If I Don't Get the Melting Pot His Name Is MUD

The thing with VDay that men don't understand is that it's pretty much a day for women. Men don't expect much that day and women sometimes pretend it doesn't matter. But it does matter! Unless you have an ultra-sensitive, romantic guy, you should take the initiative to get what you want. Sorry to generalize but this has been my experience.

I'd make the reservation and then if you have to cancel the reservation it wouldn't be a big deal.
I could say so much more, because my guy does very similar things and it drives me CRAZY! So, good luck also I have just grown to accept some of these stupid issues that he has. I know it's hard, but keep your head up! You must take care of you and your baby!

Hello, I made reservations 2 weeks ago at the Melting Pot for Feb. 13. I made the comment I thought you would already be booked for Valentines Day and the lady that took my reservation said they were almost completely booked. So, you might want to call now for that reservation . Hope that helps you. B.

M.,

Make the reservation. If you can't get one at the Melting Pot try somewhere else and get one before tables are gone at all the good places. Then, if he doesn't do something nice have a friend on stand by to take to dinner with you. He can sit at home and wonder why his wife would rather spend V-day with a girl friend and not him. Just make sure it's a female friend so you don't end up opening the other can of worms. Maybe then he will get the point.

But do remember, if he does anything that remotely sounds like he's trying to do something nice for you, even if it's not something you want, do it and try and be happy with it. My husband is one of the most selfish creatures on earth so when he tries to think of someone else it usually has a large chunk of what he wants in it too. But in his own way he is sharing his love. You chose to marry a man who isn't a great gift giver so you need to bend a little too. Try to look at the significance BEHIND the gift not at what it is. It's the thought that really does count with these guys. The GPS was not thoughtful. It takes time to get these types of men to start seeing how selfish they really are. So you have to be patient with him and learn to love the little things. But if he decides to by you a hammer or saw, you get the idea-like the GPS, for V-day start making plans with your friend for a nice dinner for two.

Good luck!
Jen
http://www.mommysjoy.com

M.,

Your hubbby need to listen and hear what you are asking, I'd book The melting pot, and if he has made other plans, that you're not liking, go without him, call a friend to go with you and make a statement to your hubby- he need to hear his wife its not like your asking for something way out. If you can be considerate for him the he needs to do the same for you.

Make the reservation and YOU take Him there for Valentines Day!
You can even purchase the gift card to pay for the meal so there is enough money. Then if he wants to give you something else or more you will be covered.

My husband is the same way. I already mentioned one suggestion, but I know he will wait till the last minute, like he has done since we were 12! Since V day is a Saturday this year, the ladies with husbands that have their acts together will not have to plan ahead for themselves, like the rest of us married to the procrastinators, who are always going to be clueless. We still love them though....

Dear M.,
I used to be sure to get something for my husband for Valentines, and then be disappointed when he did nothing in return. After several years of this I decided that I should stop getting him something, because that made it all the worse when he didn't reciprocate. To be honest, I think it is the man's job to initiate Valentines Day giving! And I think it's just fine for him to do something and the wife to do nothing.
The problem is that "Hallmark, etc." causes us wives to have great expectations, but it also causes men to be more resistent, because they don't like for "Hallmark" to tell them to they have to do something for their wives.
Here's my advice: On Valentine's Day, don't do anything. If he does something, anything, APPRECIATE IT!! If he takes you to a concert, BE GRATEFUL!!
The Bible says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." You want to be loved the way that makes you feel loved, right? So you really want him to do the thing that you asked for (Melting Pot). So, love him in the way that he wants to be loved. That's doing unto him as you wish he would do for you. How do 99% of men want to be loved? That's an easy one: Sex! Give him the gift of sex. Give yourself to him "to have and to hold, from this day forward." And give up your expectations of him.
I've been married 32 years, and truly, my husband hardly ever makes a big deal out of Valentines. But that's OK. He's a great husband, and I know he loves me, and he's romantic in other ways.
Hope that helps.
J.

Make the reservation! But don't tell him that you did. If he gets one later, (hopefully he would tell you) then you can cancel the one you made. Good luck getting reservations! I made ours almost three weeks ago for Trulucks.

You need to lower your standards, I hate to say it, but you married him and I suspect this is not new info to you. Have a Happy Valentines day anyway! MUD- messed up dinner? :o)

This isn't really advice, I just wanted to tell you a funny story.
One year for Christmas my dad asked my mom what she wanted. My mom had been having really bad migraines and wanted one of those Shiatsu massagers that they were selling at Walgreens. She cut out the add and gave it to my dad. A week later my dad asks her what she wants for Christmas again. My mom finds another add for the Shiatsu massager, this time with a coupon, and gives it to my dad. The day before Christmas my dad comes back to my mom and asks what she wants for Christmas, and my mom looks all over for another add but cant find one so she tells him,"Its called a shiatsu massager and its at Walgreens." Well my dad finnally goes to wallgreens and is looking around. The clerk asks if he needs help and he says,"Yes, I'm looking for a gift for my wife. She wants some sort of Japanese Vibrator!"
Just thought a funny story might cheer you up! I'd make the reservations your self. Then when its not a special occasion, sit down and tell your husband how hurtful you find it when he doesn't show effort. Good luck!

Definitely make the reservation. Have the big discussion some other time.

We just passed our 30th anniverasy. Make the reservation. He WONT.(I think you should have gone to the concert (he is trying), and still go to the restaurant making sure he knows that the restaurant is an on thing. That way you both get what you want )He wanted the GPS system & your bday was the excuse to get it. Next time you ask for a day spa & he gives you something else, do the spa anyway & thank him for it. It will make him think. I know you said there wasn't enough $ for it then, but what abt now? As far as your 30th bday,I doubt your husband will give you a surprise party. You have to decide if thats ok or not & accept it. (I gave mine a party, he didn't for me. We went out to eat).I hve always given him bday, Chritmas, annervasary presents. keep specifying what you want, I think in time he'll respond. Keep the communication open. & if he doesn't get what you want, start buying your own. (I did for a few yrs).My husband does a great job now. A little abt me, 49 yrs old, just passed our 30th annv. 5 kids 26,24, 23, 16, 15. It hasn't always been a bed of roses. Remeber roses have thorns, but we stuck it out thru the rough times & are still lovers now. good luck. B.