Inappropriate??? Smirking/Laughing

Yup. It's probably because they think gross is funny UNTIL the shoe is on the other foot and THEY have to deal with grossness.

It can also be an adrenaline response. Some people's first instinct is to cry, others to get angry, mine is to smile or laugh.

when my husband is disciplining the kids, he does it with a big smirk on his face, which makes the kids laugh. It drives me crazy. But he grew up getting his face slapped regularly, so I see his point. Maybe just lighten up on the stern-ness a little, while still reminding them of respect and good hygiene.

for some personalities (young children - NOT teenager's) I think it is their natural response to getting into trouble... they get nervous and get very goofy.

I have one child that does this and I just work on telling her that what I'm saying is important and that she needs to calm down and concentrate on what I'm saying.

I also tell her that it's not acceptable behavior to laugh and act goofy and not look a person in the eye when they're talking to them, that it makes the person feel as though she doesn't think what they are saying is important.

You know your child best so only you can really tell if he's being a smart alec (sp?) or if he's just nervous.

I think it's normal. But I also don't think it should be allowed or tolerated. If you ignore then they will most definitely do it to another adult. It's disrepectful to laugh or smirk at anything an adult is telling them in seriousness.

Kids that age don't care about others, much, until it comes back on them somehow.

They also don't care about far-out consequences that may or may not happen (germs, illness, etc.). Their brains just aren't to the point of understanding long-term consequences. It's about immediate reward or immediate negative consequence.

Bodily functions are funny at that age. They know it's "gross" because they've been told that all their lives, but it's really more "funny gross" than really gross. That's why they laugh about boogers, spit, farts (though, my husband still laughs about farts), burps, poop, pee, etc.

My gut instinct would be to enforce a consequence for whatever the original infraction was, then rachet it up for smirking, etc. Time out for 5 minutes goes to 10 minutes. Take away 2 toys instead of just 1. It's possible that they are not even aware that they are doing it but I would start making them aware of it and letting them know it's really disrespectful, and tell them how you expect them to react. I am working on my 4 year old, who more often than not has some kind of "protest" to whatever I am asking her to do - the simplest requests are met with "But I..." Umm, NO! I've told her that for now, all I want to hear is "Yes Mom!" or "Okay Mom!". I'm not trying to raise her to be a blindly obedient sheep, but I don't think expecting her to simply do things like get her coat on now when it's time to leave for school (instead of asking to watch more TV) is asking too much. So maybe you need to make it more clear what you expect them to do, and then really lower the hammer on the snarkiness.

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I don't have advice for how to stop it but please do...I had a high school student who would do that...he would be in trouble or do something super inappropriate and the just smile at you.

This was before I had kids of my own...but let me tell you I wanted to slap it right off his face...of course I didn't I am an adult and have self control, but boy was the urge there...then when we asked his parents at his conference about it because he did it to all of us teachers much to our dismay...they responded that well yes, he had always done it and well, they just didn't know what to do about it....argh!!!

I would make the punishment worse if it were my child...if they smirked about it...

I would consider it disrespect and give it firmest discipline every time they do it. To me it's no different than any snide or inappropriate reaction. They "might" outgrow it, or they might not. They might get worse and never learn how to be respectful when given directions. I would discipline it. If time outs don't work, I'd be firmer.

It is normal for some people, age doesn't matter. I will start laughing at the most inappropriate times. Thank god those that know me know my brain just does funny things.

You have to look at it this way, if smirking gets you in more trouble then it was involuntary.

I don't know if it is normal, but my 5 yr old does it too, it irritates me to no end, and I DO give him a bit extra of a punishment to teach him that it is not funny.

I don't think that it is exactly "normal" for a kid this age to do. I think that it is a personality trait. (Wise guy thing.)

What you are doing to counteract it is spot on. You are giving a consequence that directly correlates with the infraction that he's smirking/laughing about.

He really needs to learn the lesson because he will be the kid in the class who the teacher can't stand. Keep working on this, B.. You are doing the right thing. Ignoring it is not going to fix it.

Dawn

My daughter does that when she gets embarrassed about getting into trouble. They're learning what is appropriate and how to deal with their own emotions.

