Is He Having Nightmares?

3-5 yr olds often have nightmares and sometimes even night terrors. They are very imaginative and visual at this age. About all you can do is comfort them. During the day, however, be careful what images they receive. Avoid scary stuff if you can, though they are drawn to it - especially boys. On the other hand, there is something to be gained by helping them play or talk through situations they find scary. Historically, fairy tales and nursery rhymes are partly about this - helping children deal with fear. If there's adult talk or yelling going on, even if they don't understand it, this can cause them to imagine all sorts of awful things and kids always bring it back to themselves. Did I cause this? Am I bad? what's going to happen to me. Even seeing a disabled person, sometimes they wonder if that will happen to them if they're naughty. Lots of reassurance and explaining the world to them and accepting the fact that they like to play-act poweful characters and scenes is very helpful. My grandsom actually thought he WAS spiderman for a period of time and wouldn't answer to his own name. At 5, he's over that part now. If a child is afraid of an adult in their life, they may imagine situations where they can overpower some scary enemy. Boys used to play with toy soldiers. In my childhood, it was "cowboys and Indians". Today it's other stuff. Kids have fears and don't know how to deal with them. Empowering and explaining and comforting are the best ways to get them through it. You may or may not have any idea what triggers it. It may all be in their head or from a scene they saw in a movie last week. Just do the best you can. It will pass. Good for you for being so sensitive and not letting him cry it out alone, which so many parents do for their own convenience. That in itself is terrifying to a young child!

Has anything changed in routine since he found out hes going to be a brother? Is there been any yelling or fustration with him? Is there some type of friend or play mates that he could get into a confortation with? If not than I'd say something is bother ing him and somehow you need to get him to open up to you either with roll play with maybe gi I joes or with some type of toys he plays with. Or you might be able to talk about a dream you had and see if he will open with his. Maybe they are bad dreams if so if you can get him to open up you maybe able to ease him and things will be different for him. Good luck please keep us posted.

I have a 12 year old son that began having sleep issues around 3. Its the age that they begin to see themselves in relation to the rest of the world, and I think some get anxious. There are some relaxation scripts available that you can read to him before he sleeps. They helped my son stay asleep as well as fall asleep. The book was called Ready Set Relax. Its written for classrooms to get focus and calm kids, but with an ocean sounds CD and a slight adjustment to the ending, it worked for us for years. I'd watch for other signs of anxiety during the day. My son had/has anxiety issues.

I would look into his diet during the day. Is he eating alot of sugar...high fructose corn syrup (found in friut snacks), juice, lots of carbs? Sugar comes disguised in many ways in the typical foods that toddlers eat. The old wives tale about warm milk helping one sleep at night...it's the calcium in the milk that helps a system relax. Toddlers are full of surprises and it could just be a phase, he is still a baby and maybe he just wants his mom! We did co-sleeping for years. Our 3 girls were in and out of our bed or on the floor next to us. Everyone got the sleep needed and no one was crying! Another thing to try is when he wakes, don't talk to him. Love him up and comfort him but don't let it be private entertaining time in the middle of the night with mom. He just needs to know you are there. This will pass.

My situation was identical to yours about a year ago. I was pregnant, barely sleeping and he was up multiple times at night. He also would fight his naptime and wake up a lot earlier in the AM than usual. He would get crazy mid day b/c he was exhausted. It drove me nuts! I'm still not 100% sure what the deal was...but the good news is my baby is 8 months old and my son is just over 3 years old now and we all get to sleep peacefully through the night. We finally have him back on a nap in the afternoon too.

At the time, he was still getting used to his big boy bed, he was potty training and he was starting to understand that mommy was having another baby. I think he was very anxious, and had an overactive imagination. My best advice is to lead him back to his bed immediately...try not to talk to him or console him too much (b/c he will crave that attention even more). Don't turn on any lights either. Just get him into bed and maybe rub his back for a few seconds. He needs his sleep as much as you need your sleep. We tried to look at that rough patch as part of the sleep training. My son was never a great sleeper either...but the last few months have been the best yet (With TWO kids now!!). I also recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"...it has helped me in many tight spots. Good luck and hopefully you will get some rest soon!

I have 3 boys and I can count on my hands how many uninterrupted nights I've had in the last 9 years. My oldest finally grew out of this about 2 years. My youngest is 4...I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I only have couple of more years.

Having a "lovey" may help. Only my middle child adopted a "lovey" when he was a year old, his best friend, and he rarely gets up in the middle of the night. He's 7 now.

They are more conscious about sense of comfort. Something wakes them up in the middle of the night and they want comfort or a snuggle. It's worse when they are not feeling well or had a difficult day. My youngest has been waking up once an hour for the past 3 days...it's like having an infant again.

Good luck!

My guess is probably not. My 4 year old has done that for as long as I can remember. Of course we co-slept (gasp) so he was used to being in our room. Occasionally he will wander in in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with us. We don't mind since we hardly notice anyway. I think what happens with him is something wakes him up or he just naturally wakes up. He gets a little lonely and wanders on into our room. He's not crying or upset. I just think it's a natural thing for a child to be drawn to their parents in times of need or insecurity. Asking him a million questions may make it harder for your child to go back to sleep peacefully. Just tell him he's ok and walk him back to his bed. Think about how many times we, as adults, wake up at night! And as an added thought, he may be waking up because he has to potty!