So what if he isn't the structured type, he has healthy curiosity and is probably very smart and creative. I wouldn't try to structure that as a toddler. He will learn when to be structured and when not to be when he gets a little older.

Good luck.

He sounds like a normal (almost) 2 year old to me!! The worst part about this whole scenario is that the instructor made you feel bad! I would bet the other kids were probably a bit older or at the very least have been going there long enough to get the routine. I would find a class with a more clued-in instructor! It's normal for him to want to run after the balls and quite frankly she should have let him! I get that you want to start putting him in more structured environments and I think you should, but you have to find the right fit. Here's something to make you feel better, hopefully...I take my daughter, 3, and son, 16 months to a music class. My daughter LOVES it and participates fully. My son runs around like a crazy person trying to hug people, get into the stuff the teacher put away and generally create havoc. I felt so embarassed after the first class I almost never came back! I talked to the teacher and she reassured me it was just fine...that he didn't have to do what they did, etc. We've been going a couple of months now and he loves it! He still runs around more than the other kids BUT he's also started particpating more! He doesn't cry when the instruments get put away anymore and he sits down for the story, etc. So, there is hope! Just keep on keeping on and remember that he's acting his age! :)

He's very young and that is very appropriate behavior for his age...and it is AWFUL to go through as a parent thinking it is something you did wrong....Been there! There are times when my daughter does and says things that are so out of character for her and it is ALWAYS when we are in public! I got so upset once when out with my parents until they looked at me and told me the truth: I did the same things! How shocked was I???? I thought my daughter was the ONLY one acting this way and thought it was all my fault....Nope, just the age....Best way to fight it is to be strong in your discipline (whatever that is...time out....etc) and let your son know the expectations and do not change expectations for tantrums or fits....You are the parent and he needs to know that....but even with all that in place, your limits will be pushed and you will have times when he does things that seem so ridiculous! The joys of being a parent! :)

Sounds exactly like how my son was when he was 2! I went to a parenting workshop a couple of months ago and one of the most important things I walked away with is this: we are NOT responsible for how are children act. We are, however, responsible for correcting their behavior as appropriate. From what you described, it sounds like the class wasn't well suited for his age group. From his standpoint, the gym should be a free for all - how frustrating it must have been for him not to be able to explore at will and not understand why he couldn't! To echo other mamas I would find a class that is more free form or an open gymnastics place if you want him to have the experience.

As for beating yourself up - DON'T! When my oldest was around 17 months until he was just over 2 he would throw huge random fits in public - normal temper tantrums for his age - and to deal with it, I would pretend to be his nanny. It was amazing to see people go from giving me super dirty looks to looks of sympathy when I would say to him, "what would your mama think to see you acting this way?" LOL of course he didn't understand any of it and it really helped ME deal with the embarrassment and guilt over not being able to stop his screaming! Even if I didn't say anything aloud and just told myself to pretend he was someone else's child, it allowed me to take a breath and reevaluate the situation - to step outside myself so to speak. Anyway, hope that makes sense and BIG HUGS!

I don't really have any advice, but I have to say he sounds a lot like my daughter, also 2. She's always had a mind of her own and will want to do the complete opposite of what I would like her to do. I really think some kids are just born with that kind of personality... don't worry, maybe he just needs a different type of class, or some free time at the park! At least he wasn't hurting other kids, my daughter went through a really long phase of that, and she is just getting through it now... thank god!

My older daughter was very compliant, like those other kids you saw at gymnastics. My younger daughter, though, was just like yours. Strong willed, not wanting to sit or pay attention, always running, etc. She just took longer to mature. I don't quite remember, but I know we were well past age 3 when she finally settled down at gymnastics, or anywhere else for that matter.

She's 13 now and is a normal, happy kid. She was just very defiant as a toddler. No need to be embarrassed about your son. He'll be fine soon enough.

