My child has been hitting a lot lately, and I don't hit him, so I'm wondering where he learned this from. He is 19 months old, and I'm assuming, beginning the "terrible two's". Just wondering if anyone else out there has this problem and any suggestions how to stop it!!
Thank you everyone, for your advice on the hitting! I started to give little Anthony time outs when he hits. I take his hand and say "do nice" or "gentle" and teach him how to touch nice instead of hitting. The hitting has calmed down A LOT! Thank you!!
Yes it is normal. At 19 months he has no words or skills to express frustration and anger and will lash out. I would hold his hand and tell him "NO HIT" hitting hurts and then redirect to something else. It will gradually get better as his verbal skills improve.
this is normal L.. My son is 2 years and 3 months, and he started hitting. I try not to hit back because he thinks it is a game. My daughter did the same thing. He will grow out of it. Sometimes this is their way of communicating. Just emphasize this is not nice (even though he may not know what u mean), but eventually it will slow down or stop.
Yes, it's normal. I have two children and they both did a bit of hitting. What I did was whenever they hit me or anyone, I would gently hold his hand in mine and give it a pop, and say "no hitting"--not to hurt them, but to discipline them, to show that what they did was wrong. At this age, they are very focused on cause and effect, so this is an easy thing to understand for them. At this age, they hit when they are happy or sad, so don't take it to heart when they do hit. As they get older you may have to intensify it to get their attention, but again, not to hurt.
yes...totally normal...just remember actions are easier for lil ones...just like they clap when they're happy, they hit/stomp/bite...when they're angry...I suggest giving your child more words to express himself when these things happen..."oh, that made you angry..." labeling how they feel helps them understand how to handle it better...it's alright to get upset, but it's never okay to hurt somebody...give him ways to express his feelings in a way that isn't hurtful..and he will outgrow this in time to start rolling his eyes and give you the "huffy" breath in no time :) just teasing!!
Hitting and even biting at this age are normal; they're just not acceptable. Does your son hit when he's angry? Then he's physically expressing himself because he still doesn't have the skills to express himself verbally. Does he hit when he's playing? He may simply believe it's part of the game and has no idea it's improper.
Your son could have learned this behavior from any number of places or just figured it out on his own. Does he socialize with other children in settings besides daycare (playgroups or Mommy and Me classes, for example)? Does he watch TV in your absence (for example, do you ever leave him at a grandparents' house while you run errands)? It's easy to control what he watches at home, not so much in someone else's.
The best way to get him to stop is through role modeling and positive reinforcement. Reprimand your son gently but firmly when he does hit, then show him acceptable alternatives for expressing negative emotions as well as how to play nicely. Praise and reward him when he does behave properly. Kids' attention spans at this age are nil, so you'll have to remind your son several times before it finally sinks in, but the rewards of having a child who's pleasant to have around are well worth the effort.
Very normal. I tell my toddler (18 months), "No no, we do GENTLE TOUCHES," take her hands, and use them to stroke my arm gently. Now if I see her start to hit I say "gentle touches!" and she stops immediately, looks at me and strokes whatever it was she was about to hit, and I praise her enthusiastically with hugs and kisses. My older daughter is 3 now and I've expanded it to a more complex thought--I tell her that in our family, we treat people gently and with respect, and that it is okay to be mad/frustrated/whatever, but it is never okay to hurt someone. If she is still lashing out, I tell her she needs some space to calm down, and when she is ready to be gentle, she can rejoin the family (then I put her into a time out, but that's how I phrase it). That way, I feel like I'm teaching them a life skill, helping them learn to label their emotions and how to cope with them instead of just punishing them. Works for us, and my older one can now repeat our "Family Rule" of treating all people (and animals) "gently and with respect."
My daughter went through this, too. It drove us crazy! Here's how we handled it...
When she hits, we tell her that if she hits again she has to go to her crib. (Her crib is where we do time-outs, I'm told that that is bad, but it works for us and doesn't affect her real sleep at all.) She waits in her crib for 1-2 minutes, then we come back in. She has to tell us, "I'm sorry." If she refuses, We leave again, and come back in 1-2 minutes. She usually breaks down then if she hasn't already. Anyway, once she apologizes (we use that word with her), then we scoop her up and tell her that we love her and give her hugs and cuddles, then we talk about why she was put in "time out." She's 25 months now, and doesn't hit anymore.
I did find that when she was tired she was hitting more. You can keep a close eye on when the hitting is happening to see if your child is tired/hungry/frustrated, etc.
Hitting is very normal at this age and they just learn it on their own. They wave their little hands and happen to hit you, you react and they have a new game. Before he hits grab his hand and say no no. If he sneaks up on you and gets in a shot, SCREAM...act like he really hurt you, say ow ow and turn away from him. He doesnt really understand that hitting hurts. Or biting either, if you dont hit or bite him how would he know it hurts? So you have to react immediately with exaggerated pain so he understands. At first he might laugh, but if you are good enough actress, he will get the message.
When my little ones bit me I rushed to the band aids and put a big one on the bite, all the while sobbing. It works with baby pets too.
I was very concerned when my daughter was about 18 months and began hitting and becoming aggressive. I spoke to a few different child professionals (her day care teacher and a preschool teacher that we took a class with) and both told me that it was normal and that she would out grow it eventually. Well, she did. She is now over three and is not nearly as aggressive as when she was 18 months to 2.5 years. She still has her moments - but I just figure that is her personality and it will suit her as an adult when she becomes and investment banker and makes lots of money haha!
