In-laws..... Feel the Love....

Updated on April 08, 2011
N.M. asks from Bell, CA
28 answers

I always see posts of questions regarding problems with nasty in-laws. But are there ladies out there that actually get along with theirs? I LOVE my inlaws! All of them... and we get along great... It's the same on my side of the family with my husband. Is this rare or something? I'm having a hard time understanding how there are so many issues out there with inlaws. My parents never had trouble with theirs either....

How many ladies get along great with their In-laws?

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So What Happened?

WOW!! So many posts!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's lucky. It really makes me happy that some of you are happy with your In-laws. Most of my friends have problems with theirs and you always see "the troublesome In-law" in TV sitcoms, so I was wondering if this was the norm. I'm glad it isn't. :)

To Jen M. :
I didn't think I was implying that I was "judging" those who have problems with their In-laws. If this is what you got out of my question, I am sorry. That was not my intent.

Featured Answers

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I LOVE MY INLAWS!! My FIL and his wife live literally right down the street... my fiance's 2 little brothers, ages 10 and 12 are at my house ALL THE TIME. I wouldn't have it any other way. My fiance's stepmom's is most definately one of my best friends. My MIL and her husband live in Louisiana, but I talk to her on the phone at least twice a week, and we email each other constantly. I love them all. Sometime's I feel closer to them than my own family!! Especially my fiance's stepmom, she's over here constantly, helping with the baby and stuff. I got soooo lucky with them all, I love them!!

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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my in-laws. My sisters-in-law are closer to me than I am to my own brother, my MIL has little tendencies that drive us crazy sometimes but she's an amazing woman and they are never huge issues. My husband feels the same way about my parents, my hubby and dad are super close and we spend lots of time together. Its nice to see that I'm not alone, and yes we are a rare breed! Lucky us!

2 moms found this helpful

C.F.

answers from Boston on

I Adore my In laws :-) I'm blessed and know it !!!! I cringe every time I hear a horror story about other and their situations, I feel badly for them.

1 mom found this helpful

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A.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

I really do like my inlaws. They are good, kindhearted people who love their family, espcially the grandkids.
Sometimes i just wish we would see a little less of them. We see them so much i sometimes wonder if they have moved in and noone told me. And when you see anyone all the time its easy for all of their little quirks that you wouldnt normally even notice to get under you skin and make you irrated with them. Im sure if we saw my family as much as we saw my husbands i would gripe more about them too. They can be just as annoying

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

You're very blessed to have a good situation on both sides!

My in-laws and I have butt heads and our relationship isn't perfect, but I will say this. They have been there for me when my own parents haven't, they have provided love, support, financial support, more open conversation, more effort, and more thankless acts of kindness than my own parents have.

And although I sometimes hate that they are so "in" our lives...I am glad that they care enough to make a concentrated effort to keep family first and have never treated me like a daughter in law, but always as a daughter!

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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

My MIL and FIL are gone. My FIL passed away before we got a chance to travel to Michigan, but I spoke on the phone with him every week. My DH says that he really liked me. My MIL came and stayed with us a few months while I was on bedrest and after our now 9 year old was born. I loved her and we got along great. I've always gotten along great with all my BIL's and SIL's, too. DH gets along great with my siblings, and he did with my dad, who is now gone. He got along good with my mom, except for when she did her passive aggressive fit throwing. She is gone now too.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

First of all, I didn't see this question at all as you passing judgment on those who don't get along with their in-laws. Sounded like a "just for fun" to me! :)

I get along very well with my in-laws! They live in another state, and come for extended visits, and we always have such a wonderful time. We try and go there for 2-3 weeks every summer as well, and it's usually a very relaxing time. I'm not saying that I always "get" them...but I don't always "get" my own family either! ;) I think my husband and I are VERY blessed to have great relationships with both sides, and both our parents genuinely love to see each other, too. Our families definitely have some differences, but as I've spent more time with my in-laws, I understand them more, and that has really helped.

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My in-laws are wonderful, and I wish they lived closer! We only get to see them once a year, but I look forward to their visits so much. Actually, I should note that they are actually my husband's aunt and uncle (his parents died when he was a teenager), but they are just like parents to him. The fact that they stepped up in my husband's time of need as a young man really says a lot about them, especially since they didn't have to, and have no children of their own. They are such generous, kind, and funny people.

