First off let me say that I have been living with my bf for a year and he has a brother that recently got married about 3 months ago and only knew this girl for about 2 months before getting married. The problem is for some reason this sister-n-law of my bf has been stirring up s**t in the family saying that I have said things,,,,which I haven't. We had a family meeting and of course everyone denied saying anything or was trying to accuse me of saying things. In turn nothing came out of it and now the mother hates my guts... I defended myself and the mother automatically took sides with her daughter in law b/c she said she's family...to me wrong is wrong and right is right. I told them all off pretty much after that but now I don't know how my b/f is gonna feel about all this. He says he isn't mad at me but I know this must be hard for him. I really don't know what else to do..I didn't do anything but don't want tension between us. Any ideas?
Thank all of you for your post. To fill all of you in, we have had a talk and he and I are on the same page. Things have come to light as far as his mom coming to him and telling him some things were embelleshed upon during all the chit chat between her and the SIL. I am just going to give it time and see how things go. Thanks to all of you who gave advice.
Get married. Then you'll be family too and the sister-in-law won't out rank you.
in the future, HE needs to handle conflict with HIS family, YOU handle conflict with YOUR family.... that's a great rule to live by, you should have never been subjected to a slew of in-laws lighting into you.
If you had a family meeting regarding this incident, then bf was there and you should have a very good idea about he feels about this. Did BF speak up during this meeting?
You and bf need to sit down and have a "heart to heart" talk about the situation. One thing MIL said/implied is true, family sticks together and you are not family. You need to know where BF stands on this issue and you need to have a plan on how you and BF are going to deal with family events in the future.
Cling to eachother no matter what. I have been married ten years and have dealt with nice but very judgemental and critical in-laws(all of them) And the times when we both felt good about an argument with family, or just an situation dealing with his family and mine, was when we were both on the same page. Talk to him come up with rules or a game plan and no matter what when stuuf goes down stick together, be one united front and nothing they do will mess with your relationship which is the most important thing
I`m pushing close to the 60 mark in years and have learned a few very good rules ; in laws will always try to butt in to ones personal life or try to be judgemental of your intended one , inlaws will always try to find a flaw within you (either the mom wont cut loose the apron strings or the father doesn`t want his little girl to grow up ) in denial an inlaw may try to be controling with the wrong attidtude ex:( im right your wrong any question) so don`t worry about what has happend and center on what you want to do with your life (it is your life not theirs to live) you will be the one , not them, that makes all the final things come true . now on a lighter note : if you get tired of all their problems that they throw at you , just take you and yours and move half way accross the country , total disconect works just as well .
paschar
He says he's not mad, so believe him.
