I'm About to Be 34 Weeks and I Want to Know How Labor Is Going to Be Like.

It has been 30 years since I was in "labor" and people will say, oh you have forgotten! That may be true to some extent and that is good.

I can tell you though, that labor is not only different for each person, but it can be different for each child you have. My first was a Frank Breech baby and my labor was in my back. By that I mean, most of the pain came from a very bad backache and the breathing exercises did not help that! I remember being very unhappy at that.

I think it is great that you want to learn about labor so you won't fear the unknown. However, since it is so different for each, just like pregnancy is different for each - some have morning sickness, some gas, some nothing - just don't dwell on the stories about the tough ones. There are just as many not so tough labors. There are drugs available to ease the pain and I know many today say they wouldn't do it any other way.

Good luck and enjoy as much as you can, these last weeks of feeling that wonderful life within.

C., there's no easy answer for this. There are many variables that can happen in labor or birth, and each woman's experience - physical and emotional - can be very, very different. There is no standard labor experience. The way that expectant moms typically learn about labor and birth is to take a childbirth class. If you are 34 weeks, and don't even know a little about it, you've got some catching up to do.

In my experience, the more natural you keep you labor (less interventions) the easier it is. I'm sure a lot of women would think I was nutty, but seriously, my labor with the epidural was way worse than the two without.

Your body is designed to give birth. Thats what its all about... :) This is what helped me with my natural births -

MOVE around while you labor. Stay home as long as possible... meaning - until your contractions are close (like 5 minutes) and they require all your concentration. BREATH and focus.

Really, it isn't so bad. Yes it can be painful but it's pain with an amazing purpose.

As long as there is nothing medically wrong, try to do as much of it as possible without the doctors intervenening (meaning - don't let them give you pitocin just to get things moving... chances are they probably have a T time or dinner date to make - your birth is not for their convenience.)

Good luck.
Jessica

I was a first time mom at 38 years old. I read a lot - what to expect when you're expecting is a great book. I also took a childbirth class at the hospital. They're great sources of info and support.

I decided to go as natural as possible, as I wanted to be "involved" in the whole experience (kinda right of passage, I guess :) plus I didn't want to deal with the epidural. I decided if I needed medication to make it through the contractions - if I was getting in my own way because of pain, I'd have Stadol, which is a short term medication - it got me from 5-7 cm, and then from 7-9 when I thought the pain was too much. On the pain chart, I only got to 7 out of 10, and I never screamed - apparently I'm a grunter :)

My husband and mom-in-law were in the room with me, but I found that I was kind-of internally focused. It was very nice to have the support and have them there. They helped support my legs, or my back when I shifted position to push.

I had taken karate a while back and part of that training was to tighten the core muscles - torso, etc, so that it didn't hurt when getting punched in the stomach. That training actually helped me focus my pushing on my torso and abdomen which helped.

The more you can relax about the experience, I think the easier it can be. Yes, it will hurt, it's like nothing you've ever done before, but it's really awesome! It helped me to think that women have been doing this for thousands of years, and only recently had all the medical support :) so we're extra lucky in that regard.

I don't think you can NOT be scared, but you don't have to be really scared. It's a pretty darn amazing experience, and when you see your little one - you'll be exhausted but thrilled. Take care and enjoy!

Oh, re. breastfeeding, it's NATURAL, but not necessarily easy. Get a lactation consultant who is helpful and patient (sometimes the hospital ones are rushed) - they can be a HUGE help.

Hi Honey-
Ignorance is bliss. So stay blissful! :)
(i.e. if you already read the other posts, DON'T: they didn't sugar-coat it.)

Human beings have delivered babies for millions of years in all sorts of conditions. Your body is designed to do what it's going to do. Just know that at the hospital, the staff is well trained to make sure you are comfortable and that everyone will be safe and healthy.

Concentrate on your hospital staff's abilities and get as much sleep NOW as you can. Stay in the present, for now.

Everyone's labor is so different that it's impossible to answer that question. Don't worry about it, women have been doing this for thousands of years. Even in today's socieity, hundreds are born each day without the assistance of doctors, a team of nurses, and pain releivers. There's nothing to be scared of, this is a natural process. When you're holding that beautiful baby in your arms, it won't matter how she/he got here.

C.,

When I was pregnanat for the first time, I too was terrified beyond belief, just like you are. I have 3 kids, but many years ago, I wasn't even sure if I would ever have kids b/c of my fear of childbirth. I am not the type of person to "sugar coat" things, so I will tell you the truth about giving birth (as I am guessing a lot of people may not). Without an epidural, giving birth is EXTREMELY PAINFUL. However, before you get an epidural, the pain is awful. It's all about the god-awful contractions. However, once the big needle is inserted into your back, it only takes a few minutes for the pain to go away. Birth is a breeze (in my opinion) once you get your epidural. If you get screwed out of your epidural (like I did with my 2nd pregnancy), it will be hell. The pain will be unbearable (at least it was for me - maybe it will be different for you, but probably not). I was all set for an epidural when I was 3 cm dialated, but there was a problem - it was 2:00 a.m. and there was only 1 anastesiologist (sp?) in the hospital and another lucky girl got him instead of me. So, I had to go all the way to 9 cm dialated with NO DRUGS AT ALL! I was screaming for an epidural the entire time. At that point, it was too late for an epidural, so they gave me Staydol (a narcotic) to "take the edge off" (didn't help much, and, my baby didn't breathe for 25 seconds when he was born b/c of the Staydol, so don't let them give it to you no matter how bad the pain is). The moral of my story is this - make an appointment to be induced! When you have an appointment to be induced, it means you have an appointment with an anastesiologist!!!! Hopefully your ob-gyn will agree to have you induced. As long as you get an epidural, you will be okay. And, if you are induced, they will give you your epidural possibly even before you experience the god-awful pain of contractions. Good luck!!!!!!! It's worth it to have beautiful babies!!!!