Likewise, my husband gets along great with both of my parents. I always feel sorry for people with horrible in-laws, because our extended family is great! (Like fruitcake - mostly sweet with a few nuts! ;)

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D.L.

answers from Phoenix on

I have a different type of situation, but I get along very well with my boyfriend's parents. We split up before I knew I was pregnant, but his parents and grandparents have never treated me as anything less than family. I am invited to holidays at their house, we exchange letters and phone calls. They have always been extremely kind to me, even when things were at their worst between their son and me. I couldn't be happier with them, and would be so proud to be able to call them my in-laws one day.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

I get along great with my DH's family, and he gets along great with mine. When we have everyone together for the kids' birthdays or something, our families get along very well with eachother too.
I think a lot of people have good relationships w/ inlaws, but we don't hear much about it here because, if everyone gets along, no need to post anything, I guess :)

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well my mom had a great relationship with her in laws ( my grandparents and my 91 yr old grandmom is still alive and in good health)
It didnt start off so good. My mom is Irish my dad is Polish. They are both first generation. So with many first generation of whatever ethic group they were very Irish and very Polish. My Irish grandparents liked my dad right away. They said the Polish men usually treat a woman with respect. My Polish grandparents didnt like that my mom was Irish. They way the first congrads my parents when they found out my mom was expecting me her first child. YOUR PREGNANT. YOUR IRISH YOUR GOING TO BE POPPING THEM OUT. My mom didnt respond with anything nasty. She was given great advice from her own mother." My Irish grandmom said. Maryellen when you marry into a family you just have to love them all."
My mom was raised with gracious and is a praying woman. Eventually my Polish grandmom came around. Almost right away my Polish grandpop and mom formed a wonderful relationship. It took 10 yrs for my grandmom to give my mom any type of present Christmas or whatever. My mom always treated my grandparents with nothing but love and acceptance. We had a great relationship with my Polish grandparents because of my mom. My dad loved his parents but he was a typical guy and left the visiting and working on the relationship to my mom.
I tried the same thing with my in laws. I think my fil liked me more than my mil. He is not very talkative and she is defintely the matricah of the family.
I always tired my best to be the best dil to them. I really did good. After we got married she would tell me she was jealous of me.I always invited them on vacation..vactation that was less then 2 hrs from their house. They always had an excuse. I tired for many years to visit on a regular basis. She was okay with me visiting by myself before we got married..I thought we had a good relationship. Once we were married and had kids I would schedule a visit so they could see their grandkids. She would always cancel the night before or the morning I was supposed to visit. My kids are there only grandchildren. To me they barely had any interest in spending time with my kids. I do know she does love them and lets them know this.
After about 25 times of her canceling visitings I started to think she really didnt want me to visit. I found the relationship confusing. I really just wanted to make her happy. I wanted her to like me. Realize that we are different but thats ok.
You are so lucky. Cherish and realize how lucky you truly are for you and your family that have in laws that want to be a part of your life.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have great in-laws, love them to pieces! I feel very lucky and blessed that my kids have them as grandparents!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

My mother in law is awesome. I adore her. If she lived closer we would have such a grand time but she is over 1000 miles away from here but we do talk often.

My father's mother was awesome to my mom and my grandmother was awesome to my dad even after the divorce. My grandfather was always kind of a cool character. He just wasn't particularly warm and fuzzy. Just his nature but he wasn't rude.

My father in law died when my husband was 18 so we never had the pleasure of meeting but I'm told we would have had a grand time together.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I get a long GREAT with my in-laws!! They live in a totally different country and I have only met them once....hmm...bet some ladies wish they could trade places with me!
Seriously though, if they lived in the states I would probably go crazy with my mother in law. She definetly is a buttinsky and when I went down there with my first son (they live in Mexico City) I was in tears once because they kept going behind my back and feeding my son when he was still not eating solids! We talk to them on Skype about once a week, and even then she is giving me helpful advice over the internet! lol She is a good woman with good intentions, just a bit more involved than I would want.
My husband loves my parents and will tell anyone who asks that he won the lottery with my folks.
L.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Um... well... we have a weird situation, sort of as far as in-laws. My husband was adopted by his grandparents (deceased before we married), so his relationship with his mother is a little unusual (he calls her by her first name, but our kids refer to her as Gram and we treat her as if she raised him for the most part). He has almost no contact with his dad (I think he's seen him 4 times since the adoption or something...so in the last almost 40 years). "Gram" remarried when hubby was young, so he has 2 half-siblings as well. And his aunt & uncle are LEGALLY his brother and SIL, ha haha
So... it is odd. But, the aunt & uncle we get along FABULOUSLY with.. and they spoil our kids rotten every chance they get. His mom ("Gram") is a little odd, but once she figured out early in our marriage that he was devoted and loyal to me and OUR family, toned down her manipulations considerably, and has never since OVERTLY done anything to cause problems for us. (She is a freak when it comes to her 2 daughters, however, and they call us to complain about her, lol). I actually feel very close with my husband's family. Probably, to a large degree, even closer than my own. I grew up in June & Ward Cleaver land... but even though there wasn't drama or craziness, as individuals with my parents and siblings, we are not particularly close. (Hubby and I actually just had this discussion the other day). My parents would never deliberately do anything to hurt or upset my husband. They love him.
So, I guess we fall into the "no problems" group. At least until something happens with his mom's health at some point down the road.... We'll see what happens then.... :/

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My current in laws are wonderful people. Sometimes they are just way too much to deal with - they are a big, loud, opinionated family - but they are such good people. I had mostly the same experience with my previous in laws (first marriage) too.

