I'm a Livid Mom W/a 17 Yr Old Son

Sounds like a normal mom reaction to seeing her little boy all beaten up.

Do they box with gloves? That sounds like an extreme amount of damage from a little boxing. I would ask the school what the normal boxing protocol is. Don't get all angry with the school, it would be too bad if all boxing is banned because of one mother. As long as it is done with normal boxing regulations, it should be allowed, if it's a school sport. Sometimes parents make things so safe that kids are never allowed to do anything any more.

Meantime, beating each other up (in a loving way) is what boys do. My son and his friends used to throw each other all over the place on the lawn out front of the school. My son still has a sore knee from that.

I would sign him up for boxing or mixed martial arts classes. Redirect that energy where it can be monitored. And I would let the school know what is going on while they aren't paying attention, before someone gets really hurt. The next kid might not be so lucky and you have the knowledge that this is going on - so please inform them.

wow......do you know that most sparing gloves are for a bag, most but not all of them have metal bars in them. We come from a family of boxing and this is what kids do when not monitored. I am sorry your sons face is so beat up. But I am going to ask you a question...If someone does not call the school, what if the next boy gets killed doing this.They did not have head gear on?? thats like not wearing a life jacket on a boat. They seem like they are acting like the UFC. Even those fighters are monitored. You need to stop this insane fighting. What does the other boy look like?? Is he ok??? I mean as a parent of a child that is not 18 its your job to call the school.

Wow, I would not be pleased either. he is so lucky he was not been hurt any worse.

If he is a good kid, makes good grades has not had any previous events like this, to this degree, I would hope he has learned his lesson.Plus the damage to his face for the next few weeks (take photos).

I would suggest you ground him in some way instead of continuing to harp on him. Make it something pretty tough. like a 10:00 pm curfew for the first 2 weeks of summer break. Or take away his car. Whatever works for you.

Also ask him if he thought this was a good thing to do. Ask him if he thinks he would ever do something like this again. Remember in another year he will be in college and be involved in a lot of shenanigans you are never going to know about. It was a ridiculous and juvenile thing to do.

Remember, this was HIS choice. HE made the decision to participate. If you turn in the other guys, your son will also be suspended for participating... Doesn't he have finals next week? How will it affect his GPA..

Let him know you are shocked at his lack of common sense. Let him know you have lost some respect and trust in him. Let him know he is going to have to gain it back. Tell him HE needs to tell the male members of the family. Hopefully they will each want to have a talk with him about how disappointed they are in him also..

It could be a long torturous summer and then senior year in the fall, if you cannot get past this.
I am sending you strength.

I would not contact the school. This was a decision that your son made and now he has to live with. As far as making bad decisions, I know I made my fair share, but he is old enough to learn his own lessons. I bet if you wait a few weeks and then discuss it with him he will agree that it was a pretty stupid idea. If he likes the thrill of boxing see what you can do to support him (even though it is a tough choice for any parent) and see about getting him some actual boxing lessons so things like that don't happen again. If it is something he does want to go after you are his mother and will have to support him (even if you don't want too!). Watching our kids take blows like this is very hurtful and we don't always understand why they do what they do. Every kid makes a bad choice that is how we learn to make the right ones.

I wouldn't be too hard on him for this one. Good luck!

If the boys are being trusted to use the school facitlites to work out, they should still have supervision, so the school could be in a tough spot. Weights are dangerous and can cause serious injury. It really surpises me that they would be allowed to workout without a trained adult being present.

I also cannot imagine any school allowing boxing, given the nature of it, and it would just seem incomprehsable that a school would ever consider collecting consent from a parent to allow another minor to hit them in the face.

I would call the school, while the boys may be suspended, maybe they should, and certainly, you should insist that the school re-evaluate the safety of letting young men work out without supervison on school property. It does not sound to me like that is a wise thing for the school to allow, and you could hold them responsible if he were to have been severly injured.

M.

Yes, you have every right to be scared, angry, upset as you are his mother and you love him. One of the scariest things is to realize we cannot protect our kids from everything. Apart from our daughter, we had a foster child in our care from age 12 til she was 19, and I cannot tell you the days / weeks / years I spent lying awake feeling completely helpless and 2nd guessing myself.
My advise: Sometimes you need to stop thinking and worrying and wondering... and just listen.
Remember, he is your son and you are his mother. You've raised him and you know him better than anybody. Go sit in your son's room, ask him to tell you his side of the story, promise you will listen without judgement. Remain calm, no matter what he says - you can cry in the bathroom afterwards if you need to. If he really as psych issues, this is your best chance of hearing about them.
If your son feels he can be honest and open with you and that he can trust you not to "freak out", you might make a lot more progress. Otherwise, the situation might lead to avoiding behaviour, he will just start lying and hiding things from you.
ASK (don't tell) him if he understands why you worry about him being hurt like this. Ask him to suggest ways to deal with this in the future. Ask him if he would like to sign up for supervised boxing or martial arts classes.
Keep in mind that we all did stupid things at 17. He might not have an acceptable reason why he did it, it could've just seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anyways, good luck. Just know - you are a MOM, you can do this!!