As the mother of 5 children, I have often said I wished I could send them to baby boot camp when they were 2... as the baby years go, it is seriously the most difficult. I also learned, as you have, that classes at that age aren't the best idea unless it's a free-form, roll around type class where it doesn't matter if your kid isn't listening. They get so much better by 3 and even better at 4. This too, shall pass. :) Good luck!! Happy mothering!!

Read a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic." And know you aren't alone. My first is the same way whereas my second is more compliant and happy to go along with the group. It is personality and it's ok. With that said TV doesn't help behavior for my first child AT ALL. I drastically limit their TV because it seems to lead to fits and overall bad behavior for my first child. She is 4 now and I still struggle to do some things with her. Reading circle at library? Disaster. However she really excelled at Little Gym doing gymnastics with a small group. When he gets to be around 3 yrs old put him in something like gymnastics where he is in a small group and expected to go along with the group. He will learn.

My oldest couldn't sit still like that at 2. He's 6 and he does well in most settings now.

My now 2 year old can't do so in most settings either.

Sounds like a typical little boy to me, more interested in playing and exploring a new playground, rather than subcumbing to the wanna be structure. Possibly the place was a bit to stimulating for him, with all those balls and a maybe new to him----trampolines.
Possibly the instructor did or does not realize that the environment she has set up, maybe too stimulating for some kids, and that possibly those tranquil bonding stretching moments would be better if they occured away from all the potential distracting toys! He is only 2, not 4-5.

.

Hi,
It was his first time, you have to keep trying.

Some kids like it structured and some don't at this age. No biggie mom.
In time things will change as he gets older.
I thought all children where like my oldest son until my 2nd son came into the picture. Very different and doesn't like the same things at all.
Also I think it's quite normal behavior for a two year old. I used to teach pre school and would peek in the two's class. Most of the time was spent free play, not much sit down and pay attention time at all. They would be lucky to get them to sit still and listen to a story or two! lol
Sorry the instructor made you feel so bad. Always someone out there to pick on that soft spot in the back of you mind that tries to tell you maybe your not doing a good job of being a mommy. Phewy.
As for watching TV, well it's always easy to watch too much but more important is what he is watching. Soft preschool shows without much activity or stimulation should be fine.
But I would nip that hitting you thing in the bud. Zero tolerance in that department, he's going to get bigger you know. Got to get in there now while he's small ;)
Take a breath. Your doing fine :)
C.

I'm so sorry the instructor gave you a dirty look.

I also felt concerned after attending an intro tumbling class. (at Little Gym, but I have to say it was great, not too structured, I was just amazed that the kids were waiting in line so well). What I realized after I went home was that some of the kids were a good 6 mos to a year older than my son and that after taking a 5 month class (the semester was just ending), I might be able to expect my son to wait in line too. This was the only class offered that had such a big age range and I think it just existed to encompass the few kids who start the class near 2.5 years.

When I read your post I could completely understand how you would get upset after your class, not because you have done something wrong, but because you are a concerned parent and the instructor was a bit uptight. That is a situation ripe for comparisons. How do you feel your son does in other situations? And cut yourself a break, it takes time for a kid to learn new skills.

There are classes out there for every kid. I know my friend ended up giving up on tumbling classes because her daughter could not stay focused, but about a year later, her daughter did really well in dance class.

HTH

Oh that sounds awful. I think it is just your son's curious nature and age. We go to a music class at the library and a lot of the younger kids just wander around and as long as they are not hurting the other kids everyone is okay with it. It doesn't sound like that is an environment you want to be in.