I think no one can really prepare someone for childbirth. Everyone has a different experience and level of tolerance to pain. I have one child and she surprised my husband and I when she was born at 36 weeks.

One morning I woke up and my water just broke! I was in denial at first because I had another month to go but I knew something was up.

I was fortunate not to suffer through contractions long. The doctors gave me Pitocin a few times and would stop it due to the baby's heart rate elevation. I waited all day for something to happen only to find out I would have a C-section.

Try not to worry about childbirth too much. When it's time for the baby to come, it's time. You cannot do anything except try to breath and stay as calm as you can. I had an epidural and thought it was great. I didn't feel a thing! Actually I couldn't stop shaking from it and I was very sleepy.

The actual birth went quickly and then she was here! One piece of advice I would give is to be patient with yourself if you plan to breastfeed. I was scared and exhausted having this new life depend on me. I didn't give it enough of a chance and when I thought pumping was the answer, I wasn't consistent enough with it. My milk dried up quickly and I had to formula-feed my daughter.

Good luck and just think about the new life you will have soon! You'll be a great mother!

OK, first off, don't be terrified otherwise it's like a self fullfilling prophecy. Change your mindset so you can be more relaxed about it. Remember, your body was made for this, you'd be amazed at how the process actually works. I had my first about 13 years ago and I guess I just figured that it's been done for so long, if they could do it back then I could do it too. I've had three labors, all drug free and 10 minutes was the longest I pushed for and that was for my first. With my second, the doctor wasn't even in the room, just one nurse. With my third they kept telling not to push because they wanted the doctor to deliver, that labor was 2 hours total.

Of course every individual labor is different, some choose all natural and some not, some end up in C sections. You can't really predict the outcome, but you can make it easier. Good luck!

I was worried about labor as well. But I figured at 36 weeks I still had atleast 4 more weeks before I had to deal with it. Boy was I wrong, 5 days later I was scrambling around to back my bag for the hospital! My water broke at a little under 37 weeks. I went to the hospital and after about 7 hours from the time my water broke they started pitocin (no contractions of any consequence). Because I was more than 3 weeks early, the doctor on call evaluated me before he ordered the pitocin and said he would not give me stadol (sp?) during the labor, so it was an epidural or nothing. At 3 cm when the back labor started, I asked for the epidural (I was planning to have one, just hadn't decided at what point). Back labor starts in the front and moves to the back - and yes, labor hurts. I am a big baby when it comes to pain, so I took the epidural as soon as it was offered.

The contractions are painful, but it stops and starts so you can tolerate it. My daughters heart rate did drop at one point, and they moved me around in the bed and finally gave me oxygen at one point. She was compressing the cord during contractions. I was lucky that my regular doctor was there by that time or I am sure I would have had a c-section.

During the pushing phase, I fell asleep during the breaks between contractions (they say this is not unusual) and would wake up with the next one. Right before she was born, I felt like there was a huge burning ring between my legs. I had an episiotemy (sp?) which I didn't feel at all, but needed to deliver my daughter. And then it was over. Once the baby is out, the pain is gone! Well, they turned the epidural back up so it was all good! At that point you focus on the baby and everything else is secondary.

You will do fine. I remember the part in Father's Little Dividend (second movie to the original movie Father of the Bride) as Spencer Tracey is calming Elizabeth Taylor as she is getting close to her due date. He says women have been having babies for centuries and seem to have a strength they never knew they had. I think that is true - you will have a strength you didn't know you had to handle anything that comes up.

Best wishes!

I wasn't afraid of labor until it started. I was so anxious for my baby to be born and when I was in labor I was like..."Okay, I've changed my mind about this whole thing."
As if it works that way! :)

There really is no way for anyone to tell you what labor is like because all births are different. I have two kids and both experiences were so opposite.
Just remember that you WILL get through it and no matter what, once you hold your baby, you won't trade whatever you went through for anything.
It's all worth it.
Since you are terrified, definitely have some calming techniques down and know that not all births are hell. They really aren't.

I'm tiny and I was most afraid of pushing too long but my first baby came out after 4 good pushes.

Just keep your eyes on the prize, sweetie!
Your beautiful baby is worth the work.

Best wishes and please let us know when your baby arrives.

I had one really hard labor and one really easy labor.
it is painful, my epidural did not work, it is like when the back of your leg goes into a cramp, except its in your belly, and its a larger area.
seeing as my epidural didnt work with my first, I didnt have one with my second - and it was easier coz I could move around a bit more and the pushing stage was really quick

yes you will have to go through it - I was terrified both times, most of the time epidurals work great, so the pain wont be too bad for you.

You will read lots of different things because there are so many possible experiences. No matter what each Mom's describes the end result is an amazing prize. Keep this in mind.......It can't be too bad or women wouldn't keep doing it over and over all through the centuries.

Not going to read others responses. I will however leave you words of encouragement :-) I am probably the biggest baby ever, I think it hurts when I get pinched and stub my toe, and thought seriously that childbirth was going to be the death of me and I would never live through it to see my child grow up. I absolutely DREADED the day when it would come, and if I could have stayed pregnant forever I just might have. That being said, after all the horror stories and fear , I can honestly say giving birth is the coolest thing I have ever done in my life ! and I would do it again. I was so afraid of the pain, but guess what ? I dialated so fast that there was no time at all for an epidural, and just when I thought I was getting into the heavy work, BAM- it was over ! As funny as it sounds, giving birth naturally boosted my self esteem so much because I never thought I could do it.
And guess what - its so true what they say. You dont even remember the pain as soon as you see your precious child and they place him or her into your arms for that first time....You feel like you are floating. Well ...I did anyways :-) My husband even says he cant believe my face from one second to the next- from a face filled with pain and fear to the biggest smile he ever saw me have ! So don't be afraid, yes it does hurt, but its nothing your body isnt made to handle. And when its over and you see that baby- youll think damn ! Im awesome.

