4 Year Old Is a Picky Dresser

My daughter was the same when (starting when she was about 3 1/2 or 4yrs old. She is now 13 and still very picky when it comes to clothes. But when I had my son, I never thought he would be like that too, but he is. He will be 4 in April and about 2 or 3mths ago, he started being picky about what he was gonna wear. I started putting outfits together in his drawers and then let him pick out his own clothes in the morning. This has worked out pretty good so far.

My daughter began to do this around the same age, so I started picking out clothes the night before. Not only that, but I'd take 3 shirts to her, and let her pick one out. I made sure she knew that there was no changing her mind the next day. She tried a couple of times to say "but I don't want to wear that anymore", but it's just to test me to see if I meant what I said. Well, it's helped so much that now we pick out the shirt in the morning with no arguments and no drama. I still offer her 3 shirts to pick from. I always pick the jeans and stuff out, she hasn't gotten picky about those.....yet.......

sounds like he's ready to dress himself. let him pick his clothes out, and see if he can put them on all by himself. just tell him that you're frustrated and give him charge of it. we went through the exact same struggle and it was AWFUL getting dressed, until he figured out that he could do it by himself.

at this point it probably doesn't REALLY matter if his clothes match.... we just keep pretty neutral pants in my son's drawers and they go with everything. sometimes he'll come out with a bright orange thomas the train shirt, and blue plaid overalls or something equally rediculous :D but he's so proud of getting himself dressed and wearing his favorite shirt and overalls that i don't really care that it looks silly. in fact, i think it's really cute and hilarious!!

another suggestion-- somehow daddy was better at getting him dressed than i was during that difficult period. he knows daddy means business...

D.,
My son isn't old enough for him to be at that stage.. yet! But, I do have a sister who is 10 years younger than me and when she was that age it was one of my daily chores to dress her. Your son sounds exactly like her! It used to drive me batty!!
What worked best for me may not sound to feasible if your morning is tightly scheduled, but here goes. I would -one at a time- pull out each and every pair of underwear that she had asking 'do you want to wear this one?' sometimes we would go through the entire drawer full 3 times before she chose one. The process would then be repeated with tops, then bottoms, then socks, then shoes. It usually ended up taking about half an hour to 45 minutes to dress her, but in the end she was dressed... and happy! The alternative of choosing her clothes myself inevitably resulted in tears and tantrums followed by (literal) wrestling matches to put the clothes on her. Actually it usually meant involving two or more of my siblings to help wrest her into the clothes -which would be removed as soon as she wasn't under constant surveillance!
Anyhow, I think just try to be patient. And don't worry too much about a disorder at this age. Most likely its just a phase, he needs to feel like he is in control of his appearance. Its a good thing! Part of healthy development.

lol. My son is the same way. He wants likes to shop at the mall. (which I do, at clearance time) I just let him get himself dressed in the morn. Most days it's just jeans and a top. This way I know he somewhat matches. When there are clothes he acts reluctant about I just talk it up. Like: "Oooo, won't grandma like that one" lol. I know how you feel though. I never thought my son would be so funky about his clothes this young.

I would pick out two outfits each morning and let him choose one. Let him know that he gets make the decision between these two otherwise you choose for him.

hi!

i bought my little ones an organizer that hangs in the closet. they each hold 5 outfits. on sunday we put 5 outfits in the organizer and in the morning they can pick out one outfit. it has cut down on 'crazy mornings'.

Hey D.:

It sounds like you have a regular clothing designer on your hands and maybe that's his future. He's very meticulous and this can be a blessing as well as the inevitable. Anyway, you should gather an array of many choices that he can go through, and while you're getting ready, let him pick. It happened to me with my Sarah, she was so funny about the clothes that she wore. I would just let her fret over the thing until she found what she wanted. It was hilarious. Her socks would always bother her and she had to get them to fit "just so" before going on. It's best not to allow yourself to get frustrated as they pick up on it and it makes it worse. Take it from a woman with 6 kids (17, 16, 15, 12, 10 and 7). Never take your babies for granted! They're blessings!

When I was little, I could not STAND to have the lines on the toes of my socks not completely straight! I mean, sometimes my mom would put them on me 3 or 4 times, I would freak out! I did find out as an adult that I have adhd, but not sure if that was the problem or not.

My daughter wants to wear what she wants. She is almost 8 now, but she did the same at 5. She wants stripes with plaid, tutu's with jeans and tank tops in the winter. Being that she is my 3rd child, I have learned that what she wears is really the very least of my worries. As long as she is dressed for the weather, I let her wear what she wants, within reason of course.

One idea is to pick out 2 outfits, and let him choose what he wants out of the 2 outfits. He can mix and match them. Tell him you understand that he is a big boy now and that you know he would like to pick out his own clothes. And he can, but only out of those 2 outfits. I think this should work well, maybe with a little time to adjust. Be firm, only the 2 outfits and that is it.

Good luck!

R.

I am a 45 yr. old mom of 3, I have worked outside, inside, and been a stay at home mom. Right now I am at home, but about to start at our local school very part time. Husband works 7 days per week though.

My daughter (6) has been the same way since 3 y.o. As some previous Mom's have suggested, we pulled out three outfits and let her choose. You'll find that some outfits you've purchased never get chosen....this helps you figure out some of their likes and dislikes for future shopping obviously, but never fear wasting perfectly good clothes. These children are giving you clues to what is important to them (Independence? Clothing?). For my daughter, it was choice of clothes and "book time" before bed. When behavior problems arise, losing the choice of outfit the next morning is a very effective way to get their attention. It also emphasizes "getting dressed" as (more often than not) a privilege vs. a punishment. Days when the choice has been removed are good times to work in the otherwise never worn clothing that they don't really hate, but is just not their favorite. :) Good luck