Idk

Please go see someone to help you. If you are seeing therapist and thats not helping....something else is wrong. Second opinions are sometimes needed.

M.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are taking the right steps to help yourself. If the counselors are not the right speciality find a new one. Acidents are just that accidents. They are not planned. You stated you can't control anything in your life. This is not completely true. You can control your responses to what life gives you. I am not sure I am able to communicate this idea well in print. Your control is in how you handled the situation. It speaks to who you are. Obviously you are a caring person. If you weren't you wouldn't be having such difficulties now. Think about what else you have learned through this event. Maybe how important it is to be really present in the moment. Concentrate more on these other lessons. I don't think there is anyone who would want you to live your life less fully because of this accident. I wish I had better words to help you. Please remember an accident is an accident. There but the grace of God go I.

I haven't dealt with this, but I wanted to tell you that you are doing the right thing. You stopped and took care of the situation, you're taking care of yourself as best you can. You did what you could to help him by not running away, etc. Keep up with the counseling - it takes time. Definitely eating disorder counseling. It hasn't even been a year. PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself. HUGS to you. The fact that you can communicate this is a GOOD thing and a good sign. You're not hiding, you're fighting!

E.,

I am very sorry for your situation. At the end of the day though it's not like you were driving carelessly & that's why you hit the boy. It was an accident and accidents happen. What you have to do is surround yourself with the ones you love and be grateful the boy made it. (My uncle was in a similar accident a few months ago but the "boy" was an 80 year old woman and wasn't so lucky). Life goes on. For you, the boy and everyone. But really E., A GIRL'S GOTTA EAT! Not eating doesn't mean control. Controlling what you eat means control. So eat healthy foods. Nothing you do now will change anything that happened last year. But it has everything to do with tomorrow and next year. Last, I would recommend telling yourself three things you like about you every single day. Even if you feel like you're lying in the begining. Sooner or later, you WILL start to believe them and that will help you feel good about you and worthwile.

Much luck to you Libby. ...Now go get a snack. ;)

I have a cousin who was involved in a vehicle accident--her fault and her teenage daughter had some very severe injuries. She had a LOT of guilt. Counseling helped her. Find a therapist trained in eating disorders. This is very serious, but with the "right help" you can work through this. Accidents happen. Of course you couldn't have avoided! You need to learn how to forgive yourself. Best of luck. Please d]seek out the best help you can find. Start with your primary doctor if you are unsure where to turn. Tell him/her everything you've told us. Help is out there. You have to find the right help.

I agree, find a better therapist who is experienced with trauma. EFT or EMDR are approaches that are particularly good with trauma. And it sounds possible also that this has affected you so strongly because it triggers an earlier trauma for you - which is all the more reason to find yourself a really really good therapist. It also might help for you to meet with the boy's parents if you haven't (but best if you could find out first how they and he are doing, that might better be done when you are farther along in your healing process - so I wouldn't recommend considering this until after you do some of your work with a therapist). Please take care of yourself - this is really really important. Don't keep going to a counselor who isn't helping, and don't take meds if they aren't helping! And I imagine that other people (friends etc) are telling you to just get over it, which is not at all helpful. Tell them to stop. Your feelings are important and real, and you totally deserve to have the support of someone who really listens and gets how you feel and can help you resolve the trauma and come to peace with yourself. You are obviously a wonderful caring person, otherwise you wouldn't be so bothered by this. I can really understand your feeling alone and helpless with this, but please know that you are not alone, and there are wonderful caring people who can really help you through this.

You yourself said there was nothing that you could have done to stop the accident....it was an ACCIDENT you need to give yourself permission to let it go. Something bad happened but that doesn't make you bad. You need to forgive yourself and move on. You mentioned you have no control over your life but other than the accident you do have control. Maybe you need to do something positive to gain direction in your life like join a Bible study, volunteer at a soup kitchen. You can choose to live your life in misery focused on the past or chose to have a good life focused on positive things like your family and helping others.

I hope the little boys is okay now. Are you in a support group by any chance? Perhaps you need a new therapist who really specializes in eating disorders from grief and anxiety.

I don't know what we can say since you are already speaking with 3 professionals, but I hope this 8 minute video can help. It is the story of how a father, whose pregnant wife and two children were killed by a teenage drunk driver, was able to forgive and how the teen driver and his family is dealing with their grief and sorrow, and how they are coming to find peace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7zwQ_7q-fU

When you begin to panic, and I understand panic, focus on what you can control, what is in your control, even if it is just a small thing, instead of what you can't control.

Things you can control are your breath, what you look at, what you say, what you do about little things, turning off the news--things like that.

I find that when I panic, if I look at something that is holding still, like a wall, a chair, a lamp, and then slow my breathing until the panic passes I am okay.

Try finding a mental health group that you can meet with regularly--once a week if you can.

Many people have panic attacks, you are not alone.

I hit a cyclist - a young student who was wearing black, and riding a black bike, with no lights at night - I think he was begging to be hit. Anyway he I turned into a side street right across his path, he hit the side of my car and sailed over the top, crashing down face first into the road, he was going downhill at about 20 mph. Needless to say, he hurts himself badly, and the police said it was equal fault, which I find very hard to believe.
This was about 18 years ago, but I still remember the terror of seeing the flash of that boys face as he hit my car.
I was really shaken up, but like you, I knew it was not my fault, that little boy was unsupervised, and pulled out in front of you, there was nothing you could do - you would not have purposefully done that.
It is very easy to say just go on with life and forget it - We don't forget the things that happen to us, but it makes us more vigilant. I am way more vigilant now when pulling across a road, just as I am sure you are when pulling out. Accidents that don't end in fatalities make us learn, and make us better people. don't feel hopeless, it will get better.