Invite Question

it is totally appropriate to ask the mom-to-be who she wants invited. All families are different and it is her shower so you should feel okay in asking her. Good luck and have fun.

I don't think you need to invite them. They are throwing her a shower of their own as well. It's a great time to get together with just the girlfriends. Nothing wrong with different groups of people, different parties.

Hi M.,

I think it would be polite to invite the mom-to-be's Mom and sisters, especially if they live near by. Not only are they wanting to share the happy time with her, they could also help her get the gifts home.

If your friend is a co-worker and this is an 'office' shower (meaning only co-workers will be there), then there's no need to invite the mom & sisters. Otherwise, I kind of think you're obligated to extend the invitation... You can just say something along the lines of "I know you're planning on throwing so-and-so a shower as well, but you're welcome to attend the one I'm having" or something like that. Then again, if you've never met the girl's family, I wouldn't bother inviting them. Especially since they're having their own party for her.

I am close with my family and I would want my mom and sisters invited to all events. I can't say whether or not it would be expected because in my opinion, throwing a shower for a friend would already exceed expectations. It's a very generous thing to do. But, it would be very thoughtful and I would suggest that you include them.

I would say yes my mom was invited to all my weddig and baby showers. Plus they can be responsible for getting her and the gifts home.

J.

I think the best thing to do would be to ask the mom-to-be! She'll let you know the best course of action (unless it's a surprise, of course). If it's a surprise, I'd say go ahead and invite them. If she's close with her mom, I'm sure her mom would like to be included in all aspects of this new baby!!

If this is her only baby shower, then yes, I would invite the family. But they may be having one for her with the rest of her family, so then I would just do a girlfriends party. You will probably need to ask her what her family has planned.

My sister's friends had a baby shower for her and my mom and I did not get invited. We were hurt. You should invite them.

I would absolutely invite them. They can always decline if they want to . It's better to always invite someone you are uncertain about than to hurt someone's feelings. Have fun !

what do you think she would want??? I love my mother but sometimes it can be nice to have a party with just the girlfriends. This is really about her and not them so maybe she would have fun just the girls, you know? I wouldn't say it's EXPECTED. I hate that anyway..."expectations" end up turning something fun into an obligation. I say to hell with expectations and do what you think she would enjoy most. If she would be disappointed not to have her mother, etc at your shower then maybe think about inviting them...if you really think she would enjoy the "friend only" get together then opt for that. You said her family is throwing her a shower too so they will get to celebrate with her there. Good Luck!

I would ask the Mom-to-be. If they are having a shower for her you could say it that way....We know you are having a shower with your family, but did you want to include your mom and sis in ours also? If the family is close, this may be a really big deal for grandma and aunt-to-be also and they might really want to come and enjoy the experience and be very glad you included them...it is a nice idea to include them.

That is so nice that you are throwing a baby shower for your friend! You don't say if it a surprise party and if it's not, then I would ask the expectant mom-friend for feedback. If it is a surprise, I probably would invite the Grandma-to-be and Aunt-to-be, especially if she is close to them. If it's a whole girlfriend thing then, no, I wouldn't invite them. Not quite the definitive answer you were looking for but....it's probably one of those things that you want to question and get right if you are going to be in this babies' life for a while. Good luck!

Whether or not it's expected really depends on the family. I know in my family, my mom did not expect to be invited to the shower my friends from school had for me. I don't have sisters. My husband's family, however, always invites everyone to everything. So, when my MIL found out my friends didn't invite her or my husband's sister to this shower, she was livid. It caused a great deal of stress for me. I did not know she was going to react that way or I would have asked my friends to invite her. So, it is probably best to check with your friend to make sure you aren't inadvertantly causing any family drama. In my case it wouldn't have helped since I had no idea that my ILs would be so upset. But it might save your friend from having to ask you if it's ok to invite her family.

Even though they are having a family shower, you should invite them. I think she would like having them there so they could meet her friends (if they don't know some of them) and so she can share the experience with them. Since they are all close, I bet they'd really enjoy taking part in anything to prepare for the new baby. I think they would love to see her opening her new baby things also and her reaction to everything. They could always decline, but I think they'd be hurt if they weren't included and given the chance to come.