This very much sounds like an indivisual personality thing and the real difficult part with classes like you are describing is that some of them definitely have a core group of kids who have been going for months and they all got the routine. Teachers who for some reason "have it in" for certain parents or kids do not make this any easier. It becomes easy to pick up on their feelings towards you and/or your kid and the more anxious you get about the less likely it is that the person will become nicer and softer towards you. Honestly some teachers of young kids suck when it comes to dealing with parents and some actually suck in dealing with people in general. I have been in your shoes before and for various reasons still get people who seem to treat me badly because of something about my kids behavior. I try not to worry about it and i try not to read too much into it. Since you did bring up the TV thing I would say that you should probably try to get him to get interested in things other than the TV even if you feel you need to use it to get other things accomplished. When my kids were that age we found other things for them to do like scribbling on scrap paper and looking at picture books. I think that helps just to cut down the high level of stimulation they may otherwise expect on a regular basis

Oh, good heavens, honey! Take a deep breath--have a drink--light a candle--take a bath....heck, do all of that at once....

Then, shortly, you should feel the tension fade away and the urge will overwhelm you....the urge to laugh hysterically....lol...

Honey, he's a little boy, not a little robot. Blessed be the child who does not do what everyone else does--that child will be a leader, not a follower.

We are all well trained to be good followers, but is that really what we want?

Besides, his attention span sounds very well developed--he wanted to play with the balls. I, personally, would rather bounce a ball around or jump on a trampoline than roll around on the floor. I mean, at his age he's already got the rolling thing down-pat, right? Is not your home his own private obstacle course, anyway?

Be proud, my dear, of your little boy for being adventuresome, bright and busy.

Be sad for the instructor who apparently has little patience, or knowledge of small children...or sense of humor for that matter!

Be glad that you tried something out, even if it didn't fit well for you and your son.

Be blessed and merry with your wonderful child!

I think you were right to leave because the instructor should have been more open and accepting of your child. Sheesh! He's 2!! Let him be 2, have fun, and play with balls if he wants. The demands on children are way too high at such an early age. Find another class someplace else that allows for the different temperments, and personalities of your child, and be proud you care so much about him!!
Good job!!
In my music class with my 2 year old boy, the children run around th eroom and play with whatever they want. My son happens to not relaly do that, but many of the children do, and it's totally fine. Most instructors are very accepting of differences in behavior at this age. It's totally NORMAL. In fact, in our music class there is one boy who is much older (based on his size) and he is constantly taking his clothes off. That is ok too. We are all ok with it.

You have a lot of responses, so hopefully I'm not repeating too much. Please don't beat yourself up. I tried one of those classes with my oldest when he was that age. I was SO frustrated and felt like an awful parent with a horrible child. He wouldn't sit, wouldn't listen to the teacher and I saw all these other kids following everything to a t. The teacher told me that it just takes time for the kids to understand whats going on and plus, he is a boy. (Not saying there aren't girls out there that are like this too.) The teacher encouraged me to sit in circle time, follow instructions and that eventually, he would follow my example. We did the class a couple more times and didn't go back. It wasn't worth it to me. We had much more fun at the park or play places. Now that he is 4, I would put him in something like that. He is much more focused and can follow directions. Now, I have never put his little brother in something like except for one time. It was a disaster too. Everyone is much happier just going to a park or a bouncy house place. Good luck and cut yourself some slack. It will get easier!!!!!

I skimmed through some of the other answers and most of them seem supportive and I really have no additional advice to give, however, I am wondering if the class was too structured?

Our local gymnastics group is great with the "little" ones. They have a class that we started when our daughter was 18 months that was offered over the summer and she really took to it so we have continued and now she is in a 3 to 5 YO group. For little ones like you are speaking about, it is better to have a specialized program where the expectation is that they are going to /somewhat/ participate. This means sitting for brief periods and being guided by Mom or Dad to participate/take turns/listen to directions and buildinging those basic skills that all kids are going to need.

As for getting your son to participate, you should have directly asked the instructor for advice on how to get your son engaged. Did that instructor have the correct credientials to be "teaching" a group that young? If so, they should have offered assistance. It is up to them to not only teach their craft to the kids but also help with these basics skills. At this stage, that is what you would be paying for.