I personally think the worst part of the labor is your own mind... I was the same way as you but I was fine and so will you be. The worst thing for me was I was in labor (first stage) for over 16 hours! But then I was in hard labor for maybe a half hour. Focus on your happy place and you'll be just fine! Good luck!

Every birth is different. I would not worry too much. I think as long as you relax and let the experience happen, you will be ok. Find what focuses you at this point in time and use that during your birthing process. Take a birthing class as it will be very beneficial to be prepared and learn different breathing methods and different focusing methods. I found that playing instrumental music was beneficial to focusing me and so I had it playing in the birthing room. It made my birthing process a lot easier. You need to find something that focuses you though. whether it be a picture that you have in the room with you, or music or just a breathing exercise. There are a lot of different ways to do this and not any one way will work for everyone.

I hope you have a wonderful experience and a quick birthing. Take care and don't get to stressed about this. Stress is not good for you or your baby this close to the end.

D. P.

From what I understand, labor is different for everyone. It may help your fear to hear positive birth stories. I am reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" right now for that reason. Even if you aren't planning a natural childbirth, hearing stories from women who have been through childbirth and saw in a positive way will help your frame of mind going into the experience. The first part of the book is the stories, the second part is a description of what happens to your body during child birth (I haven't gotten to that yet.). So far, it's empowering and calming my anxiety over choosing natural child birth for this baby. I hope it can help you too.

Best of luck on a peaceful birth experience!

I had my first with an epidural~6 hours, pain in the beginning and vomiting during the middle of it.

I had my second all natural, vaginal, with no drugs whatsoever, it took less than 10 minutes because the second one is supposed to take less time and epidurals slow down the process, it was so very painful, but i tell you. Your body takes over and does the job, its scary and youll find bravery and tolerance you never thought you had.

contractions feel like vice grips on the internal structure, they get worse the farther they go along, it will feel like you need a serious lower back rub, (and you might). Breathing really does help, practice deep breathing and do kegals now to practice. Pushing doesnt hurt nearly as bad as the contractions.Once you get the head out you are home free, and its a very slippery....warm sensation followed by the most intense euphoria of your life!

now....in my best announcer voice i must say

"your experience may vary"

Every pregnancy is different. Be prepared for some pain, once you have dialated so much they will use an epidural on you. The pain isn't completely gone but does help. I was in with my daughter when she gave birth, she arrived at hospital at 3:00pm. they put epidural in around 6-7pm. Contractions started quite heavily around the 8pm and just shortly after 9pm. with some pushing, out came my sweet little grandaughter who weighed 8lbs 13oz, its nice to have someone with you (if hubby cant' be, but I'm sure he will be) just to help and be there for you, its comforting. When they tell you to push, take a deep breath and push. This may go on for 1/2hr to 1hr. You cant' really rely on other ppls. judgement although they all help. Don't listen to horror stories, think of the pleasures' of holding that little one in your arms' for the first time. What a beautiful ending to labor itself. "Life" and he/she is yours and hubbys' to hold in your arms'. Good luck, don't panic, it will all come as naturally as it can. Congrats to you and hubby!!

Everyone experiences labor in a different way, in fact most people that have several kids will tell you that each delivery was different. My point is, read as much as you can about the process and let it just happen. Dont stress yourself out over it because your experience will probably not be what you think. I have two kids, my first was hell on earth. I was induced twice, after about 30 hours of labor and pushing 2 hours I ended up in a c section. I was in the hospital for a week with an infection in my uterus etc etc. The second was a scheduled c section, that was much much easier. If you are concerned with pain then have an epidural.
My bet is if you go a full 40 weeks you will be so tired and ready to have that baby you wont care if it hurts. You will be like "Just get this baby out of me already" LOL

When I was 5 months prego with my first baby my SIL had her first child. Right after she delivered him I walked into the delivery room to see her. I found her sitting up drinking juice saying to me "T. it wasn't that bad!"
I thought WOW if she just delivered an almost 9 lb baby and she says it's not that bad, I guess I don't have too much to worry about! That one sentence put my mind at ease for the remainder of my pregnancy. Guess what...she was right it wasn't that bad at all!
Everyone is going to give you their stories, some will be good and some will be really bad. Don't dwell on the bad stuff, you shouldn't even listen to it...it will just make you more scared. Women have been giving birth forever and live to tell about it. Don't be afraid...as soon as the labor is over and your baby is out, you will forget the pain and will be so happy to hold your little one. Everyone's experience is totally different, one thing is for sure it will hurt, but "IT"S NOT THAT BAD."
I've had 3 children all with epidurals (thank God) and would do it all again if I had to, it's totally worth it.

It's painful - but that's what they make epidurals for. An epidural can take away all your pain, if you're open to one, so nothing to be scared of.

Giving birth is the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced. Enjoy it, you lucky girl.

no matter what your going to be scared, it's scary to go through. i had my son premature because my fluid was to low and i was induced. hopefully you don't go through that i almost lost my life and my son's life while in labor because of low low fluid. honestly i think labor hurts, but it is the qorst pain you'll never remember. you will remember going through it but not remember how badly it hurt. think of it this way it's just a little pain to go through for your child. once you have the baby none of it will matter, you'll be overwhelmed with happiness and nothing else will matter. but the epidural is an amazing thing

Dear C.,

I have had two drug-free, all-natural labors. They were the most challenging things that I have ever done, but also the most empowering, transformational, life-changing events of my life. I wouldn't change it for the world! Feel free to message me if you like - I would love to encourage you.

