Wow. This post has stirred up more emotions in my then I saw coming! I don't think you're being "just female" but I do think you lack the insight that comes from experience. We all live with the moments of clarity that help us see it's all worth it and how much our difficulties give to us. I usually find these to be moments. Maybe if I ever achieve some zen mastery they will be more than just moments. For now, most of my time is spent in the muck and mire of practicality. You can never begin to understand the fear,anger,pain,loneliness, and other difficult emotions that come with having a spouse with MS (or probably any debilitating/progressive disease) until you are in it. Nor the physical toll.
My husband has been deteriorating with MS and we have 2 small children. It is awful. He is devasted and often depressed and I try to hold the house, yard, kids, shopping, meals, entertainment, home improvements,and him (physically and emotionally) together. I frequently have to drive him places, clean up his bowel movements, try to pick him up off the floor when he falls, be supportive when he cries he would rather be dead. He usually can not be left alone with the kids, and there are enough times he can not be left alone himself. I'm not the equivalent of a single mom, because there are two of us, but I am frequently his nurse also. Did I even mention the financial worries? This hasn't been for weeks or months, but years.
Yes, there is always beauty and love and lessons to be found in any life to be lived. But if someone is seriously struggling with the idea of marrying someone with something like MS that is excellent! Because there is so much to consider and so much you will never know until you are in it. I'm sure it is different when it is your child with a disease. Your friend is seeing things differently than you and he has to. Should you share the story? Why not?!? It's a good thing. Sharing is different though, then advocating.
BTW Would I do it again with a glimpse of the knowledge I currently have? I think so. But, then again I could just as easily breathe a sigh of relief and walk away.