J.M.
Hi C.:
As when your son was in your womb HE determined when he was ready for his birth. He determines psychologically when hes secure enough to stay alone in the dark,and when hes ready to give up the diapers, he will decide that as well.It would appear, that you've answered your own question here. You mentioned things were better, when you stayed with him,until he fell asleep. Now,because (YOU'VE) decided hes ready to give that comforting at night up,hes feeling less secure,and your all losing sleep over this. Unfortunately, you've caused him to feel more alienated,and frightened,by putting up a gate. If you lock him in,it will create even more anguish. He already feels you've both abandoned him.I'm afraid you've taken two steps back,as a result of your being eager in his accepting his new room. You can correct this, by going back to comforting him,and letting him know your there for him. You were so close to him doing this all on his own. He was satisfied with you being there till he fell asleep,It will now take a little time for him to feel secure again. Raising our children,watching them progress and go through all their different stages,is all trial and error. If one way doesn't work you try something different. It takes alot of patience love and nurturing,but give him the time he requires to mature. He's only a toddler for a short time,and your comfort and understanding will benifit and remain with him for ever. I wish you and your darlin boy the best. J. M