As long as it's not a surprise party, I would just ask the mom to be for a list of people she would like you to invite. When I was pregnant some of my friends from work threw a shower for me and they asked me for a list of names and addresses. That way I could invite all the important people in my life even if my work friends hadn't met them before. I ended up inviting my mom, sister, mother-in-law, husband's aunt, as well as friends from high school and college. It turned out to be a very special party for me because women from all aspects of my life were there. On the other hand, someone mentioned your friend might not be that close with her mom, mother-in-law, etc. Or maybe since her family is throwing her a shower she wants to keep this one just friends. So I would just ask what would make her happy.

Every family is different, so its difficlt to gauge what's "expected". (Personally, I would not)
I would simply address it head-on with the family. Tell them what you are planning to do, and ask them if they want to participate or not. Preface it that you don't want to step on toes, nor do you want anyone to feel excluded, but that you and your friends really want to have this shower for her in addition to theirs.

Absolutely especially if they are not planning a shower for her themselves.

Tough one. :) You are so kinds to throw her a shower.

At first read, I thought to invite the mother/sisters but just mom/sisters. However, is this just a girlfriends shower? Is your friend having another shower? If not, then perhaps invite the immediate family as well. If the shower isn't a surprise, I think it's okay to ask the mom-to-be on what she wants.

I don't think it is expected, they may be throwing their own family shower. I would ask her if she is having another shower and tell her that you thought of inviting her mother and sister. You can see what she says. I think it would be nice to invite them.

YES YES YES YES YES. I can't believe you would even have to ask this question!!! You are talking about the most important women in your friend's life....not to mention the grandmother and aunts of this little baby. My sister is expecting anytime now, she had 4 (yes 4) showers. One my mom and I threw, one my stepmother threw, one sis's MIL threw in another state, and one her friends threw. My mom was at every shower (I would have been too if I didn't live over 12 hours away - I only went to one)...Oh, and don't foget Daddy's mother. This event is just as important to the grandmothers as it is to mom...after all their babies are having a baby.

Do you know if the relatives are having a shower of their own? If this is the only shower your friend is having, you should invite the relatives. If not, it's ok to limit to the girlfriends, lots of people have multiple showers and sometimes you can do activities/presents with friends you cannot do with relatives there. It also depends on how touchy the relatives are. My in-laws are SUPER touchy. They didn't like my sister's handling of the guest list for my one-and-only baby shower and made a scene at the party itself - no fun. Etiquette has changed so much these days, I think it depends more on the factors involved than a set rule you have to follow. You can always just ask your friend (if it's a surprise just do a "hypotheical") and go by what she wants to do.
Good luck!

Hi M.,
My friends threw me a separate shower from my family shower and neither my mom or my MIL were invited. Since I would be seeing both of them at the family shower, no need to invite them to the friend one as well.
I've also been to a couple friend showers and there were no mom's at theirs either.
Hope this helps!
M.

I do not think it is necessary to invite her family. They are having a shower for her, and this one is a friends shower. I don't think it is rude, especially since you are not long time friends.

I'm from downstate Illinois and discovered when hosting a shower for a college friend that people in Cook county do things differently from us. That was over 10 years ago, and I've found out since then that shower etiquette is different everywhere. So what I would do is what was in my heart, heck with etiquette. I'd definitely invite the mom and sisters, then make a point of explaining I was hoping that wouldn't be odd for their family customs, but I thought the party wouldn't be as good without them.

Hi M.,

Regardless of whether an etiquette rule exists on this question, I think it is always best to include. Wouldn't you want to be invited if you were her mom or sister? They don't have to attend, but I'm sure they will be happy that you thought of them.

have a great time!
S. F.
mom of 2 big boys

No, it's up to the mother and sisters to have a family shower for her. It's nice enough that you're doing this when you're not all that close. Best friends do these things. You must be a very nice person. Don't be taken advantage of.

Hi; What a great question. I am having my first baby in November and a good friend of mine asked if she could throw me a baby shower, and so did my husbands aunt. My friend wanted to throw a friends shower and my husbands aunt wanted to throw a shower for his family. They decided to do the shower together but it left a lot of people who don't fall into either category wondering about a baby shower. So here's what I did, but again it's got it's flaws. We are inviting a few of my closest friends and my husbands family to the shower, then for other people who we see regularly but wouldn't fall into those categories I am responding to by saying you know my husbands family did a small shower for just the family, and my sister threw me a shower when we were in AK. No one offered to do a large shower so we won't be having one.

It's up to you how you do it, but I know that's what we ended up doing, and honestly I would have preferred for my friend and husbands aunt to have said make sure you invite everyone. It would have made my life easier.