I'm so sorry, and no it's not ok. I'm not really sure what to tell you, though, since I don't know your family. I told my husband yesterday "Would you please stop speaking so disrespectfully to us?" He didn't say anything. I thought he was going to blow up at me, but he didn't.
My husband gets on to my girls for using the same cuss words that he uses. I have trouble punishing them for repeating words they hear on a regular basis. He says they heard them on tv, and while that may be true for SOME of the words, they didn't say them until after daddy said them. I'm not ok with double standards (adults may say them but children may not.)
Definitely talk to him about how his anger and way of speaking affects you and your son and that in our society this is completely unacceptable.
I wouldn't leave him over this particular situation, but as I said I don't know your family and perhaps the situation as a whole should be evaluated. I do consider this kind of speech abusive. Getting husbands to understand that, though, can be difficult.
My husband is going through chemotherapy and is very sick from the cancer and the treatment. He's in a lot of pain all the time and it's like having the flu for 6 months. While I won't leave him, I do wish that a separation would be possible. My family thinks that's horrible, especially during this time, but I don't want the children to remember their father this way (the verbally abusive part) and I am miserable too. Unfortunately we can't financially afford to live apart so I'm just trying to make do the best I can. He may have to do radiation (which is a daily thing and is also painful and makes you sick) and more chemo. The cancer may return in a year in another place and warrant more treatment. I'm not agreeable to doing this again. We're only half finished and I can't imagine adding more to it. I'm not saying he was the perfect father/husband before chemo but since getting sick things have definitely escalated and he's been sick for 14 months and still has 3 more months of treatment AT LEAST. The thought of adding another round of 6-12 months of treatment is unbearable. I haven't decided what I'm going to do. People have suggested counseling but I don't see that happening.
Hugs and prayers,
S.