I don't get some women. I was friends with this women. My 2 kids and her 2 kids are the same age. All last year the kids had soccer together so afterwards every Tuesday we would have lunch together. Our younger 2 are in the same nursery school. Twice I emaiiled her about geting together. No big strain on her we were going to meet at the pool at the gym. She never returned my emails..We metioned back in June we were going to try to get our daughters in the same soccer or other class together. She never returned my 2 emails so I gave up. The girls adore each other . The mom is nice but extremely high strung. Also my neighbor on my street she has wonderful polite children. Two of her children are the same age as my two younger children. I am NEVER going to ask her to have the kids play. I don't know what I ever did to her but to me its obvious she doesn't like me. My kids are also very polite.I was at the gym today and someone I met last spring came up to me and said I am so sorry. I really had no idea who she was. She said we had a plalydate but she just forgot and said she probably thinks she is a bad person. I said no worries. I said I don't even remember we were going to get together. Then she asked to get togehter next week. Anyhow it was a pick me up.Why are women still act like they are in HS
Can't follow this at all, but I am glad someone did something nice! Don't worry about what anybody else thinks. What Mommymommymommy said is so true. The older you get, the more this will apply. Trust me, you just cannot let this bother you! Make the play dates you can, and move on.
M.
I am not sure I follow this note - I think you are, in the beginning, talking about 2 different women. If I understand you, here are my thoughts:
Mom #1 may simply not check her email. I have one Mom friend who checks hers about 3x/year and then is too embarassed to respond to invitations that she received months earlier (and the dates have passed).
Mom #2 (neighbor) may not dislike you. Unless you see that she is REALLY different with other people than you, she may just not be outgoing.
My husband is a SAHD and he almost NEVER makes playdates for the kids. It doesn't matter how much he likes somebody, he just doesn't do it. The kids DO get to go on playdates and I am SO grateful for the 2 Moms who don't mind initiating almost every one of them!
Just like in HS, what other people think and do is rarely about us - it's about them. And even when it IS about us, it's still about them.
This is really hard to follow...
The older I get the more I realize that other people's issues seldom have much to do with me. And sometimes people are just going through stuff and don't have the time or energy to keep up with other moms. I've gone through spells like that myself.
I just keep motoring forward and making connections - and then let the chips fall where they may! It's a good reason to help your kids develop a diverse palate of friends.
It sounds like something good happened for you - that's great!
I agree with the moms who said not to take these things personally. I just went through breast cancer this past year and didn't have time for anyone. You never know what might have happened in their family or if someone got sick and they just couldn't keep up. This may have had nothing to do with you at all. Glad you were able to make a new playdate with someone, but if you don't become best friends, try not to take it personally. Good luck!
That's great! Proves there are some nice moms out there.
I've had parent friendships die off for unknown reasons, too. Best to move on if emails get ignored, that's for sure. That happened with my son's best friend in preschool and life went on. Still, it's not fun at the time, wondering what in the world happened.
Have fun on your playdate with the mom you reconnected with at the gym!
I think you have to try and not personalize other mothers or people.. it's one of those things where people simply get so busy (and don't forget everyone handles their busy differently) and like that woman who came up to you, some forget... also, priorities change from day to day.. my son has wanted a few friends over our house and while the kids all live close to us, no (but one) has come over. I don't take it personally because I know the families get busy.. and even taking a child over to another friend's house , for some is an extra effort they aren't willing to take on.. again, not sure it's all personal.. maybe some is and if it is, then you have no control over that.. it's a tough pill to swallow, but you have to either let it go or it will continue to bring you down :(
best of luck
While I would agree with you that this woman is being rude for not being honest with you about her reasons for giving you the cold shoulder, I can offer you these other scenarios for what might be going on that don't reflect on you personally -
maybe she has a parent or loved one who is ill and occupying her attention and thoughts.
maybe she is overwhelmed personally and it is a huge effort for her to do anything.
I'm sorry this is happening to you but you have to remember, just like in high school there are many different personalities actually floating around in the real world.
Other scenarios might include that she is paranoid - a germophobe or ?
or doesn't like your parenting style but doesn't know how to express that politely
I had a similar thing happen to me with a woman and her child who seemed friendly but then, actually, they were really two faced. So the mother would agree yes yes yes we should get together (the kids got along really well) and then she would never follow through, even though I would agree and ask her when she might want to do it. I will say this, our parenting styles are really different and while there is a slight sadness in that my child is not going to be able to play with their friend that they made, on the otherhand, at least they won't be experiencing the actions of a two-faced person.
