"I'm Ready to Do Something Different with My Life"

Updated on May 27, 2009
S.H. asks from Center, TX
22 answers

I am a 26 yr. old single mom of 3 boyes,I don't like my job anymore and I really want to attend college. Well I know that I put this off for a long time but this is what I really want to do. My biggest fright is that I don't think I would be able to attend school, work, and hold down the household all at the same time. Please let me know what you think about it. Thanks

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M.S.

answers from Jackson on

I felt the same way you did. I went to school and graduated with an associates degree in computer programming. I just was not happy with it. I am a single mom of a 5 yr old little boy and I am on kidney dialysis, so I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back and sit in a classroom. I myself decided to go back to school ONLINE. It's great. It's a little fast passed, like the classes are 5 weeks long and you do 2 classes a session, but, it gives me the freedom I need to take care of my son, myself, and the house. I suggest you do go back to school and look into somenthing like this. It's great, and I love it. Good Luck on what you decide to do.

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C.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It can be done, but it won't be easy. My friend has a similar story. She had a child at 16. Parents forced them to get married. They had 2 more children. Husband ran off and left her with the kids. She got married again. Had 2 more kids. This husband got really sick and she took care of him. I can't remember if he passed away or left. She held odd jobs all through this as she didn't have a diploma. She finally got a GED. She attended college the same time her oldest son attended. She says it was hard as she had to work also and raise 5 kids alone. Sometimes all they had for dinner was macaroni and cheese. They got all the financial aid they could get. She got a degree in audiology (hearing) and worked for the VA for many years and then she went for her docorate. By this time the kids were grown and only one still in highschool. She is now a doctor and ran an audiology clinic from her home and becoming the only( dont know if I'll spell this right) Tinitus Specialist in her state. She has now been retired for several years but with a sense of going after what she truly wanted. I always think about what she did when I start thinking things are hard. Yes it may be hard so you have to decide how much you want it. It is never too late.

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A.J.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Do not let this opportunit get away.

I am sure you have some one in the family that cares enough to assist you in this matter.

The president, I understand wants mothers to go back to school. Did you look into this. There may be a way where the government will pay your tuition, and possibly give you some type of stimulus.

I do not agree with a lot of what he stands for as I am a catholic. However I think that this is a great time for mothers to obtain an education.

I pray that God will let your husband see the light and return to you as a caring husband for you and the children.

God Bless

p.s. - I have a nephew, married with two children called his mother out of the blue asking if it were possible for him to come home as he wished to return to college to study law. Today he has his degree. How could a mother refuse?

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A.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi, I just got done taking online classes through Career Step and got my Medical Transcription certificate. I am super excited because I am able to still stay at home with my daughter but yet have a job also. I will work as an independent contractor and work the hours that I want to work. If you want more information let me know or go to www.careerstep.com They give you one year to take the class, but you can get it done sooner if you want, work on your own pace, and also if it does take you longer than 1 year, you can buy extensions.

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J.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You're gonna need a support system in place to help with the boys, chores, etc. Is the ex still a big part of their lives? Do you have local family willing to help you out? If not, you might consider an online college course to start you off...
Good luck on your first step toward a new life :]

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J.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It's never too late to go back to school. I would suggest finding online classes that you can do after the boys go to bed. This will also give you the freedom to continue working a full time job without all the juggling that comes with attending classes on campus. You will need to be well organized in your daily routine to minimize any stress. You can definately do this! Good luck.
J.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi,
when I was just becoming a single mom I was about 23 and had a daughter about 3-4 years old. I began attending a local Jr. College. I loved school and lived on the financial aid. The problem with Jr. Colleges is that they don't provide any housing options. I lived in low income apartments and took M to day care close by and I walked to and from school. My financial aide covered everything because my rent was only a few dollars a month. In Oklahoma financial aide isn't counted toward income because it is specifically designated for school costs.

After I completed my 2 years at the Jr. College I received a scholarship to OU. It was a good one that covered all my tuition, fees, and books. I moved into a small rental house that was on the trolley route. I eventually got low income housing and moved into a beautiful home in a wonderful area, my rent was $18 a month.

I didn't like OU, so I took a huge risk, I called a friend who received a scholarship to OSU instead of OU and I started going to OSU in Stillwater OK. I am NOT a person who likes change and it amazed me that I could uproot myself to a town I had never been to, just move on a whim, I only knew one person, and had no support group for babysitting, family around, etc.... My financial aide/low income housing/AFDC/food stamps at OSU for the first year there was over $26,000. I had bought an old car from my brother so I was able to get around town as needed, I was on campus and I walked everywhere there, M rode the school bus that stopped right by my apartment, I arranged my classes/study time within her school hours so I didn't need child care, I took her to class with me if she had a day out that I had class, we had all the time in the world to do stuff together, life was good. I had a monthly AFDC check coming in for things like gasoline and any money I needed, it felt like it was play money because all my bills were paid by my financial aid. My apartment was all bills paid, even phone and cable and since I received low income housing my rent was only $42.00 a month. Long distance was paid separately of course. I felt absolutely rich. After my tuition, fees, books, and rent was paid I left some money in my account and then got the rest in cash. I paid cash for a newer car, paid the insurance for a year, bought all the clothes and household things I wanted, life was good. I made good friends, never worried about where the next meal was coming from, never had to work, it was the best time of my life, I joined a new church and met the man of my dreams there and married him. Moving to a new town was just what I needed to start over.