It sounds like you (and your hubby, of course) could really benefit from the help of a good doula. Have you considered that option? I would really encourage you to consider that option.

Blessings!
D.

It's different for each person because most of it is psychological. If I was you, I'd start reading up on how to approach labor. For starters, if you fear it and fight it, it will just hurt more. So, you need to figure out how to remain calm and "go wit " each contraction. I'd also read up as much as possible on what is going on, as the more you focus on the process, the less you focus on the pain. With my second child, I wanted to see him so badly that I was hyper aware of myself dilating. It was painful enough that I couldn't move, but I was so excited about it that I welcomed it--if that makes any sense. It really wasn't bad at all, a 2 on a pain scale.

Each one is different. Nobody on here can tell you what it is going to be like because we don't know what you will experience. All three of mine were different, and, all of my friends' were different. Some good, some a little scary. Just relax, and, congratulations on your baby. :)

The best thing for you is to be prepared. It sounds like you may want to take some labor classes. You have several options...but once you get to the hospital, they are limited. I've had both an emergency cesarean and a vbac delivery - so here is my advice based on my experiences.

Most doctors are quick to do cesareans. Namely: because they are typically routine. The whole procedure is finished within about 30 minutes. No waiting for you to dilate, no coaching you through your pushing, etc. It's easy for them and more profitable. So if you find yourself in a situation where the doctor is suggesting or possibly insisting on a cesarean, hold your ground. Cesareans take longer to recover from, are major surgery, leave a scar & sometimes a "shelf" on your abdomen, could have complications like blood clots, and you don't get to hold or bond with your baby until your anesthesia wears off which is between 45-120 minutes. That being said, cesareans can be life-saving. So if your baby's heartrate or blood pressure (or yours) or somehting are a big concern, make the right decision.

As for labor.

Once your have an epidural, it's virtually pain free. There are many who say the epidural medication is toxic (probably true), causes migraines later after the birth, etc. I had an epidural with my vbac and I can't imaging delivering w/o one. So weigh your options there.

I've never had a totally natural birth, but know many who have. I have a friend who is a music therapist and doula. She coaches pre-birth, prepares a music assist soundtrack which you listen to weeks prior to the delivery and envision the process, practicing the motions of delivery with the timing of the music. It has shown to decrease anxiety, increase speed, keep you calm, etc.

I also have a sister-in-law that recently delivered her third baby completely naturally using hypno-birth. Basically, she listens to a pre-recorded music/coaching tape for several weeks prior. At the point she is sure she is in labor, she turns the tape on (ipod) and self-hypnotises herself so she can handle the pain. She said it was painful, but as if she was in a haze the whole time, completely in control, and it was fast! From the time she walked through the hospital doors it was 21 minutes till the baby arrived. Plus, if you go natural, you may not have to have an IV - so you can get up from the bed, soak in the hot-tup, walk around. AND leave the hospital earlier after the birth.

I have a cousin who did a water birth at home for her first child. She loved it. Said it was so spiritual and calming. And she was already home, so no packing, uncomfortable driving afterward, etc. Just back into routine immediately.

If you opt for the typical expectation: pitosin to speed things up, epidural to block the pain, nurse/doctor assisted delivery - you just need to be aware of what could happen outside of the plan. The plan is just to get the baby out once you are dilated to a 10. They will have you push during contractions...which you won't be able to really feel, but can watch them on the monitor. You can expect it to take between 3-36 hours, be told what to do, not really know what to expect. Etc. The doctor probably won't ask your permission to do things, like an episiotomy. They just assume that they are in charge of the whole process and you are going to listen to them. Listen to your body and be the one in charge.

Maybe you should watch some video testimonials on YouTube about different birthing options so you can make more informed decisions.

Good luck!

OK sweetie, one word: Epidural. No joke. I have one little girl, gave birth in 2007 and i still remember every moment of those two days and it was painful and horrible untill i got my spinal tap. After that everything was smooth sailing. I wanted to erect a statue in honor of the German doctor who invented the Epidural. But even though it was tough, I hear that it gets easier if you want to have more children. And when its all done and you get to hold your little one for the first time, its all worth it. Its like you overcame a cross country marathon and won first place. The feeling is so wonderful. Also, try to listen to your favorite tunes when your in labor, it helps. =) Congrats on your bundle of joy!

Everybody's labor exspirience is different! All I can say is I hope yours goes by quick and smooth! I was in labor for 23 hours and I 2 of that was just pushing. I thought pushing would be pretty easy because when I first got to the birthing center he was already at a 1 or a 2 and I was 5 cm. Boy, was I wrong. Also, for most people when you get an epidural, you'll feel perfectly fine. Weeeell, mine got messed up and caused pain in my back that was worse than the actual labor pains! It was horrible! And the didn't fix it until about 5 or 6 hours before he was born. They thought I was exagerating. Ugh. But when its all said and done, You'll have your baby in your arms and you labor will just be a memory!! Congrats and good luck!

You know, nobody can really explain it to you. It's one of those things you just can't totally grasp until you do it. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do. BUT, it is the most rewarding thing ever. It hurts, of course. Your stomach cramps really hard and tight. Perhaps you've had some braxton-hicks contractions already. Like that, only way more. And, there is pressure as your body is changing to accomadate the passage of the baby through the birth canal. I always found that the moment the baby is born, all the pain is gone and euphoria takes over. Such joy, such gladness, and hope, and emotion. Ah, it's wonderful! But, it's hard to get to that point. And, oh so worth every minute. Enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy. Enjoy those kicks and swishy movements. I miss that part. Talk to your baby, love your baby. And, don't panic. Relaxing really does help you get through the tough part. Oh, and as soon as you think, "I CANNOT do this anymore!" your baby is just about to be born. So hang in there!

