Potty Training - Going #2 - Lombard,IL

Well, #2 training usually happens after #1.
What worked for us was "catching him in the act, plopping him on there & making a HUGE fuss!
Good luck!

My son took a long time for number 2. He used to sneek up to his room and put on a pull-up to do it! One day while visiting family he used his cousin's bathroom and never looked back. I would suggest using pull-ups if he has constipation issues. It will all happen when he is ready.
He was trained for pee at 3, poop around 3.5 or 4 and night time pee at 5. Patience is key.

Some kids, especially boys, are not fully potty trained until they are 4-ish. Are you prepared to clean up his mess twice a day for another year?

Just because something works for one kid, does not mean it will work for the next child, so sticking to your methodology might be counterproductive.

Why are you rushing this when he's obviously not ready? Is there some financial or other reason you can't leave him in diapers or pull-ups until he's ready?

You are certainly not alone in having a 2.5 year old boy who isn't ready to fully potty train. How you choose to react to it is up to you. If you want to continue to be overwhelmed, keep him in underpants. Or go back to diapers/pull-ups and relax. The choice is yours.

3 years and three months old was when my son was finally ready to make poop in the potty. Until then it was an effort in futility to try and get him to go in the toilet.

As he was my first I wish someone had told me to back off and let him wear pullups until he was ready. I spent some long days pulling out my hair cleaning up poop wondering what I was doing wrong. He was peeing in the potty AND nighttime dry. So why wasn't he getting the whole poop thing??

He will do it when he is ready to do it. Until then save yourself some time and energy and messy clean ups.

That is the advice I would have given myself...good luck!!

i guess i don't get why you're wedded to a particular strategy, and not willing to adjust it to suit your individual children.
if your 4.5 year old wore size 2 shoes at that age, would you insist your 2 year old must do the same, even if it meant scrunching his feet?
you're pushing him too hard. it's barely been a week. let this little boy proceed at his own pace.
khairete
S.

I don't know how you can train a 2.5 year old who a) isn't ready and b) has constipation issues. "Potty training" is really a misnomer - it's nothing you teach, it's something you wait for in their development. You're making the assumption that he can control this and recognize the cues. That's a huge assumption given that many kids are not ready until 3.5 or 4. My concern is that you are setting him up for incredible disappointment and frustration, and a sense of failure. I'd say that even if he didn't have constipation - but he does, and that's a problem. Kids who are confused or afraid of pooping tend to hold it in - the exact opposite of what i healthy when they are constipated.

You either have to be with him 100% of the time, watching every move and ever facial expression, putting him the potty 10 times a day until you get it right, or you have to wait. Your older child mastered this skill early - it's a fluke. You can't expect the same thing in a different child. It's as individual as walking, talking, sleeping through the night, etc. Every kid is on his own timetable, yet we don't try to force kids to walk before they are "there" developmentally. I think you are setting yourself up for a real battle of wills.

But I would absolutely 100% discuss this with the pediatrician or a pediatric gastroenterologist if there's already a constipation problem at play.

Well, yes and no. I was in the same boat - my second son was potty trained for #1 at about 2 years 9 months but didn't train for poop until he was nearly 4.5 years. He also struggled with constipation issues - he simply did not like to poop so he would hold it and then it would hurt - a total vicious cycle. I didn't have this trouble with my first son but he learned to pee sitting down so then going from pee to poop wasn't as tough. My second son learned to pee standing up (from his brother) so he wasn't used to sitting on the potty either.

Basically, second son would wear underwear and when he had to poop would go and put on a pull up, poop and then ask to be changed. We insisted that he poop in the bathroom with the door closed. Our pediatrician advised us not to withhold the pull ups but rather to not make this a power struggle. He did not poop more than once every other day or so....part of the constipation issues so it was what we lived with. Then one day at about age 4.5 months, he went and pooped in the potty. He has been doing that ever since! Interestingly enough, at the same time he stopped wetting the bed at night. I think the pediatrician was right - when he was ready he would do it.

Be patient Mama, very few children go to kindergarten in diapers.

C.

I trained my three kids fairly young (at least by US standards) at around 22-24 months by watching them and following their cues. When they needed to poop they usually walked away, went behind the couch, etc. and got really quiet, so I just scooped them up and put them on the potty really quick.
Not sure if that would work with an older child but that's what worked for me (and yes they were of course a few accidents but overall the process only took about a few weeks.)

I'd rather not have poop on the floors and furniture so pull ups were great for me. They are supposed to keep the mess in the pants but work like underwear so they get used to the idea.

So no, I'd not go straight to underwear. I think it's not very clean and it's just a big mess.

Hr is obviously not ready. You cannot "train" a child to do something that he is not ready for.

When his body is able to send him signals that he is ready for a bowel movement, he will put it all together. until then, it will be up to you to decide if you want to waste his and your time, guessing what his body is doing.

If you see the signs, you could walk or carry him to the potty, but do not expect it to be a while until it clicks with him.