A lot of children and some adults laugh or smile at inappropriate times as an emotional response. Sometimes it is because they are unsure what the socially appropriate response would be - this is very common in younger children, sometimes it is an involuntary emotional response to a strong stimulus.
You know your kids best and should decide whether they are simply immature or truly disrespectful.

I think they're having a good time. They're being gross, of course, but they're enjoying it. Kids enjoy a certain sort of grossness. Do they have good, appropriate fun together, too?

I think they both knew the action was not appropriate, and were enjoying being in cahoots and doing it anyway. And when you started explaining and then got your dander up, you became part of the game.

I like your line about using the plate that was, um, so decorated. Is there something that would be a proper consequence for both of them? This seems to be a team sport.

I hate to admit this, but my sister and I did a little something like that when we were that age - not the nose stuff, but the "partners in crime" business. We'd decide on a naughty word we weren't supposed to say (a pretty tame one, because we didn't know the bad ones), and whisper it back and forth to one another. And if our mama got mad, that made it even more fun.

Of course it's disrespectful, but respect is a pretty vague concept for young children. It might be more effective for you to play your own game that makes theirs unappealing. Maybe... the one culprit uses the "decorated" plate and the partner in crime gets the privilege of doing the smelly, yucky garbage chores after supper. I don't know if that's exactly it, but I hope you know what I mean; make it something they're not going to like. Hopefully their game will get old pretty doggone fast without your having to blow a gasket.

I consider it inappropriate at any age. Even my 2.5-4 year olds get extra time out for that behavior. They learn pretty early that when I am giving them a talking to, they better act somber enough.

My daughter does this....I think it's kind of like the adult that says something hurtful then says, "I was just joking." I think they do it because they think the will get out of trouble for it.

I remember I used to do that as a child when I was embarassed about getting into trouble. My daughter does it today and I recognize it as embarassment. I think its normal.

There is no normal here... Some folks/kids are just "funnier" than others, or so they think they are. Some are more rebellious, sensitive, rude, sweet, etc. So it sounds like you have a challenge on your hands...

You could implement a better punishment than a timeout. If they are double-teaming, then first off I would punish all for the sins of one to keep them from egging one another on. Tell them that this will be the case from now on and stick to it, no matter what. It turns one of them into a hall monitor very quickly.
Then explain just ONCE either today/tonite that also from now on, they are old enough to know right and wrong*. Trust me, they do, that's why they're smirking. And that since they know, there will be punishment X whenever they Y, Z, etc... (list all they have done that you can think of). Then pick something they both like, dearly, and take it away as punishment X.

With my, very spirited, daughter, I take away her blanket. So "blanket goes in time-out" Usually for 5-10 minutes (she's 4), but if she teases the cats or dogs, it goes away for the rest of the day and she doesn't get it back until the next day.

*I noticed over a year ago (she was barely 3!!!) that when she would come out of time out, and I asked why she was in there, she knew why without me having to say it. So she KNOWS what she has done. EVEN NEW THINGS. I do give a one sentence why not, (i.e. that hurts people) but that is it no more discussion. Then she must make amends with the one she offended, man or animal... and we move on.

Good Luck!

i know i did that till i was 12 or 13 maybe older, partly because i wasnt scared of my mom, partly because i laugh when i get nervous/scared. when me and my boyfriend argue now, i still get like that

Two of my grandkids did that, and I believe it was nervous reactions, possibly from embarrassment. They outgrew it.

At my preschool, we sit down with kids who smirk when being scolded and tell them sternly that it is not funny. Then instead of time out in a chair somewhere, they have to sit with us, right next to us, until we think the message has gotten through. It is indeed disrespectful, and not nervousness, if your son smirked until he found out that HE had to use the plate he messed up.

Hi. My son is now 14. He has always smirked/laughed when he was being disciplined or spoken to in a serious manor. He still does. Some people have this reaction when they get nervous. It's not something that you can get rid of by punishing or "slapping it off his face" as one person responded with. Though frustrating to anyone speaking to them, it is not something they can help doing, it's a natural reaction from being nervous. The intended message still gets through. Most kids/young adults will out grow it as they mature. What works for my son is lightening up on the tone of my voice and not projecting an attitude of disappointment. He feels more at ease and the message gets across in a positive way. Rather than feeling nervous about being wrong and possible punishment and disappointing those around him, my son is more motivated with positive reinforcement and the smirking turns into a smile of understanding instead.