C.,
Congrats! Don't be scared, women have been doing this for millions of years, and its safer now than its ever been. My daughter is almost 7 months now, and I started to panic about labor in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I read all about c-sections, which my doctor refused to do as an elective surgery, watched natural labor, don't do that one!, and thought I was totally prepared.
That was until I was a week past my due date, and my doctor said it was time to induce, or risk problems and complications. It wasn't what I wanted to do, sit in a bed all night, and show up at 3 am! I planned on walking to reduce labor pains and been pretty much unopposed to the epidural.
The whole thing took about 13 hours, from hospital arrival to crying baby, but time really flew by. I made it about 8 hours before giving into an epidural, and then it was easy! Good luck, whichever way it goes. Remember, you can't plan for everything, and every pregnancy/labor is different.

I had a scheduled c-section (son was breech) but I went into labor 6 hours before, so I can share what that was like. You first start feeling like you might be getting your period. Kinda wierd with some cramping. Then gooey stuff comes out pretty regularly. For the first few hours, its not that bad. Its like gas cramps. After a few hours they do start to hurt a lot. More gooey wet stuff comes out. At this point, you may want an epidural. I could not get one until they brought me into the Operating Room but you can get one at any time. Do not be afraid of the needle. It really just feels like a bee sting. After that, you feel awesome. Your body will do the rest. I didn't like the monitor on my belly and asked to have it removed. This might not be an option for you. Also, when they put the IV into your hand, that hurts a lot. I was not ready for labor so I was not ready to handle the pain. I have had lots of friends go through it with no drugs and you never know how your body will react.

I had epidurals and experienced no pain at all. They numbed the area on my back where they inserted the needle, I assume with some kind of topical, so I never felt the epidural needle either. I actually didn't even know I was having contractions unless I looked at the machine that was monitoring them. The insertion of the IV in my hand was the most pain I experienced.

Someone told me beforehand that labor was a lot like having the stomach flu and I found that to be pretty true. It was a lot like having a really crummy case of the stomach flu. I was physically uncomfortable and after a certain point all I was able to do was be in labor, much like when you have the stomach flu and all you can do is vomit. No reading books, no watching tv, no real ability to concentrate on anything but breathing through contractions. My doula pointed out that labor is a finite process, in other words you aren't going to be in labor forever and the best thing to do is try not to think in terms of hours or even minutes, just relax and take it contraction to contraction knowing that there is an end. Which isn't to say that I didn't get frustrated a few times - ESPECIALLY during pushing when everyone kept saying how much I'd moved the baby with this push or that and it was taking what felt like forever. I remember thinking, "These people are LYING to me, if I moved him so damn much he should be here already." I didn't realize that they were able to see him moving down my abdomen and referencing that, I thought they were looking at my vagina and watching his actual head emerge.
So yeah, like the stomach flu, crummy and exhausting but way better than the stomach flu in that when it's all over you have a cute little alien to cuddle.

I suggest reading the book "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way". Even if you decide to get an epidural it helps to really understand what is happening. I use to joke that I wanted my friend to be a surrogate for me b/c I didn't want to go through being pregnant or childbirth. I had a natural childbirth 4 months ago...relaxation is key. I had horrible back labor, but in the end it was worth the discomfort to know I was able to move as necessary to help the process along. In the end I enjoyed my pregnancy (the experience as a whole and not the feet under the ribs and heartburn) and was happy with how the delivery went. I was calm about the process so I truly believe that understanding what was happening each step of the way helped me a lot.

Relax and good luck!

I was induced two days after my due date and took all of 32 hours for induction and labor. I felt some contractions and labor pains and that's when I asked for the epidural and didn't feel anything after that. It took me all of 20 minutes to push my son out. The epidural worked wonders for me if you don't mind having it administered to you.

I was scared too before I delivered but I figured I won't think about it and just let whatever happens happens. Unlike you, I didn't want to know too much about it because for me, the more I know the more nervous I would be.

Good luck and I know you will do just fine.

Giving birth is totally terrifying if you are a first time mom. When people say "you feel like you are dying" I can say I relate definitely with my first daughter. Now, with my second son, once I know I was not going to die, it was much more joyful. I think it also helped my conviction to have a home delivery with the second child. A home delivery made me relaxed and I kind of owned not only my house, space and my delivery but also my body. There were books that I read that had to deal with delivery and how it is an animal experience, how women are somewhat conected to their "inner wolf" and how you should embrace that. I tried to do it and it was an "out of this world experience". Of course it was painful, but some authors said pain is necesary to do the transition from woman to mom... you kind of feel your world falls appart and you end being yourserlf as you know it. You are reborn to anew you and the delivery is only the start of it..... So very good luck in your journey.. Embrace the pain and take advantage of this out of this world experience!

That is really a hard question to ask as everyone handle labor differently.. I have had 2 kids my first I had back labor (which I have a bad back & I thought it was just my back hurting nothing more) but when I went to hospital they went to check me my waterbroke & 7minutes later my daughter was born.... My second I had front labor pains but they were not as bad as some stories Ihave heard & I had her 25min after my water broke.. I do have family memeber tho that have been in labor for days or had to be induced cause labor wasn't progressing.. Don't stress yourself out about it as that will tense your body up & that will make your labor harder cause you can't relax.. Congratulations on your bundle of joy....

Honestly, I was never scared of labor and my two experiences were just fine. It is only a small percentage of deliveries that end up with complications, and even most of those are easily handled at the hospital. I was induced with both of my children--with my first I started leaking amniotic fluid a few days after my due date and did not go into labor on my own, and with my second my water broke just before I hit 37 weeks and again I did not go into labor and was induced. I did end up with an epidural (I tried without the first time and couldn't take it, even though my labors were short) and planned for it the second time.

