If the Sex Wasn't Good, Would I Still Be There?

My first question to back to you is, have ya'll ever talked about getting married or has that ever even come up? My opinion is that if your questioning really whether or not you should be with him you really need to take a look and see if he's meeting YOUR needs...not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. Does that make sense. Don't get me wrong, the physical is important and definitely nice to have(especially when it's good), but you have to have more besides just that. Also, something I learned is that sometimes you have to let go of the "great" to get the very "best" God has for you. I'm not saying he's not the right one for you, but YOU need and deserve to be happy!!! If he asked you to marry him would that be a temporary or permanent fix to how your feeling? I'd at least figure out what things your not happy about and tell him about how your feeling(if you feel you can and want to give him an opportunity) - not that if he wasn't good in bed your wouldn't be there you don't think. But all the other stuff that is bothering you or that's behind everything. See what he does and how he responds to all of it and see how he feels about everything. Just remember sometimes you have to let go of something and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't let him go, that's completely up to you, just remember that no matter what, YOU and he both deserve to be happy and when you do what's best for YOU it's ultimately best for everyone involved no matter if they realize it now or later on down the road. Just my opinion though, take what you want from my experience and leave the rest!!! Good luck with everything!!!

Sounds like he really only provides you with that sexual need. Maybe you two can just be sex parnters. If he isn't giving you the other 50% that you will long for. If your not already, you will wand up cheating on him anyway. You will meet a man who will be willing to give you these things and he will be in the way. After a while of not getting what you want and just settling for less, you will be turned off anyway.

Some who has been there!

Yes, you are wasting your time. It sounds like he doesn't want to buy the cow when he is getting the milk free. Sex is great, but what about the other 23+ hours in a day? When your son grows up, do you really want to tell him that you've been with this man mainly because the sex was good? What qualities do you want in a man - kind, loving, good provider, honest, committed, etc.? Make a list of ten things you've got to have in a mate, and ten things you will not put up with. If he doesn't have any of the ten must-haves, or if he has any of the must-not-haves, follow through and reclaim your life. God bless you!

I think you should really evaluate the pros and cons of having this person in your life. It may sound dumb but make a list and be honest with yourself. If there are more cons than pros, ask him to move out. I don't understand why living together to date is the only option for couples these days. If you separate the living arrangement and really live just you taking care of your house and son, maybe it will help you put it all in perspective. I wish you the best. Life is too short to live in limbo. Good luck!

J. B. -

My grandmother once said, "Why marry the cow, when you can get the milk for free". I think you are wasting your time. Don't be so shallow about sex. Let's not forget he has three kids...girl move on. ARE YOU CRAZY?

Do what is in the best interest of your child regardless of your feelings. Is he a good father? Does your child have a good relationship with him? Whether you are married or not, moving out could affect your son as much as divorcing would.
I agree with the others about how you should have gotten married before getting into this situation.

Well what I feel like you might be struggling with is why is comfortable living with you and sleeping with you but not stepping up and making a commitment to you. It is really hard on us girls when we feel like a man is more than willing to take all we have but not meet our deepest need which is security. Well I know you and I don't know each other deeply, but I will tell you what I would tell my best girl friend, girl if it is only the sex keeping you there, just let him go. He sounds like a guy who is tough to love and the returns are minimal. I say cut bait and run girl! Sorry for being so blunt, that is just what I feel. But of course this is your life and you have to make a decision that you can live with. But in my humble opinion you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and if this guy is dragging you down let him go and just work on you for a while. I wish you all the best!!