Is It Just the Hormones?

No, it's not your hormones. You have crappy friends. (Sorry to be blunt.) They are perfectly happy to dump work on you, but they can't be bothered to do something nice for you.

PLEASE, let go of your responsibilities now. What will happen is that all of a sudden, you'll end up in labor and they will say, "Why didn't you finish 'x'? We were counting on that. Well, can't you call people from the hospital? How about when the baby is asleep? I'm too busy, I can't do it for you!"

Then you will want to throw your bedpan at them.

No more handling, covering. No more. Turn over everything. And if one of your friends comes to see you, if you get ONE little chance to say it, no matter how little the chance, go ahead and SAY how disappointed you are that a shower wes mentioned, and then no one gave you one.

I really mean it.

Dawn

You're not wrong. Try telling one of your close friends how much a shower would mean to you, or your husband, if he's good at those things.

You've never had one, you deserve it.

My mother always tells me that after the first child it is not customary to do a shower for following children. Sometimes if you are having a different sex but still not typical.

I think that either you want to hint to a friend that you have never had a shower, maybe one of them might pick up on it and throw one, or tell your husband that you want to have a "Celebrate Baby" party after the baby is born. I did this with one of my children and it was the best celebration of all of them. Everybody brought gifts, oo'd and awe'd, and guys and girls could both come. I loved it.

I am with you, it would be nice to have a shower, but you can take control of the celebration of life and not look weird. Enjoy!

You can hope, and you can drop hints, but showers for third children are just not the tradition that showers for first babies are.

I don't think it has anything at all to do with what you contribute. It may just be that everyone assumes you had a shower with your first, since you lived elsewhere.

I would think most wouldn't be that commited to have a shower for someone expecting their 3rd child . You being a reliable member of these groups & someone they can count on , has nothing to do with the lack of shower. I'm sure many of these people will give you a gift after delivery. Who knows, maybe they have a suprise planned & that's why they keep asking if you're capable for some tasks.

I agree that the two are not related. But I WOULD go ahead and start saying "no" to some of what you have been doing. You need to scale back. When the baby comes, you will want and need that time for you and your family. And if anything at all unexpected happens before the baby arrives (including being early) it would be unfair of you to be "in the middle of" a project or something that might not be done properly due to your unexpected absence. So hand it all off now! For THEIR benefit! (wink wink--even though it is TRUE).

I do know some people who have been given showers for 3rd babies. Usually it is when the 3rd is much later than "normal".... like, more than 3 years in between the last child and the newest addition. I don't think it is particular to which child though, I think it is more whatever the accepted norm in your area is. Maybe they all had good intentions and everyone thought someone else would do it. Like volunteering for all the stuff YOU do....
Maybe you could slip in a mention here or there of wishing you hadn't disposed of ALL of your baby stuff from your other children...... But try not to be too disappointed. It isn't a reflection on YOU, just shows you more what THEY are like....

A shower doesn't have to be a surprise.Ask one of your good friends if they still intended to give you a shower as it would be fun.Sometimes showers are given after the baby is born so they can see the baby but otherwise ask your mom or sister or best friend as when one is pregnant a party like this is fun.Do it. Have Fun and Congratulations.

I would set up a sip and see after baby is born... sucks YOU would have to do the work, but at least everyone could come and see the new baby and you could get some fun gifts!
I had to throw my own for my 1st, so I get crappy friends. Everyone just assumed someone else was throwing me one. So basically I set up my own. As it was I got nothing that was helpful for the baby. Hubby and I had to buy EVERYTHING! Then when #2 came soon after #1, I knew there was no way someone would throw me one, even though baby #1 was using all the baby stuff and so we had to buy stuff for #2.
Just got to suck it up or make it happen....

You aren't wrong to hope for a shower but most people aren't going to think gee, we should throw a shower for her when it is your third child. You will probably get gifts after the baby is born but not an all out baby shower. I don't think a baby shower has anything or should have anything to do with what you do for the organizations to which you belong. In my mind, and likely the minds of the other organization members, they aren't connected.