There are a lot of more natural coping methods, including sitting on a birthing ball (basically a stability ball, but the rocking/bouncing can be soothing and help a lot), sitting in a rocking chair (they brought one into my room at the hospital for me), and sitting in a warm bath (a lot of birth centers have a tub with jets in the room which you can usually use if your membranes have not ruptured).

With my second child, I was given a morphine injection the night before I was induced to help me sleep since they said I wouldn't be sleeping much for a few nights. Honestly, the site of the morphine injection was the most painful part of my delivery and recovery. :)

Every labor and delivery is different so it is hard to know what your own will be like. I think because it is not really optional (one way or another, that baby is going to be coming out) it is easy to face it when it happens. Your body is built to go through it and knows what it is doing, and if you are comfortable with your doctor and have someone you are close to who will be with you to help you stay calm and comfortable, you will do just fine. Pack some things that soothe you for the hospital, like something scented, your own pillow (for after--you want it clean) and some relaxing music. Enjoy the next several weeks!

Hi, the first experience is always nerve wracking as you've obviously not yet experienced it. Regardless of how labor goes, the one joy to keep in mind is the result is your beautiful baby. We just had our 3rd July 14th and I was to be induced that weekend due to gestational diabetes and my "age" which made for an "older" placenta, however, little one decided to land a bit sooner. I had an internal exam and found I was already 3cm as I had been having contractions the night before. Was told she might land sooner. Went on my merry way to do 3 errands. During the 3rd errand I went to the bathroom and lost my plug. Time to go home. By the time I walked through the door, my water broke! Time to call husband.

We headed to the hospital, and they started my iv's. I had to be on antibiotics for Group B strep, since I had tested positive, for 4 hours (they hope to get that many hours in on the antibiotics), my glucose tested high since I forgot to take my meds so they put me on an iv of insulin. Later, we added the epidural and fluids which are given with it. So, lots of iv's from which I'm still dealing with residual swelling in my legs and feet 12 days later, a side effect I certainly wasn't aware of though the intern told me later all the ladies on the floor had some swelling due to the weather.

Contractions for me were coming 3-5 minutes apart, inconsistently; I could feel as well as see my uterus "rise," peak, then fall, and watch on the monitor. At some point I found them becoming more intense and uncomfortable and asked for the epidural. From that point, all numb and tingly; I did develop some crazy itching this time from it, mostly across the stomach and chest, but no pain, just pressure, still able to feel the rise/fall.

5.5 hours in, I could feel baby pressing on my "bottom" and told nurse it was time for me to push. This baby was smaller than my other two, likely due to the very strict diet they had me on with the diabetes, so she literally was born in 10 minutes. I had a tiny tear that required a few stitches from previous episiotomies. Docs were aware I didn't want an epis or c-section unless absolutely necessary.

After they suctioned baby's mouth and nose and NICU team looked her over (again, due to GD risks), they gave her right to me for tummy/nursing time, which I had also said was important to me.

Hi C.,

It is going to be fine!!!! Both of my deliveries were different. My first daughter was out in about 2 pushes. I tell people that I sneezed and she was out. My second daughter was a little longer for pushing, but she was over a pound larger. Also, don't let anyone scare you with horror stories. Everyone is different. My mother told me I was going to curse like a truck driver when I was in labor, but the opposite happened. I was very quiet and if the doctor or nurse asked me to do something and it was not "correct" I kept apologizing. My husband said it was comical! Like I said, you are going to be fine and get through this. Just remember at the end of it all you will have a beautiful baby in your arms!

All the best!

It's totally normal to scared and nervous! You're human! Everyone woman is different just like every pregnancy and delivery is different. I have two children. Two different pregnancies and two TOTALLY different deliveries. My son, the oldest, was pretty bad..not going to lie. He was 9 lbs 2 oz, vaginal delivery. It was rough. But my daughter....Piece-O-Cake!!! I felt AWESOME!! I was ready to do it again! I've talked to plenty of different women and TONS tell me their first delivery was with ease. They were a little sore but other than that they were great. Congratulations on your new bundle. You're going to love every moment of it.

Like many have said, each labor is so different. That in itself can be scary because you don't know what to prepare for. BUT there are things that are likely to happen - being familiar with that is one benefit of a class. Or of a doula, who can reassure you that what is happening is normal.

First, you probably wonder what contractions feel like. That varies, but it can be a tightening, or feel like menstrual cramps, or just a backache. Contractions will be intermittent - last for 30 seconds or up to 90 seconds with a break in between. How long that break is depends where you are in labor. At the end of labor they come every 2-3 minutes.

I think a thorough understanding of the stages of labor helps so much. The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin has a good chapter on that, describing contractions, your emotion, and what is happening in your body for each stage.

A doula would help for reassurance. Even if you have an epidural, the doula will be helpful. I am a doula but would not be available at the end of Aug for your birth. I could help you find one though - message me if you're interested. Cost should not be an issue - there are doulas who work for free or barter or discount.

Hi, C..

It's okay to be scared - it's okay to feel however you feel. Labor is painful and wonderful, intense and empowering. And you CAN do it.

As others have advised, your body is made to have your baby. I suggest you hire a doula - a professional labor assistant who will go with you to the hospital (or wherever you're birthing) to provide information, encouragement, and support. Many scientific studies show that having a doula reduces the need for pain medication, the risk of medical interventions, and leads to greater maternal satisfaction with the birth experience.

I'm a doula in Austin (so obviously I'm biased in favor of doulas!). If you'd like to see what labor is like with a doula, we have a video on our website (www.getbabied.com) you can check out. Good luck, mama!