Now, I am not saying that having a time out or ultimately leaving was a bad thing - kids need to learn consequences to their actions but, rewarding good behavior by being able to return is hard to teach with a single trial class. It was a new environment and your son was probably just learning the boundaries. It does not sound so horrible to me and quite normal for what I have witnessed (or had to do myself) in our own gymnastics class. We have all been there and all felt embarassed but alot of times it is more sympathy than pity or disgust. If you really want your son in this tumbling class, go for it and try again. Or find another location completely and be sure you do your research on the facility first.

Good luck.
~C.

B. i just want to give you a hug - this was me a year ago!! only my son was 3. i swear i had the EXACT same experience. my advice, (obviously), don't put him in the class - and WAIT. my son hated it and we kept going (i didn't get a free trail, i had to waste my money) and we kept going for a few weeks just to "make sure" - it was torture! now he is 4 1/2 and he is SUPER STOKED to be going to soccer class in a few weeks. just be patient - it might be him, might be the age, might be lots of things - but it's NOT just you! try to let it go - at least you didn't waste almost $100 like i did! :)

soooo odon't worry. at that age they wonder. my son was a wonderer. sometimes i think its more of a boy thing. i just try and have fun w/him. they can't learn to follow directions in a class until more like 2.5/3 in my opinion

Oh goodness he is only two years old. You are a perfectly fine mother and I cannot believe a person who is instructing a class of this age group would even be thinking of giving you dirty looks. Something wrong with her. Believe me you are a wonderful mom trying to get him involved. He simply isn't ready.

Oh gosh - both my kids are like yours. My son who is now 8, I basically could not put in ANY organized stuff like that, he actually got thrown out of gymnastics due to his behavior, couldn't follow the instructions, wanted to do his own thing. My daughter who is almost 3, is not quite as bad, but would certainly not sit in a circle and "stretch" for longer than about 3 seconds.
The amount of dirty looks I have had with both my kids is staggering.
The way I deal with it, is I only take them to things that they ask to be in. Like my son asked to go bowling, so we went, and he was fine - but if I put him in soccer, or baseball, or something "I" thought he might like, it wouldn't work. So wait until he expresses interest in something, don't push it. go to the park or something free instead lol

I did a toddler/parent gymnastics (well toddler gymnastics) class when my little girl was 20 months and the first two weeks she was rowdy but they do start to get more structured and listen more and get into the actual activities when they get used to it. She had her off on on days like all the other kids. Trust me, I was that embarrassed mom but they assured me it was normal. He won't be perfectly behaved but he will start to see the obstacle parts are fun too...BUT For the INSTRUCTOR to give you dirty looks, I would look for a different class... how rude! It is SO normal for children to act that way, especially when they first start, you'd think the instructor would know that. Don't think those parents didn't go through it, unless those kids are robots to their parents they probably went through some level of it too.

Like I said, I'd find another class with an instructor who just reassures you and encourages you like mine did. Not that I liked all the teachers (there were 3 that rotated by class) but they were all patient with the children and would just laugh it off and make you feel comfortable about it, not embarrassed.

It's his age. Not you :)

You are not alone and it is not your parenting. My son is almost 2 1/2 and he would not sit still for that long either! I take him every now and then to story time and other such structured activities to see if he's improved. It gets better as they get older. Especially since it was your first time to the class, he was excited to get around and explore...my son is the exact same way. Don't worry Mom! You're doing a great job :)

I didn't read all of your responses but I did read a few and sounds like you've got a lot of support. I just wanted to share my experience as I have had many such as yours: my son is now 4....he has always been high energy and high maintenance. I thought that by the age of 4 he'd be ready to start an activity. Due to some behavioral issues we thought karate would be a good start (someone from this place visited his daycare and he seemed interested).....we got there and all he would do is run around on the mats.....One of the owners left the adult class he was teaching to come over and tell my son how he needed to listen, etc. etc. Although me and my husband do a lot of this sort of talk as well I constantly feel judged by others. Anyway - we left the class (thankfully a free trial) and then were called back a number of times to see if we were going to enroll him!! umm, no, do you remember how he was and the looks we got?????
This class had been for 3-5 year olds so there were younger kids and older kids all standing in their rows doing what the instructor said - I, like you, question myself all of the time.......I have begun to just grow a thick skin!