M.,
I think I'm going against the current's flow here but if this is not extreme boxing, and it is a sport that he likes to do why don't you just support him. I know that it wasn't the best choice or decision he made but he has to learn from his mistakes. I would not call the school, but I would've sent him to school! I would've given him two tylenol's/motrin and on his way he went!!! Let him explain everyone in school what happened to his face.
Listen, boxing is a sport, not my favorite either, but a legal sport. It is better than him getting involved with gangs and drugs. Maybe he will become a great boxer!!! Don't take me wrong, I am a mother of two boys, and I would not like them to do it, but if that is the sport they like to do, I'll support them.
Aside from that, all I have to say is pray! pray that this may be a phase in his life and that it won't be for long, or that he will be the best at it if he so wants to do it.
Blessings.

Hi-

I don't have any teenagers yet but I was a high school teacher for several years before staying at home. First as others have said, if he likes the sport of boxing so much, by all means get him signed up for a boxing or martial arts class so he can learn to do it the right way. Second, does your son's school have an anonymous tip line of some sort? Our school had one that the kids or parents could call about anything from feeling suicidal to knowing that something was going on at school or knowing of a bomb threat, etc. Kids fighting on school property is a huge problem. When someone does get seriously hurt (and they will) the kids involved will face charges and the school will most likely be sued by the parent of the victim for not stopping it. I think you need to find some way to let the principal know this is going on so that he can monitor the area and put a stop to it.

Good luck,
K.

Whooooooaaaa! This is crazy. What would you do if the "event" had taken place outside of the school? I think that's what you should do in this situation. Think about contacting the school. This could have been WAY more serious. Is it going to take someone to get really, seriously hurt before this is a supervised work out room?
I think looking at himself every day s going to make your point for you.
Good luck!

Have you asked him WHY he thinks this is "fun"? And why he does this??? Just curious what he's thinking... There are classes, boxing or martial arts classes he can take if iterested to better channel the "energy"... Also, I would definitely call the school - before someone gets hurt... Good luck and hang in there.

If it was one of friends he spared with why don't you contact that friends parents first since I am sure the other child went home with bruises and signs of fighting also. I am not sure that it in neccessary to punish him I think he is punished already with the fact that he has disappointed so many people and what did not seem like a big deal at the time to your son he realizes is a big deal. He did not get in a regualr school fight because a kid was picking on him he made a decision to have a boxing match 2 rounds and he and the other kid set ground rules. I think as a mother I would br freaked out too but to have him consult with psych I think is a little much. MMA and fighting sports are really big now not just with boys. As another person suggested you may want to talk to him and if he is interested in fighting as sport sign him up for boxing or ju-jitsu. But let him know that fighting in any other place than at a studio for sport is not acceptable and he could face crimal prosecution in the future.

If I were you I wouldn't call the school. You don't need them to punish your kids for this act. You are taking care for it! "Good Grades and never miss school" The school might not have any choice than to kick him out for fighting. Keep him there for his future.

If the gym is unsupervised that means the school is not responsible or liable for injuries, it becomes a "use at your own risk" facility, sort of like a pool with no life guard, if you drown that your problem. If there is a boxing ring the kids are using and there is no trainer and they aren't getting lessons it would stand to reason that the kids are going to get hurt. I would pretty much guarantee that somebody will get hurt.
So in my opinion you have a couple of options:
1) Don't allow him to use that facility anymore and pay for a gym membership/personal trainer so that he is monitored and supervised, not to mention some boxing lessons since he seems to enjoy it.
2) Accept the fact that he might/will get hurt and allow him to continue using the facility at his own risk.
17 year old boys think they are indestructable. They have a "it can't happen to me" attitude about them that is hard to break. Teenagers in general have a hard time with consequences and seeing the future or what might happen later. And when you combine that with the feeling of being indestructable, it becomes a dangerous combination. But, as far as development goes, at least in boys, it's entirely normal and something that needs to be worked through.
I don't think it requires calling the school nor do I see the point of a psych evaluation because, from my perspective, it's entirely normal. (I've seen more than enough teenage boys try to get themselves killed.) The school is simply going to tell you that they are not responsible for injuries that occur in the gym because the gym is an unsupervised facility and if they have boxing ring in there, injuries associated with boxing would be expected. If you find it unsafe then my suggestion is simply to find an alternative to it.
Good luck!

.

My ex hubby boxed before he met me. His mother never liked it and he still did it. It was his way to get rid of his aggressivity /tension. Plus he really liked it as a sport, he competed and watched it on tv. But he was not a victim of it, he chose it, so I would make sure your son is not a victim of other "friends" that are bullies and with the excuse of boxing like to go out beating other boys up...Good luck!

First, I would contact HHS. They obviously don't know what's going on. Talk to the principal and or guidance counselor. they aren't going to want this to be happening on school property.

I think your son probably grasps the fact that this isn't acceptable and the ER visit may have made him realize there are dangerous consequences. As much as moms don't like it boxing is a sport...but they need supervision and proper headgear and gloves! If he actually wants to do this then he needs to be in an actual gym with a coach. We moved up north from Livingston Cty about 5 years ago and I can't think of anywhere that they would have lessons on boxing but maybe in Washtenaw Cty???

At least he isn't doing this other ridiculous thing called 'tapping'. It was just on the news up here last night explaining how boys will punch/kick other boys in the groin! For fun!!!! OMG. I was totally disgusted. They had a family on with the 14yr old who had to have surgery to remove a testicle. A ped. urologist was interviewed from Duluth pleading with the parents to talk to their boys about how this is dangerous and they may think it's funny but it's causing serious damage! If it's happening in their school/at home/whereever they need to tell their parents/teachers. He's done 9 surgeries over the past few months!!!

Good luck to you.