I'm the Worst Potty Trainer??

Updated on June 20, 2008
J.A. asks from North Wales, PA
6 answers

I am a stay at home mom. My daughter will be 21 months next week.
We bought her a small potty for the floor and a toilet attachment two months ago. We have just been casually introducing her to both, as well as, incorporating some Elmo (her favorite) potty videos.
TWICE now I have messed up her trying to poop in the potty. Poop! Not pee!
The first time, she asked to sit on the potty. I put her up there and we hung out in the bathroom for a bit. I am remodeling that bathroom, so she asked to see my spackling tools. I let her hold it and she tried to emulate me working on the walls. I showed her the proper way to do it and she got so distracted by being able to spackle properly, that she hopped off of the toilet to do it right. I put her diaper back on her and she pooped no more than 30 seconds later.
The second time (tonight), I was brushing my hair in the mirror in that same bathroom. She always joins me in the bathroom and shuffles her toilet things around in random ways. So, when she did that tonight, I thought nothing of it and continued with my silly primping. The husband was coming home and I wanted to look pretty. So selfish.
When I finally looked down, she had her attachment on the toilet, the stool in front of the toilet and was trying to climb onto the big toilet. I told her to be careful and then said, "Okay, let's go!" She walked out with me. Then, guess what? Seconds later she pooped in her diaper.
Needless to say, I am feeling like a huge horses butt right now. My daughter tried to tell me twice that she wanted to use the potty and both times I botched it.
I am so scared about messing up the whole potty training situation. I read that kids are so sensitive during this learning period.
Is it possible to squash her enthusiasm about the potty? Do you think I did?
I feel so awful right now.

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S.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You know its so funny you said this because I am starting to potty train and I am also afraid I wont be successful. My daughter is 30 months and its time and I keep introducing it slowley and then I turn around and she is squatting on the floor peeing.It takes consistency and patience,I got the free DVD from the huggies website and it offers alot of ideas on how to approach. I have to build up my confidence in the mean time. I just wanted you to know,I feel the same and not to feel awful. Thanks for sharing.
S.

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

No, no, no, no noooooooooooooooooooo! You are not the worst potty trainer and it will all be fine. You are doing the right thing to just take it easy at this point. She's not even 2 yet, so it's great that she's showing interest. Beware that sometimes once they do start using the potty on a pretty regular basis in the beginning, they may lose interest in stop wanting to go. This is usually temporary. I know you love your child to pieces but be careful not to OVER evaluate things because you will drive yourself crazy and her too! Take care.

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R.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

J.,
I am laughing as I read your post. I can so relate to how you feel! My daughter is 23 months and I introduced her to the potty about 3 months ago. Needless to say, we have had many mishaps, and a few successes. My daughter actually has gone number 2 twice on the potty, but no pee pee yet.

I have a quick funny story to make you feel better. It was bath time, I asked my daugher if she wanted to try the potty, she said yes, so up we went (onto the Dora & Boots seat on top of big potty - I have a stand alone potty upstairs also) I waited and waited, and nothing was happening except my toilet getting stuffed with toilet paper my princess was throwing in (she's got that part down perfect!) After a good try, I took her off the potty - off she ran into the sunroom - naked. I went into the kitchen briefly and Uncle Johnny who was over for dinner walked out of the kitchen with me into the sunroom and there greeting us in the middle of the floor was a very large pile of number 2 and my daughter proudly announcing, "Mommy, look, poopy!!" I was mortified at first, and then realized, these are the memories we will never forget and it is small in comparison. Keep on trying - don't feel like a failure - I am convinced there is no magic formula - just keep encouraging and guiding...good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am a SAHM of an 8 and 4 year old. My son (8) was easier to potty train than my daughter. He is a typical boy who thought it was amazing to aim at things in the toilet. My daughter on the other hand, would not do anything. She wanted nothing to do with it. I have learned a lot from my first child and the one thing that has benefited me the most is not to push them. When she was ready, she started doing it on her own. She was almost 3 years old, but once she got it, we were done with diapers and pull-ups, even at night. She has not had an accident in almost a year. Hope this helps!

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a mom, not a mind-reader. You'll get good at picking up on your daughter's clues, but even when you do, there will still be accidents. My daughter shows many signs that she is willing to go potty but when push comes to shove, she refuses to put anything into the potty. I don't think you've squashed her enthusiasm for using the potty. Give it time and be patient - with her and with yourself. Learn from past incidents. Good luck!

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

HI J.,
OK--she's interested in the potty and that's GREAT but she's not even 2 yet! I would let her keep testing the concept and encourage her but she may still be too little to be consistent.
I wouldn't DIScourage her but don't expect too much too soon. Don't be so hard on yourself.
O. suggestion--if you really want to give it a go--pick a few days when you will behome and keep her naked from the waist down and carry her potty chair everywhere you go--keep it very handy at all times. She'll have success because she won't have pants, shorts, pull ups to deal with. Also get her the book "Once Upon a Potty" (for girls version). My son loved that book!

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