However.... I dated a man for five years whose family, especially his mother, just did not like me. She had extremely specific ideas about what kind of person her son should be with and I was not that person. Plus, she had no sense of boundaries or tact and would say the most outrageous things to me. She also tried to convince him to move to New York, knowing that I was not able to leave this area. We had a very hard time with each other. It was one of the factors that fed into us not taking our relationship to the next level.

There are a number of reasons that people could have issues with their in laws... most likely as many reasons as people who have in law issues. Sometimes people's personalities just clash. Sometimes there are addiction issues. Sometimes there are mental health issues. Sometimes the DIL or SIL is viewed as "just not good enough." Sometimes there are class or religious or racial issues. Sometimes, like my ex-boyfriend's mom, they are just focused on their own agenda. It might mystify you, but I suggest you enjoy your relationship with YOUR inlaws and try not to judge others' relationships with theirs.

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did not get along with mine at first. My husband is from Amsterdam, so I was an American (gasp!)! He came to California for an internship and they all joked about coming home with a girlfriend... then he really did haha. They did not like me at first. They passed judgment about me, Americans in general, the culture, food, blah blah. I bit my tongue and let it all pass me by while nicely defending myself. After a while, though, she saw how awesome I am and now we all get along great =) We all love each other and it is amazing!

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Love them and am thrilled they live only 2 1/2 hours away--I'd actually be happy if they lived much closer. My MIL and SIL were in delivery with me with my first two children and for my third it was just my SIL. I feel very blessed to have such an awesome second family. :)

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P.W.

answers from Lexington on

I love my inlaws and my DH loves my mom. We try to see them every chance we get. In fact, we're getting ready to visit them for a few days next week. :)

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I adore my in-laws!!! I feel so lucky to have them :)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

My ILs are fabulous. My MIL passed away before I met my husband. My FIL got re-married the same year that DH and I did and they are wonderful people. I love his whole extended family. I joke that if we ever split up, I get his family (and they'd take my side anyway lol). What's especially nice is that my son was 5 when we got married and they treat him like a blood relative. My family, for the most part, does the same with my step-daughter but because she spends most Christian holidays with her mom, she doesn't go to many of my extended family's events so they don't know her as well. Nonetheless, I do love that not only do my parents and siblings remember DSDs birthday and buy gifts for her at holidays, some of my aunts - who have only met her a few times - remember those occasions too and include her in any treats/gifts for the other kids even though she's not there. DH's family does the same for all of our kids, and it's nice that my son is FB friends with some cousins from DH's side of the family, etc. I'm very lucky to have married into a great family. I just wish some of those attributes would rub off a bit more on my husband ;-)

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

N.:

My first in-laws were wonderful!! LOVED them to death. Still keep in touch with them.

My husband's parents? Well, my MIL died on Mother's Day 2006. We had a up and down relationship - but in the end it was good. My FIL? He likes to stir up drama and trouble - so he's OKAY....my husband's family is NOT a close family. for them - talking 4x a year - is "normal" - for mine? we talk weekly - if not daily - and sometimes more than once a day!!

My husband's thoughts on HIS inlaws?

MIL is BUSY!! (my mom hates to sit still for too long so when they come over - she's baking cookies, cleaning house, doing laundry - all this stuff and it makes my husband feel bad!! :)

FIL? Talker - yep. Loves to sit and talk and talk and loves to do wood working - so he will help my hubby build things.....

Overall he can't complain. Neither can I.

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

I love my MIL like another mother. She is a spectacular lady and I always say that she just cant be human because she is too nice. My father is a real piece of work and we actually havent spoken to eachother since my DD was first born 15 months ago so I am lucky enough to have a FIL that has taken me under his wing and has shown me what a father should be like. My Inlaws are divorced but hang out still like best friends as do each of their spouses who are great people too. I guess that alone sums up what type of people my inlaws are. Just awesome

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I DO love them, but it was an adjustment in the beginning. I think personality differences, and feeling your way as to your "place" in the family is usually normal.

I think you are pretty lucky that all went well from day 1.

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A.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am with you... I love my inlaws, at times more than my own family LOL.
And when my parents divorced, my mom stayed close with my dad's family and I grew up with both sides of my family being very close...
I feel bad for people who have such bad relationships with their inlaws.. it has to make life very hard!

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My husband's parents are divorced, and both remarried. I get along great with both sets of his parents, and both of his sisters. My husband gets along really well with my family, too. They love him. Of course, my in-laws have had their moments over the years of making me nuts (mostly where kids are concerned) but, overall, I feel really blessed to have all four of them. (Especially since my family is 2500 miles away and I rarely get to see them.)

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

I have great in-laws. They are quirky and different from my parents, but generally just all around good people, and they raised a great man that is my husband. Now, my sister in law, not so much. I am always amazed that her and my husband were raised by the same parents!

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I get along great with mine...actually my MIL is more of a mother to me than my own mother (sad I know) ...but noone can replace my dad...
seems like my hubby side of the family is more of a FAMILY..my side seems more of a cluster...I dont think you are alone..but I know alot of people that hate their inlaws...

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