I looked up online how many colleges are near you and within one hundred miles of you there are 7 Universities or Colleges. A couple are in Louisiana and you should be close enough to qualify for regular tuition instead of out of state, they have over 2000 students so they should have good programs.

I encourage you to take the chance. Admission to College can take some time so get your enrollment started. Contact the schools you are interested in and talk to a financial aide counselor about sending you the forms you need. If you don't qualify for aide then you still need to start looking at how to budget so you can start in the Fall.

Link to the list of schools in your area. The information is about half way down.
http://www.city-data.com/city/Center-Texas.html

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A.K.

answers from Tulsa on

Yes it is doable other people had done so. Yes it will be hard work but your kids and you are wroth it, First thing talk with your boss she or he may be willing to work your working hours around your class if possible, also your firm may have money to help you out if it will add value to your work place example my hubby taking more accounting class he does accounting work. Also talk to your friend and family see if they are willing to help you with the kids while you attend classes, or study or work different hours. Also maybe they will be willing to help with the housework or making meals, shopping you will never know what they are willing to help out with if you do not open up to them. Also do not feel guilty about asking for help we all need it for time to time. The thing to feel guilty about is if after they help you , you are not there when they need you and the time we come when they will.IF the school you are going to as a non-traditional student group please get in touch with them. They will have lots things for you to do with the little ones, and other helps for you. Also take advantage of any study help you might need, I get a passing grade in one of my classes Also found time to just treat yourself to a time off, if need be just a few minutes but you have to give to yourself to have anything to give to anyone else.Also celebrate any mile stones and believe in yourself you can do it go from it.

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N.B.

answers from Tulsa on

go online and fill out your FAFSA NOW!!! don't wait, the sooner you get it in, the sooner you will know what you qualify for in terms of financial aid. start looking into degree programs and decide what would really make you happy. be sure to look at what careers are available with what degrees. i really think the reward of a college education is completely worth the challenge. go for it. you can do it. there are so many programs, loans, grants, etc that will help you pay for it and options with internet classes that help so much. GO FOR IT, YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!! (here is the fafsa website) http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/FOTWWebApp/complete013.jsp

-nat

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S.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'm all for education and following your dreams. Nothing will change until you change. Now might not be the time to start, though. School will take you away from your boys for a significant amount of time. You will have to invest time and energy into it to succeed. The kids "lost" their father just two months ago. They are in a state of emotional upheaval and are no doubt feeling loss and grief. They can't afford to lose you, too, right now. You might want to wait until they are more settled and adjusted before you start college. In the meantime, there are lots of work at home options, from babysitting to owning your own business. You can move toward being able to quit your job and work from home, allowing you to be spend more time with your sons. I'm in Mannatech, which has the advantages of making a difference in the lives of people while you are making significant income. No quotas, paperwork, deliveries, and it's risk-free. You can get your investment back if it doesn't work out for you. Regardless of whether you are interested in a home-based company or not, I hope you will keep your boys' emotional state in mind as a priority as you decide what to do. And do go to college! Just make sure you are going at the right time.
S. B.
www.susanjordanbrown.com

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

I am editing my Response so you may have read another version earlier. After reading others I have rethought what I said and what I recently told my daughter. Your ambition is to be applauded, but we have to pace ourselves as a mom and a woman. To be successful you will need to focus on what is needed in each task and we all know that is impossible when you are pulled in too many directions. Make a list of your dreams and focus on everything you need to do to make them happen. Check all your support systems, family, friends and go for it. 1st - make sure your children are always well cared for and feel like they are 1st in your life. They'll admire your hard work and love for them. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Florence on

My sister's husband is in afghanistan, and she has four children at home. She decided to go back to school while he was gone, so she was basically a single mom raising four kids and going to school. She just finished her first semester! It was really hard on her, but she's made it through and feels great about herself. She's determined to finish no matter what.

I know that if she can do it, you can, too!! GOOD LUCK!!! GO FOR IT!!!

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L.O.

answers from Huntsville on

Life is full of choices, and you have many before you. You've received some good advice here. Read all and make the best decision for you. Natalie B and Gina B mentioned what I was going to suggest - financial aide. Many people don't realize how much $ there is available... you may not have to work while going to school - wouldn't that be wonderful! You could schedule classes around your boys' school day and be with them in the afternoons.