Steph Scott

It is different for everyone. Im due in 4 months with my 2nd and Im nervous even though I have been through it once. I went in at 37 weeks for a regular check up and my Blood pressure was stroke level so my doctor sent me to the hospital right away to be induced. Before that point I was so anxious to get him out, but when the doctor told me I was having him that day, I got super nervous and didn't want to go through it. I never took any birthing classes by the way. I was induced at 9 am. everything was easy til noon when they made me sit on a birthing ball and my water broke. That is when the pain came. I suggest getting an epideral (its a Godsend) My contractions were ridiculously painful, and I had to deal with them for 3 hours til I got my epidural. After the Epidural, I felt NO pain. I took a nap and had a feeling to push. In 2 hours after the epidual, I was dialated to a 10 and ready to push. The pushing is the easy part in my opinion. They tell you when to push and when to hold your breath. I pushed for 20 mins and had a healthy baby boy. I hope your labor is easy and uneventful.

Well the way I have mentally gotten through both my labors is to realize, it's just one hard day. Then I have a lifetime of happiness with my children. I have done it twice a la natural...so however it goes down, you can totally do it!! The first time, once my son popped out I yelled "Man I can do anything!!" Girl, I don't even remember saying that, I was so high on endorphins!!lol:) My second labor was so much better than my first bc I was confident and took control of it all. I brought music with me, didn't have the tv on at all and just told everyone how I wanted things. Now the first contractions really aren't too bad and if you can have an epidural, I have heard it isn't bad at all. My SIL had an epidural and was sitting there chillin' looking at her baby's hair in the mirror while she waited for the dr, who was doing a c-section! But I will say, even if you go old school like me, you make it through and get the most wonderful thing ever, your baby!! It's going to go fine, and the very best gift you can give yourself is to try not to worry about it, if you can. The day will come, you will go to the hospital, you will get your baby:) Until then, eat drink and be merry!!!!! You are no doubt cute as can be with a big ole belly and you still have over a month, so no worries!! There is a book called Fearless Pregnancy, that I read both times and loved. I am sure you can find it online and it gives great wisdom and advice. It is written by a medical dr, a midwife and a mom, so check that out if you have time. Good luck and congratulations!!

Dear C.-

Congratulations!! You are nearly there.

That being said, if you have not already, I would look into taking some sort of training. This may be Lamaze, Hypnobirthing, the Bradley method... some type of class or course that can provide you with factual information about birth and the birth process. Each birth is individual but there are certain steps that everyone's body must go through and there are certain telltale signs for each step.

On a site like this, you will get a lot of advice about "doing" labor one way or another. No one way is right and no one way is wrong. You need to find the best fit for you.

For me, I chose the Bradley method. I also birthed in a hospital, although my husband and I considered homebirth as my pregnancies were both "normal" and without complications, and we hired a doula. This last step, hiring a doula, I would recommend to EVERYONE!! I birthed at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, NJ and they have a program with "in-house" doulas. These same doulas also teach their birthing classes (and I know they run weekend courses so you are not too late yet to catch a class...)

This website provides a good idea of the stages of labor including transition.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-stages-of-labor_177.bc

I recall from my classes that transition is generally the hardest stage. It has been documented that it is at this point that nearly all women say "I can't do this." With my first delivery, I never expected to utter those words, but I did and I nearly lost my focus when it happened. My husband and I both knew we were getting pretty close to being first time parents at that point and I think we both got momentarily scared! lol!

For me laboring was a very centered and focused activity. I spent a lot of time rocking on my hands and knees. I also responded very poorly to being touched unless I asked for a wet wash cloth. My huband and doula just had to follow my verbal clues - take it off when I cried I was cold, put it on when I cried I was hot. I also asked a lot for counter-pressure which is the palms of my hubby's hands just above my hips, close to my spine, in about my kidney area pushing in and outward at the same time. It helps rotate the hips out and open. (We practiced the positioning a lot in class but did not actually apply it until labor.) I did not respond well to being spoken to unless it was my husband or doula and they had to be close and whisper softly but firmly into my ears. I kept my eyes closed the whole time too. I would visualize opening up like a flower, being wide and open. I would also visualize the ocean, surging in and out - much like my rocking.

You should also find out in class about the signs of oncoming labor - things like increased thirst, reduced appetite, sometimes the runs - all these things are your body making room and opening up.

Lastly, you should learn about interventions, the pros, the cons and how and why certain interventions lead to others. For example, an epi may dull the pain, but it can dull your ability to push too which results in longer labor. It can also reduce and dull your baby's body as well resulting in reduced fetal heart rate/movements. This leads to increased monitoring and if baby is not "tolerating" labor well, then the doctor may get more aggressive with an internal monitoring and then if they do not like the results of that, it can lead to c-section. I state this more as a general "cascade of interventions" and not to scare you. In some cases, these interventions are necessary. However, it should be noted that in general, they are overused and even abused.

Labor and delivery is not scarey. Fear will reduce and restrict your body's natural functions and will cause you to close down, so don't be scared. It is miraculous! It does not need to be chaotic like the movies. There is pain, but the body, if allowed to ramp up with the labor process, can tolerate it. It's not all peaches and cream, but it is managable with the right support and knowledge.

Good luck in choosing the best option for you, your baby and your new family!!
~C.

Don't be scared!! My husband and I had our first baby 8 months ago - and I know exactly what you're going through. We had decided to try Hypnobabies for our birthing method - I ended up being induced a week early, so all the techniques that we had learned to "ease into" childbirth really weren't working as planned. I managed to make it to 8cm before getting an epidural because I was just exhausted.
I'm not sure if anyone else felt this same way - but before the epidural when I was having a contraction, it felt like there was a balloon being blown up in my abdoment - and then it felt like the air was slowly being let out - and that really the only time I felt any 'pain.' Once I had an epidural though, the only thing that I was really worried about was falling off the bed! I couldn't feel anything below my waist and the nurses had put my bed at a slight angle to see if gravity would help my labor progress some.
Don't listen to any of the horror stories that people always seem to want to share - your birthing experience is going to be SPECIAL and your own - just because someone else may have had a not-so-perfect experience, doesn't mean that yours won't be magical and amazing. Have FAITH in your body. One of the first things we learned in our Hypnobabies class was that your body already knows instinctively what it needs to do to birth your baby - even if you don't do anything. You will be fine! Good luck :) and I hope you are able to relax and enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy before you welcome your little one into this world!

