Infant Development When No Other Kids/babies Are Around

Updated on December 30, 2006
M.W. asks from Cincinnati, OH
13 answers

My daugther is almost 8 months old and my mother takes care of her full time during the day while I work. There are no other babies in my family, so she is the only baby around all adults all the time. I think this will remain the same until she enters pre-school in 3-4 years. Will this cause any social development issues? If so, is there anything I should be doing to help her develop socially with kids her age - and how often?

Thank you,
M.

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So What Happened?

I stopped worrying about it and my daughter plays great with other kids when we go to the park or church or visits with friends who have kids. That interation seems to be enough that she naturally learns how to play with others. She only "plays" with other kids once a week for a couple of hours, but socially interacts at the same level as all the other kids she's around. She's 17 months old now. If I notice a decline in social interaction around 4, I'll put in her preschool. Otherwise, I'll maintain taking her to play with other kids once a week and wait until kindergarden starts for her to be around other kids regularly. Thanks for all the advice and support, I felt much reassured and more confident in my choices.

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J.G.

answers from Dayton on

I wouldn't worry. She may be a little shy at first, but I think she'll be fine. My son is almost 3 and very rarely gets to play with other kids because he's not in daycare and there are no other kids around him on a regular basis. He's actually facinated with other kids and enjoys being around them. Amazingly enough I haven't had many problems with him sharing or anything either. I've been kinda suprised at that since he never has to share his toys, but he openly shares with other kids. BUT again, I don't think it's a worry.

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M.L.

answers from Cincinnati on

M.,
I agree with the other two comments before mine but I also wanted to add that a lot of it depends on your daughter personality. I would try getting her involved in storytime or something similiar, don't beat yourself up if your daughter doesn't respond the way you would like. My daughter is five now and very social but until she was four, she was very shy around people and new situations. I used to call her my little introvert (like her daddy) but now, I can't count all of her friends.

Good luck!!!
M.

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S.Q.

answers from Youngstown on

my daughter is 2 now, and has not been regularly exposed to other children either. and she is awesome around children and adults alike. as long as she is getting interaction from your mother during the day she is learning simple social skills.
i actually recently started worrying about the same thing as you and just to be on the safe side i began attending church every sunday and taking her to the nursery. the teachers say she is an angel and she plays great every time with the other kids.
maybe try taking her to a friends house a few times a month who has kids, or other relatives even if they are adults. just to get her to interact. and when the weather warms up and shes a little older, take her to a playground so she can see the other kids playing and maybe even join in..

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R.S.

answers from Cleveland on

I do not believe it will cause any damage...my daughter was alone until preschool and she is a social butterfly. However, you may want to have Grandma check out the local library for storytimes and activites for your daughter. Also, if you are anywhere near Avon, Playground World on Jaycox has free playtime from 10-11 am M,T,R,F. If you look, there are alot of options out there. Good Luck

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N.M.

answers from Youngstown on

Although family is best when it comes to care of your child, as time comes and she begins to grow you might want to look into a type of daycare center like 2 days a week even if just a few hours to get her socially ready to play with other kids and be able to cope with going to school with 'stranger' other than family. I have seen many times when children are really attached to family and struggle when it comes to the seperation of going to school or preschool... There are also libraries and churches to interact with other children, all depends on child..

Playmates as children are wonderful in a childs development..

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S.H.

answers from Columbus on

HI M.,
I was worried about the same thing There is no other children her age to interact with unless my 3 small cousians come over which is only about once a month. I am very lucky to be a stay at home mom with both of my parents together only down the street. Although she is only around adults I take the time to sit down and teach her skills she is extremly intelegent.But I was worried she wouldnt get the childhood part so I put her in Gymnastics for several months which really brought her out of her shyness alot cause she was pretty shy like me.

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M.H.

answers from Columbus on

You're so lucky that your mom lives close by and can watch your daughter! I'm so jealous! I would just suggest making sure that there are times every week where she is around someone other than close family, both adults and children. I would also say that although the park, library, etc. will be fun activities for you to do with your daughter, you should find something where you leave her and she gets to interact with kids AND listen to another adult. It doesn't necessarily need to be structured, like daycare, maybe just you and a friend trade off watching each other's kids for a couple of hours on Saturdays twice a month. And the more new people you can expose her to, the better.

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J.H.

answers from Columbus on

Hi M.,

Your daughter is very fortunate to get to spend so much quality time with her grandmother and you are lucky to have such a trustworthy (and probably very affordable) care giver. If you want your daughter to get exposure to other children for social reasons, consider a program like My Gym or Gymboree. They offer weekly developmental classes for different age groups. My Gym is more focused on gross motor skills (physical activity) and I believe Gymboree is more focused on things like music (cognitive activity). I know My Gym is approximately $120 for an eight-week session. They also offer free-play periods when your daughter can go and just play with the equipment which is great for burning off excess energy. They are especially nice during the winter when outdoor play is limited. One drawback is that I think they only accept children one year or older.

There are also Mommy & Me classes and free playgroups available. Those will take a little research to find. Perhaps you could check your local YMCA or even ask your pediatrician's office if they have any recommendations.

Any of these groups should start to teach your daughter to share, take turns, and generally take others into consideration. It will also make the transition to pre-school much easier when the time comes.

Hope I helped!

J.

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

M.,
I had the same concerns with my daughter, who is now 5-1/2 yrs. old, for the same reasons. She is my only biological child and her brother and sister are much older. Although she went to a sitter, most of the full time children were older until she was 3, when the sitter (luckily) got a few more children, all in her age group. That is when I noticed the change in her social skills with other kids.

My suggestion is, if possible, find a private sitter for her, preferably one with other children close to her age, that you can send her to either full time or a few days a week. I know a sitter may sound scary, but any good sitter will have years of experience and references that you can contact. Most times a private sitter is less expensive than a full time Day Care so that should help as well.
If a private sitter is not an option then once she gets a little older, look for programs at your local library (ours has a Story time) or with your city's Rec Department for things that you can get her involved in. Little Gym also offers lots of classes for different things, although they are a little pricy.
I hope my suggestions are of some help.
Good luck!
S.

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S.G.

answers from Cincinnati on

You should check your local YMCA as well. They offer some great mommy and me classes with lots of other moms and children and should group you with other children her age instead of the older children. And it is very affordable!

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J.W.

answers from Columbus on

I'd have to concur. My daughter stays with her grandparents during the day. But I take her to church every week and she gets a little interaction with kids, most older than her. But we've also taken her to some of the play areas at the mall. And until she could walk she mainly watched. And we just started taking her to some story times at the library. There are a lot of resources for kids who don't go to daycare to get some interaction with other kids. Oh and our little one is a little social butterfly. When the family is over she has to entertain everyone.

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M.F.

answers from Columbus on

Hello M. W! I had this same perdicament when my eldest child was an only child too. On my days off, usually the weekends, I would take my daughter to McDonald's Playland, to the park or to the library for social interaction. Even today she still loves going to these places. Her favorite place to visit now, is the library. She adores books and loves to interact with kids of all ages.

Good Luck to you and to your daughter!

M. F

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R.H.

answers from Columbus on

There are group meeting at libraries g-ma and baby can be around other moms and children once at week.A pre-school program one or two days a week.Also weekends or your day off u can take your child where alot of other children are,Zoo,play areas indoor and outdoor,check the paper for things for families and children.Good Luck,it is great to be lucky enough to have a parent babysit thank your mom often.

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