Don't stay in a job where you're not happy. I had a job that paid decent $ (I was divorced with 3 kids) and I was miserable. I felt "stuck", I needed this steady job to support my kids, and guess what? 23 years flew by before I knew it! I finally realized that I was only as "stuck" as I thought I was. Once I was willing to take a chance and make a change, wow! My life is so good now! And yours will be, too! It'll take lots of hard work and dedication, but you'll get there.

You also need to think about this: your boys are looking to you for guidance. You need to be a strong woman and show them how to survive when things get tough. Our children learn more from our actions than from our words.

Good luck to you. And remember, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to!

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D.S.

answers from Jackson on

S.,

Sounds like things are tough right now for you, but you have to believe and have faith that things will get better for you and your boys! I have a home based business that might be something that might work for you in your situation. Not only something that you could do from your home base, but also something that could benefit your 9 yr old at this present time, and later the younger two. Just remember, you have to believe! I will keep you and your sons in my prayers!!

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S.T.

answers from Tulsa on

Of course you can! Just remember to take baby steps. You do not need to get it all accomplished overnight. Look into online classes. It's a great way to get through all of your core required classes. You can also look into what clepping out of certain core subjects, such as Speech or English. Talk to the enrollment advisor at your prospective school about it. I hope this helps!

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S.M.

answers from Tulsa on

Try working from home! I work with an amazing company that has paid me a great income, and I'm able to fit it into MY schedule - around my 4 kids. Please go to my website at www.healthyhome4family.com and REQUEST INFO - I will personally call you and we can go over everything you need to know! This could be the best decision you'll ever make for your boys!!!

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C.T.

answers from Little Rock on

You can so do it! I am Active Duty Air Force so I work Mon-Fri 7:30-4:30 (sometimes later cuz I'm the boss & it happens), I have two kids, 4yrs & 8mos, I run a home business, and I am going to school. If I can do all of that and maintain a 3.5 GPA then you can too! It seems like a lot but once you start you realize you can handle it. I do my school work after the kids are in bed. I take online classes though, not on campus classes. I have done actual classes too but I don't really like them. Don't take more than 1 or 2 classes at a time & you will do great!

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L.S.

answers from New Orleans on

Be a Melaluca customer. This company provides all their customers with the opportunity to build there own refferal business. You can build this business while you keep your old job for security or while you go back to school. This opportunity is so unique it is pattented, no other company has anything like this. There is no inventory, ordering, or delivery involved. All you do is be a customer, tell other people about the company, and if they choose to do better for their family you enroll them as a customer. That requires filling out one sheet of paper.
You can even do this entirely over the internet, we have a free webcast &/or a slideshow you can use to introduce people. You also get your free website and I can show you where to get free business cards to get you started. You set your own schedule, there are no quotas, no pressures from the company and you can advance as quickly as you want.
I ask that you give me the opportunity to explain this fully as it is an opportunity unlike anyhting else, at the very least you will know what is out there and knowing is half the battle.
I also promise, here in front of everybody, that if after hearing about this unique opportunity you think it is not for you I will not keep contatcing you! :)
Good Luck
L. Seben
____@____.com

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G.A.

answers from Monroe on

It is never tooo late to go to college. It's hard raising children with 2 incomes, and I can only imagine what it feels like to do it with 3 children and one day your doing it alone. But girl, a man does not make you. You have 3 children to take care of, and provide for, and they are looking for you to do just that. As bad as it's going to make you feel, sometimes you going to have to say no to something they want, or I don't have the money for this or that, or we will have to see. But If you have friends and family, reach out to them. Some colleges have daycares on campus where you have to put in some time working there. It can be done, we have a saying at work and it is "Put your big-girl panties on" and do what you have to do.

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M.P.

answers from Texarkana on

If you have a dream or a goal, you can do anything you set your mind to. I have attended college for 14 years. I started college in 1995, got married and had a child in 1997, had another child in 2004, and was a surrogate for my twin sister and had her baby in 2007. I never gave up. I worked the whole time I was taking classes, up until I was accepted into nursing school in 2007. Tuesday night I graduated. I received my associate's degree in nursing. I will be an RN when I pass state boards. This is just to say that anything is possible! You just have to set your mind to it. You can do whatever you set out to do, even if it takes years. It will be very worth it in the long run! I wish you the best.

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L.P.

answers from Jonesboro on

I didn't work while I went to college, and I didn't have kids then either. If your going to do it just do it now...you are not going to get any younger. Sooner you get it done the sooner you can pay off those college loans. :) People say life is short, but if you are miserable in your job life can be very very long. good luck

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G.B.

answers from Jackson on

S.,

It will be difficult but certainly doable. Are you interested in getting professional training like at a community college or going to a 4 year college? Have you considered checking in to programs that offer courses online or just going to school part-time? You could begin by taking one class at a time until you get adjusted. Community colleges are often good places to start. You will be surprised at how good it will make you feel to be working toward your goal.

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