Ignoring

I would try ignoring him and when he realizes how annoying/ disrespectful it can be use it as an oppertunity to talk about it and tell him if he won't listen to you then you are not goin to listen to him.

Ok first off, are you sure he is hearing you? If so, then ask him what was said to him.........see if he can repeat it.......is he hearing exactly what you are asking or saying............if so, then tell him he obviously wants to be left alone, so send him to his room..........

Now with that said, if he likes being sent to his room, this is bad! I had a son who would hear you and ignore you......he knew exactly what was ask and what we wanted.......we ended up igoring him when he wanted to talk or wanted to tell us something that wasn't an emergency............he would get so mad!!! And I would sit down and tell him, now you know why we get upset.........and explain we tell you things so you don't get hurt, or hurt someone or whatever the reason is..........he got better, but then started it again..........so we started taking away things he liked to do or liked to play with..........he finally got it......with alot of patience and alot of talking......( I believe he later referred to them as lectures.) but they really weren't.........just concern.....

Hang in there, keep trying till you find his weakness, and you will..........take care.

If you ask him to do something, and he doesn't do it, what do you do? Do you ask again? Do you ask a third time? Then when you get mad and head for him, does he do what you ask? if so, this is his way of telling you that he's learned that you won't do anything until the third, possibly fourth time you ask. You have actually trained this behavior. It's simple to break him of this. When you or hubby ask him to do something and he doesn't respond, GET UP and go to him, take him by the hand if necessary, and have him do it. This teaches him that if he doesn't do whatever, there's going to be an immediate response, not another request he can ignore.

put him in time out.. and make sure he stays there.. i tell my kids they can come out of time out when they are ready to listen.. and talk to me.. otherwise they stay in time out... ... good luck..

Have you tried explaining to him that it's "bad manners" to ignore someone when they are talking to you?

No I do not mean that in a bitchy way :)
I'm serious, My son does that from time to time. I always try to let him know what is considered good & bad manners.
Interrupting = bad
please & thank you = good.

Every kid is different though.
When he is "ignoring" you is he looking at something specific, i.e the TV or a toy??

I would figure out what he really loves to do in a day and let him know ahead of time that if he ignores you he will not be allowed to do that certain thing. Make sure it is something he really loves! It will take a couple of times, but he will get the message. Just don't waver - ever - and make sure you give him a significant amount of time away from his favorite thing.

Quick examples, my first son hated to be away from us, so if we put him in his room he thought it was total torture (we never did the counting, just physically picked him up and walked him to his room). With my second boy he loves computer games (so does his brother), so we do not allow him to play them or even watch his brother play them as punishment. I can't stand it and changes his behavior immediately. We do not yell or freak out, just follow through on the consequence.

The biggest thing is to do every thing calmly, I try not to let them see me get upset because they work it even more. I also make sure I never cave, the second I cave they pick up the poor behavior again.

Good luck!

All kids try the ignoring thing. All of them.
Here's a simple test....go into another room and start whispering something to your husband. I'm 99% sure your son will hone in on it. They pretend they can't hear, but just try saying something you don't want them to hear and they have perfect hearing.
Getting at eye level, making him make eye contact and repeating what you say are awesome.
I always made my kids repeat what I said so there was no excuse for not "hearing" me. And, if they pretended I was talking to the wall instead of them, they could stand in the corner and stare at a wall until they decided their ears were functioning properly.
It might sound mean, but I found it effective, I ignored my kids right back. "Mom, can I have a drink?" I acted like I couldn't hear them. They didn't like it. My son used to say, "Mommy, you're annoying me." He meant ignoring. And, yes I was. I told them I felt the same way when they pretended they didn't hear me ask them to put their shoes away or pick up their toys. Listening works both ways.

To me, it sounds like your son is normal and trying the "I can't hear you" thing. Like I said, if he hears you when it's something fun, there is no hearing problem involved and it takes no hearing skills to stand in a corner. No sitting, no laying down, no going to his room, standing in a corner for a few minutes can cure a myriad of issues.
I can't remember now what I did, but I was little and it couldn't have been very bad. My mom was SUPER strict so I didn't dare get too out of line. She sent me to the corner one day and told me to stay there until I learned a few things. So, I'm standing there and I'm thinking....I said, "Can I come out now? I've learned one thing, I've learned 2 things, I've learned 3 things, I've learned 4 things, I've learned 5 things....." I just started counting. My mom couldn't keep a staight face and let me out, AND complimented me on my counting skills. (I could count really high). She still tells that story.
Anyway, there are a few different techniques to try and letting your son know that ignoring you won't be accepted is really all it takes. Just be consistant.

