Hi,
I don't have a referral to share with you because my OB is too far from where you are, but I wanted to give you a warm hug (if hugs are okay). I was in your position when I was pregnant and it was so frustrating. For example, I turned in my Birth Plan during my 10th week. Nobody had bothered to look at it when I broached the subject during my 36th week appointment. That, along with a betrayal of trust and violation of my rights led me to walking away from my OB/GYN in my 37th week of pregnancy. I was scared, unsure and doctor-less, but I knew that I just could not put my unborn child in a situation with someone I no longer trusted and I did not feel I could talk to about my concerns. (After all, medical care should not be a dictatorship, should it?)
My birthing experience was the best experience ever and my only regret about changing care was not doing it sooner.
So, in short, if you are not 100% comfortable and confident in your care providers, you won't be in the frame of mind you need to be in to have a stress-free and positive birthing experience. You, your unborn son and your spouse deserve that. Do what you need to do to find peace with whomever will provide your care.
All the best to you,
J.