He's not even two!! Stop worrying mom, you've done nothing wrong. He's normal and fine. Don't expect so much from a one year old.

Just wanted to chime in here even though its late. I took my barely 2 yr old son to a free trial gymboree class once and he and one other child were the only ones that werent participating. My son wanted to run and do his own thing while all the other kids were participating with what the teacher was saying. I felt embarassed and thought there was something wrong with my son, but theres not. Im going to try again and am planning on enrolling him in toddler soccer when hes 2.5--3. I hope it goes well!

Both of my kids would not sit for "toddler" activities around town, but I took them both anyway. They are both just very active kids. I think as your son gets older then he will get a longer attention span. He sounds very normal to me! In the last town we went to there was a toddler/preschool aged gymnastics program. It was very free form. If a child had a longer attention span the teachers would work with them to learn different moves. If they were a bundle of energy like my son they were allowed to just go jump on the trampolines, walk on the low bar with parent's help, etc. I gave up trying to take my son to "story hour" at the library bc he just would not sit still for the stories! I am guessing this is just your son's personality, but you should still take him to things and work with him and encourage him to follow what the teacher says. I would guess that as he gets older he will get better at that sort of thing.

I think three is the earliest to do anything truly structured. My daughter is one of the only ones who just cant stay on track when I take her to bible school class. I tied so hard to get her to participate in the activities. But its always her and maybe one or two others that just can't stay in their seats or even stay close to the action- they want to toys and tickets on the side lines.. On the bright side, you likely have a very energetic, curious, child who will surprise you in good ways too. Like being inventive, starting his own business (someday). I say don't sweat it. Try again when he is three, I think you'll have better luck.

Not yet two is a lot young to be sitting still for structured classes. I wouldn't stress too much about it. My son was in the 6th grade before he learned how to sit through a class. No, he's not ADD/ADHD, just VERY high energy. He'd rather run around and chase the balls and bounce on the trampoline, too!

As for the instructor's dirty looks, pffffft! I'd find a new place when the time comes because who wants a crabby instructor?!

If you feel he's watching too much tv, scale back his tv time. Substitute children's music or just the radio and teach him how to dance with you! The more ways you teach your son how to bleed off energy, the happier he'll be. My boys LOVED wiggling to the beat and doing their own tumbling to music from the moment they could walk/run.

It's all good. You're fine; he's fine.

:)

Oh. my. gosh. You poor thing! Where did you GO!?

If the instructor was giving you dirty looks, that's awful. I have gone to My Gym for about a year with my son and however kids act at any time, they are always totally accommodating.

First things first, a lot of children in these classes at these classes have been in them from a very early age and know the "routine". Two is a HARD age to try something super structured for the first time.

It's a good idea to try something structured to prepare him for school in the future and get him used to sharing and waiting turns, but you need to do that in a supportive environment. It sounds like you just went to a bad place.

I'd keep looking around but you have to remember one thing: you have to remain calm. This is as much an exercise in patience for you as it is for him.

Children (two year olds) will fight you if they feel they are being forced to do something. You need to try to master the art of making it his idea to participate and know when to not force the issue.

Call around and talk to instructors and explain your concurs ahead of time. Don't be intimidated by this experience. The best way to get over a bad experience is to replace it with a good one ASAP.

Also, you can check out your community center and see if there are toddler classes/activities. KEEP TRYING!

Finally, if you think he watches too much TV then try turning the TV off and play music in the background during the day...it really changes the feeling of your environment and feels less chaotic. I doubt, though, that's the issue with this class situation. It seems to be more likely that you have an active 2 year old boy and that is completely normal.