When I was pregnant with my first I was absolutely TERRIFIED to be in labor and give birth. I would literally have panic attacks just thinking about what it was going to be like and was convinced I would have a panic attack when I was in labor, but the complete opposite happenend. Yes, the contractions were extremely uncomfortable and I had back labor which I hear is even worse, but I have nothing to compare it to so I don't know. I was very calm throughout the whole process, it was like I became a different person. Luckily everything went by fast for me, I was in active labor for 8 hours, had an epidural after 4 hours ( I highly recommend if you have a low tolerance for pain) and pushed for about 20 minutes before my son was born. Now when I look back on that day, through the pain and everything from start to finish it was the best experience of my entire life. I often think back to that day and actually miss it. I am 7 months pregnant and am actually looking forward to going through the experience again. Good luck with your labor and delivery and try not to worry too much, you are going to be fine!!!

Being terrified of birth is a surefire way of having a scary birth full of interventions. Get thee to a birth class right away. I would suggest Birthing from Within or an out of hospital class, that doesn't just focus on how to be a good patient. You are very close to your due date, which isn't ideal, so you might need to schedule a private class. It is WELL worth the investment. And then on your own do some reading.

Sure! I can only tell you what mine was like, but yours might be totally different! My water broke at midnight, which felt like a balloon popping inside me (and I actually heard it pop! that was cool). Early labor felt like mild menstrual cramps coming and going. I slept through a few hours of it because it was pretty mild, then took a shower and went to the birth center.

The menstrual cramp feeling got more intense but there was always a break in between, which was nice. I danced with hubby (we brought music) through the more intense contractions, made some noise when I felt I needed too and kept my eyes closed, that seemed to help. At times I felt I wanted to hang from monkey bars or something, so instead I dangled from hubby's neck. Not sure how he felt about that.... anyhoo, as I got closer to being fully dilated I sort of lost touch with the people and things going on in the room. Time stood still for a while and I was sort of in an altered state. I had my husband turn the music off because I very suddenly felt that I needed absolute silence in the room so I could concentrate (I love how everyone gives in to the demands of a laboring woman, hee hee).

Popsicles fed to me by hubby were much appreciated. Moving all around the room was extremely helpful. Resting between contractions (and I mean REALLY letting go and resting) was essential. Just go slack and conserve your energy for the next one.

At times I felt like I was running a marathon & was being pulled along the race course even though I was tired and wanted to walk a while. That was transition. Hardest part of labor. Think back to your hardest workout at the gym, then multiply by 2. The nice thing about transition is that it's also the shortest part of labor, and when it's over, things get easier!

Well, sort of. Things feel totally different once you start pushing. Ever go to the gym and do a bunch of bicep curls to the point of fatigue, and then you do tricep work? Even though your arms are tired it feels nice just to work a different muscle, right? that's what transitioning over to pushing felt like. The sensations were totally different, so even though I was tired I was very relieved to feel something different. I made a lot of noise while pushing because I felt I needed to expel the build up of energy. It literally felt like an enormous amount of energy was mounting inside me and I needed to yell to get it out. Well, yell or push the baby out, one or the other. She took a while to descend but when she did, boy was I surprised. I didn't expect it to feel like... THAT. Wow. Just intense. Don't know how else to describe it. Magical. UNBELIEVABLE. I literally could not believe what was going on between my legs. It just didn't seem possible! By the way you don't know how to properly push until you happen to do it correctly and then you go, "OH, that's what I was supposed to be doing for the past 2 hours!" If you feel like you're going to poop you're probably doing it right!!

Crowning was painful for me, burning/stinging, but it didnt last long. She came out crying, god love her. Umbilical cord was too short for me to hold her to my chest so I put her on my leg and looked down while my husband came over to give her her first hug. I did tear, and did require stitches. That part hurt a bit even though they numbed me first, but again it was quick. She latched on and fed about 30 minutes after she was born. Most people say you forget what childbirth was like but I made a concious effort to remember mine (went over it in my mind everyday for weeks, wrote about it), pain, exhaustion and all, because overall it was an amazing day and I feel lucky to have had the experience. Congratulations to you and best of luck!!!

Hi C.! I agree with Julie...the more you focus on the process the better. Both my deliveries started with a kind sore back ache that feels like when you have exercised and the next day your lower back is sore. My first delivery I was more in control because I was focused and I felt like I could control my breathing and such. My second, I was worried about my first child being with her aunt that she had just seen. (that delivery came a little earlier than expected so my mom wasn't there yet to help me and I was not concentrating on what was happening to me) so the labor was much more intense. Try and relax as much as possible in between contractions and when you have one focus on what you need to do or what the doctor is telling you. I too was a grunter and in grunting down I broke a molar...so be careful. Both my kids were natural and I would not change a thing looking back. It is all about you and your preparation for it! Good luck to you, you'll do great! hugz

If you haven't already, I highly reccommend taking a birthing class. And although when the times comes, things can be overwhelming, try to stick to what you were taught. I wanted to go the natural route. I made it till about 7-8 cm, then I was begging for an epidiral. At which point is was too late. Looking back though, I am kind of glad. Because it hurts so bad, I pushed so hard, that my son was out in 3 pushes! But I made it, and i really think the class helped alot. And it couldn't have been that horrible, because we are trying for baby #2 now.
You will do fine- we all do.