Insecure About Everything

Depression makes me feel angry about things. I am not myself. This reminds me of how I got when I was depressed. Yes, you are acting badly and it's not good to be lashing out at others when you feel critiqued. I suggest seeing the doctor and besides what they tell you also start seeing a therapist weekly to work through this. In the past you might have not found the right therapist for you...try someone different. No one deserves to be snapped at or yelled at like that when they ask you as simple question. You need to treat others with kindness and respect. I wish you luck!

ETA: Have you always been this "sensitive" or just after your child was born?

original

how old are you 18?? To be honest, you sound very immature as well as "over sensitive" - so what will I think will happen? You will get REALLY pissy in your SWH and flounce because people are telling you what you don't want to hear.

You need to find yourself. And that takes time and a lot of honest soul searching.

Does that mean counseling? Maybe.
Does it mean that you are bi-polar? Who knows!! We aren't doctor's here and cannot diagnose you. I'm sorry. I know that sounds mean. But it's true.

Does it mean you need to learn how to breathe and not "everything" and being "perfect" -

If you fiance thinks and states you are "sociopath" ?? This is NOT the man for you. I would break off the engagement and cancel any wedding with this dude.

Go to your doctor and get a blood work up done. If nothing is out of whack ? Ask for a referral to a counselor or therapist so that you can get your mood swings or temperament under control.

Good luck!!

Lookit, L., just that you're actually owning your own tendency to over-react shows you're one step ahead of a lot of other defensive, wildly sensitive people I know.

It's just a question of mapping out a formula to change that behavior, and sure, a therapist will help you with that.

But mostly, I like your post cuz, sure, we're all just bitchy sometimes. It's awesome you recognize it as just that. And possible just age will cure it.

Meanwhile, are you this open with your fiancee? Maybe he can help you with it, you know? Maybe the two of you can joke about it, then say, no really, we gotta work on this.

You're saying you don't want to be that person. I admire that. So ask for his help, during a time when there is no conflict. Maybe he can help build you up, so that you are not so traumatized when you get it wrong.

Personal change is hard. But I think you can do it.

:)

First off, having gone to counseling and found them not to have done you good makes me wonder...why? Are you resistant to what they have to say? Sometimes being sensitive and insecure can make a person defensive, and therefore makes any suggestions for change difficult. Counseling is a two way process. Of course you may not always like or agree with what the professional has to say but it's important for you to at least be OPEN and HEAR the advice being offered.
Secondly, the bottle issue. If your husband is giving the baby a bottle let HIM make it. Your involvement is completely unnecessary and just adds friction to the situation. He will not be able to criticize the way you are doing it if you are not doing it!
As far as your mom or anyone else asking you about your business, that's it, it's YOUR business. Maybe your mom is jusrt asking you a simple question, or maybe she's being a judgemental nag, I don't know. Either way a simple "I'm dealing with it" and change of subject to a different topic should be sufficient. There's no reason for you to explain yourself to anyone, you are an adult and it's your responsibility to take care of your business, not your mom's or anyone else's. This is where learning how to speak up for yourself and set clear boundaries is important.

Get professional counseling to help you sort through your feelings and the why of it all.

We don't know enough about you to really provide any lasting or tangible help beyond strongly recommending counseling.

You sound like you are not yourself. Be sure to see your doctor. Explain all of this.

I have been through exactly what you describe. There is help.

If this is recent development, I would see your ob/gyn. You may have a hormonal imbalance, post-pardem depression, or simply exhaustion from having a young baby in the house. Once physical ailments have been eliminated, see a therapist (your doctor should be able to recommend one).

Even if there is a physical cause and it is resolved, go to counseling. You and your fiance NEED to learn to communicate better. You can interview counselors til you find a good fit. Counselors are not one size fits all.

Please talk to your doctor about it.
It might be postpartum depression.
Being a new Mom can make you feel pretty insecure at least until you've settled in and are more confident about taking care of a helpless infant - and they are hard to figure out at first.
It was several (like 6) weeks after our son was born before I felt like we were going to be ok.
Those first 6 to 8 weeks was a lot of crying and very little sleep - my husband was an absolute angel - he even took us out at 2am for a drive around the airport because it was the only way child would stop crying for 30 min.
No one is born knowing how to be a parent.
You have a baby and it's an exhausting crash course - but you do eventually feel much more secure about it after awhile.

My husband and sister can both be like this. I didn't know I was marrying this dynamic - it wasn't fully manifested until I said "I do" - but I am sure he felt, um, "familiar" to me, since I grew up with it. And....it absolutely sucks to be on the receiving end - it implies we choose to be with you because we hate you, we want to make you the focus of our every action, and we enjoy hurting you. REALLY IT DOES.

What kind of person would make such a choice? Why do you think we became that kind of person as a result of loving you? It's nonsense, really, isn't it? Kudos to you for being emotionally mature enough to see that piece.

If you have not always been like this, I am guessing it's post pregnancy hormonal issues. If you have always been like this, it may be chemical/hard-wired. Either way meds and counseling may help. My sister is awesome when she's on anti-depressants (I don't think she's depressed, but whatever works). My husband hasn't been willing to try meds, but counseling has helped.

Good luck to you - don't give up. You have taken a big brave step in seeing that your behavior does not make sense.

ETA: This is my husband's 3rd counselor - the 1st accomplished nothing, the 2nd did more harm than good. This one is doing good. Remember any kind of doctor, and any kind of counselor works for YOU - if you find one isn't having a positive impact on what you are dealing with, move on.

You're doing this because you have no control somewhere in your life. You're taking control in the wrong place and acting out.

I suggest you sit down and think about what is making you so angry because you are super angry and it's eating you away inside. It comes out when you feel threatened and it's not always a real threat.

I think one thing you need to do is stop stopping what you're doing and making the baby a bottle. Tell boyfriend you are busy and he has 2 legs and can do it himself.

I also suggest that babies don't eat heated bottles anymore. That went out of fashion about 12-15 years ago so stop heating the bottles. Get some Nursery Water from Walmart, it is usually by the formula, and mix the powder or liquid with it at room temperature. Shake it up and DO NOT HEAT IT.

Once you figure out what's making you so angry you will be surprised at how much easier life is. You'll be able to be more assertive and stand up for yourself.

Yes, something is going wrong that you may not have self-identified.

Are you gaining weight? Happy with your significant other? Satisfied at work?