I took my 17 month old to one of these and the two and under kids all did their own thing. Maybe I could get my daughter to stand in the circle for a few seconds after her fifth time attending. Circle time at this age is not something they are expected to have interest in, espically being a childs first time seeing a fun area with all these neat things to play with! Our instructor made us feel at ease by saying it takes a few sessions for the younger kids to find interest in the more structured time. You son is acting appropriately. Your instructor on the other hand was not.

First of all, the fact that the instructor didn't approach your child is a good reason to consider taking him to a DIFFERENT place. If someone works with or around kids, they should know how and WHEN to step in! They should also have enough insight to help a parent or child out if they see or sense they are nervous or having a hard time. So my advice to you is to not think any more of it! :) Now you know that that activity/class is not for him and that is fine. Every child is different. You mentioned "watching too much tv". If you are concerned about it still, then getting him involved in a class/group or whatever where there is less structure might be a good idea. Remember a 2 year old has about a 2 minute attention span, if that. I commend you as a mom for taking the time to do an activity with him! :) The other thing I would say is next time speak up. Let them know your concerns how the instructor acted or DID NOT act with you and your child. Best of luck!

Just wanted to chime in...my son is one of those kids that will sit during activities, totally into whatever they're offering. My daughter on the other hand, who is 19 months, NOT happening! Don't worry about it - he's probably not watching too much tv and it's probably not your parenting style. I'm sure you're a fantastic mommy and this sounds more like just a toddler who is exploring their surroundings.

It was his first time there - the other kids have all had time to explore the balls and jump on the trampoline, probably many times. But he was just seeing all of those things for the first time. You've brought him somewhere new and cool - I think it's perfectly ok to let him explore a little bit, even if it's not what the rest of the class is doing, and let him get the fascination out of his system a little. Then you can slowly integrate him into the group... a little more each week. That being said, I would NOT want to participate in a class where the teacher is that unforgiving about a 2 year old not wanting to sit in her stupid circle. Find another place to go every week!!

But eventually the consistency of going and being with the group will start to stick with him - it's practice. Once he sees that the group is doing something fun, he'll get more out of it. Of course he might just be one of those kids that never sits for the whole time. One of those kids that realizes there's something out there beyond what everyone else is sitting and doing. Like my baby girl. I think if we just hang on through their childhoods though, these just might be the kids that change the world. ;)

Don't worry about it!! I feel for you because I have been there and done that. My son was three and in swimming lessons at the time. He was very scared of the water and the instructor was very young himself (maybe 15) and did nothing to help. I was upset because previous instructors had done things to help the youngsters to not be afraid of the water. I finished the class with him and nothing changed. My son's father lives in a condo so he got to go swimming a lot over the summer. He swims great now. He was six before he decided to give himself the structure that he needed to learn himself. Don't kick yourself too hard. Your son is just a baby and he knows what is best for him. I'm sorry the instructor acted put out because a lot of learning is done through playing!

He was acting just like his age, maybe some kids in his age group are unusually cooperative, maybe they've attended this class for months, or maybe they are a few months older. I think if a mom knows her child is very cooperative and enjoys structured activities they sign up for these classes, and if they suspect or have seen their kids are not ready they dont attend classes until their children are older/ But the best way to find out is to take a free trial class! so you did the right thing. I remember taking my older son at 2 1/2 to story time at the local library and he ran around in circles while everyone else sat quietly, I dont remember any dirty looks but I WAS embarrassed. my 2nd son would sit very quietly on my lap BUT it bugged me he wouldnt sing along or raise his hand or participate when it was appropriate. Personalities are different! He was OK in music and me classes but we didnt do gymnastic parent child class till he was closer to three! So try something different next time and try this class again when he is older but dont worry It's not how you parent! All three of my kids were Very different!