To have a bowel movement his feet will need to either be on the floor or on a sturdy step stool. Find one he is comfortable with, so he can use.

stop trying to get your second child to be like your first.
my first trained himeslf to go both in about a week right after he turned 2 didn't have many accidents. (he wanted to be naked so i let him and put a potty seat in the play area so he could get to it quickly. after that first week the potty was right outside the bathroom and then in the bathroom)
my second is 3 and has several accidents (pee only) a week. she poos in the potty just fine.
my point is that Every Child Is Different!
i didn't train either one of my children, i let them learn for themselvs.on their own time. helping them along the way

Tadpole's experience was pretty much mine. Both my girls pretty much trained themselves when they were ready, and it was quick. Our first was just over 2yo and our second was 2.5yo. I should mention that we'd tried to train our second kiddo (lukewarm effort) and stopped. After a couple of weeks, she chose to do it on her own. Both poop and pee.

He may be too young to start to train. Boys usually are ready around the 3.5 year mark.

My son who wore cloth diapers decided around 8 months old that he did not like the feel of the poo in his pants and wanted to go potty. It took till he was about 3 to get the pee in the potty and stop needing any training pants.

Each child is different. My daughter took forever to train. I though she might have a medical issue but after a physical it was ruled out that she was not ready and her body was not cooperating. She too did get the hang of things and did not start kindergarten in diapers.

Go with the flow and there will be less stress and the training will get easier and possibly be completed within a shorter amount of time.

the other S.

LOL. With my oldest, she pooped in her trainers for 3 months. Yes, you read that right, 3 months. It was a pain, but I didn't know what I was doing.

Is your son naked around the house? I always find poop training the easiest when they can see the poop coming out of them. If you aren't doing naked training, I'd do that and let him feel and see it. Catch him in the act and run him to the potty. Once I did this with my oldest, she figured it out in 1 day. My son got it in 2 days, and youngest in about 5. My youngest still has the occasional poop accident, though, and the others never did. I waited until she was 2, however, to train her, so it's probably my fault for not doing it when she was 16-18 months like I did with her siblings.

Just take lots of death breathes. He will get it.

We just went through this with our 2 year old. She was kind of freaked out by pooping in the potty whereas peeling came super easy. We started a sticker chart just for pooing and made a huge deal when she tried to poop. We still had a few accidents but eventually it worked. To encourage her to try we let her play on the pbs app on our Kindle while sitting on the potty. This was very motivating to her. Is there a special toy or book he loves? Maybe save that just for sitting on the potty? Good luck!

My kids basically trained themselves - but they were older. I have to admit, the thought of washing poopy underpants was part of the reason I left it until I was absolutely sure they were ready. I think my boys were all just three.

They may have been able to do the pee earlier, but I kind of did poo/pee/overnight all at same time.

I wonder if you kept a potty right next to him so that if he feels the need to go poo, he doesn't have to get to a toilet? I know my boys especially were too busy playing to notice they had to go. So having the potty right there helped - if I saw them get that *look* they get, I'd say "potty!". They tied sensation with potty together super quick.

If he's nervous - could you read to him or something when he goes? Mine would sit with books ... funny.

Good luck :)

Our Pediatrician put our son on Miralax because he was having issues with constipation and she didn't want it to affect him when he became ready for potty training. You might talk to his Dr about that. If he isn't having negative feelings about pooping in general (hurts / isn't easy / takes a long time) then he might be more able to focus on taking cues from his body.

I don't believe there is any such thing as potty 'readiness'. The average child across the world is trained at 12 months. The average American child was fully trained at 18 months in the 1950s - before the advent of disposable diapers. There has been no physiologic change between then an now that prevents potty training until age 4. Age 2.5 is plenty old enough.

You just need to catch him doing it right so he knows the goal. Can you tell when he needs to defecate? There is a reflex so that often it is soon after eating. Many kids make a face. You need to have him on the toilet when he would normally go so that when he does you can let him know that's what you were going for. Once you catch him doing it right a few times he should continue without a problem. We also spent a lot of time reading Tari Gomi's book 'Everyone Poops" while DS sat on the toilet.

My son was the same age as yours and trained in under a week. He had ZERO signs of 'readiness' - had never expressed interest in the toilet, rarely if ever woke dry, etc.

One of my older girls also had an issue with horrible constipation for several months. We would try to catch her when she would hide but we never forced it. All 3 of my older kids were trained and done within a few days when they decided they were ready. Except, for this one, she took a little longer for #2. We never pushed, just encouraged. She still wore pullups just so she would not have a mess and easier to clean up. And she never wet them, always went to the toilet. It took a couple of months to finally be done. Every child is different so you have to change things for each. My 7 yr old did not potty train until she was just past 2 1/2 and she decided she was done within 2 weeks. My youngest, now 3 1/2, will go if you make him and has no problem with #1 but will not go on his own but I know we cannot force him.