Best wishes.

Sounds like a 3 1/2 year old that has figured out what button to push. Eye contact is very important. It is a necessary social skill. Once you say his name, and you know he has heard you, if he doesn't make eye contact send him to timeout. He obviously knows what you want him to do so drop the 123 thing. The next five things he asks you for you tell him no and then remind him that he didn't respond to you when you called.

What a fine aspiration. Positive, respectful communication is important for raising positive, respectful children, and teaching by example is so much more effective than rules, demands or nagging.

Not to alarm, but a discomfort with eye contact can be one signal of an autism-spectrum disorder, which can become apparent sometime during toddlerhood. Other indicators would also need to be present.

But assuming this is just normal behavior (and it probably is), there are things you can do to respectfully capture your son's attention and compliance.

You don't have to demand eye contact, and if the communication gets stuck on that one point, you may not progress much past it. (I was never comfortable with eye contact as a kid, especially when a dominant person was staring at me.) He will probably hear you even without the eye contact, especially if you keep your voice soft. Less force rather than more force may be more effective – try it. He's not a wall, though he may wish he were sometimes.

Keep in mind that kids in this age group are quite reasonably involved in their own lives, time-frames, and activities. Busy parents tend to overlook this and manipulate their children's activities early and often. So be sure to give him advance notice when you'll be wanting him to switch activities. Think about how hard it is when you're in the middle of something and somebody makes a demand that they expect you to fulfill instantly. You'd much rather have time to wind up what you're doing. And if this happened many times a day, you'd get seriously annoyed. Same for kids.

You can often make what you want him to do much more attractive, too. One way is to participate with him, and obviously enjoy the task. He'll like the company, and will gradually learn that attitude is everything. Or you can turn it into a game. Example: when my grandson was reluctant to stop playing to take a potty break during his early training, I'd ask him to help me clear all the dinosaurs out of the bathroom. He'd drop everything and be there in a flash.

Another way to make "his tasks" more attractive is to quietly acknowledge and admire how well he does them. "Wow, son, your bed looks really neat now that you've put away your cars." or, "I see a boy who really knows how to use good manners." or, "I can see that you've been practicing; look how well you did that." or, "I am delighted with your cooperation this morning."

There is a wealth of wonderful coaching available in my current favorite book by by Faber and Mazlish: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. The methods make for good emotional connections, resulting in happy, cooperative and (mostly) obedient children. Also the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman, and the concept of Emotion Coaching, another term you can google for lots of useful information. (Here's one good link to get you started: http://www.education.com/reference/article/important-pare... .)

Raising a respectful, loving, positive child also requires discipline with all the niceties.
Every single living child I have ever known (and that's a lot) goes through the ignoring stage which is just exactly as you described it.

Treat it like any other very important rule. Enforce it. One calm warning for your child to answer after you have said something, and firm, calm, swift, clear consequence if they decide to ignore you despite the warning.

I agree with Nancy B, don't repeat yourself several times, but I would add the consequence for deliberately defying you just to make the lesson faster. I've seen kids let their parents do things for them repeatedly when they don't do it the second time, and it doesn't always make them learn to react to the request themselves.

It will take no time at all for your child to answer when you remind them once to respond to yourselves or other people talking to them after a couple of discipline episodes. And then it becomes natural to them.

When my kids were first learning this, if they were distracted and busy (but still ignoring and I know they heard me), I would go up and place a hand on their shoulder etc to show that I am completely focused on them, and I calmly say, "Answer". If they didn't, consequence. After one or two times, they would always answer. Now at 2 1/2 and 4 all I have to do is calmly tell them to answer when I have spoken once, and they answer. They answer the first time unless they're legitimately caught up in something. The ignoring habit was nipped before it formed, the most effective way to keep your child positive and respectful.

There doesn't need to be a huge "positive" battle of the wills.Time outs are the most escalation inducing and tantrum indulging "consequences". We like to keep it swifter and firmer, nip bad habits fast, and move on with our positive day.