I NEED To Vent!!!

Are you my sister? My own mother gave my baby a hot dog after knowing that I was a vegetarian (and he was too)for 14 years by that time. When I lived with my now ex-husbands family, they would allow drunk grandpa to drive my son around after I had already expressed in words and on paper that they were not to do that. Grandpa died from his illness months later but before hand,in effort to protect myself and my son from harm, I left his house just to be safe.I went to my mother's house and hence THE HOTDOG INCIDENT. Everyone thinks they know what is good for our children, right? Put your foot down. She sounds like my mother who likes to say "kids are resilient" even after four of hers ended up in mental institutions! Fighting with them is useless because they've spent their whole lives doing what they are doing. Your baby needs your advocacy in getting the proper nutrition. Your husband needs to learn how to say "no" to Mommy and take his diagnosis more seriously.He may not yet understand how serious it is. She may not either.I think she is coming from a good place in wanting to be part of her son's family. I think she loves to nurture and is probably an enabler. Regardless, these are our kids. She needs to maintain a certain distance and respect your wishes. Just because you are TEMPORARILY living there and you've probably expressed your gratitude,you are the mother. Living there does not allow her to disrespect your boundaries. She may not look at it as being disrespectful, though so be kind and careful when you can discuss the issues.
Your husband is the one in control of his health and should have avoided that dangerous plate of food, so he is accountable when (for whatever reason) he puts things like that in his mouth. I think you are feeling powerless and frustrated and the great thing about that is that you can acknowledge it, express it, and figure a plan in dealing with it. Mother-in-law is used to doing things a certain way so it will be hard to get her out of her comfort zone, but if your mate and you can lovingly express YOUR concerns, then she may make some changes. You will get your house, don't worry! This too shall pass...

It is always hard living with in-laws believe I know. You can make it I know there alot of great apartment deals right now in S.A. lots of new construction etc. You really need to try to get out the situation; sometimes when men hear that they are not invincible they shut down. You just need to give a little room to adjust and gently remind him that you are concerned for his health not for you but for your son...
Keep your chin up and be strong. :)

If you can't move ot yet you are just going to need to put your foot down with your husband. Make him his favorite meal before his mother gets home. I'm sure he would eat it if it's made! As for your son you are his mother, but it is very diffult with grandparents around. I just have a tendency to turn my back when it comes to my mom and mil but in your situation it is very different it always. If I were in this situation I would just be somewhere else all day. lol No, I would go to the park have dinner there or go out to a healthy resturant. As for your mil you need to sit down with her and discuss that you are only looking out for your husband and son't best interest. Tell her that she has raised her children w/out anyone input now let you. Also if she raised her children so well why does your husband now have diabetets and is unhealthy now. It starts in our childhood. It builds up though time.

Bottom line if it were me and your mil doesn't stop move out on your own, with someone else or lock yourself in the your room! lol

Hope this help...
L.

He doesn't have to give up all these things (well most) as long as he eats them in a different way. My grandmother used to get her candy from Sun Harvest. Also all sugar free candies are made with slenda now saving you on sugars and not taking out the taste. But I think that it would be a great benefit for you guys to see a Nutritionist. They can help him to get on a healthy diet that will fit for his particular issue. I am trying to fight getting it myself. I am allowed to have sugars but in moderation. Nutritionist do not only help you lose weight, they help you to get better eating habits. Most insurance will cover this, but I would check (if you have it, I know a few people that don't) as for the apartment situation there are apartments that will help you with getting rent that will reflect your income. SOme people are scared to do this but most of these communities have a no-tollerance clause now.But until then, if it help buy the foods and snacks that you know he can eat. I have been there and it is hard but I am sure that you can do it.

I know this is hard for you, belive me I know. When I was with my ex we were at his mothers house and that was hard. She also gave my daughter junk food. But you are the mother not her. She had her turn to be a mother and let her know that. If she gives some thing to your son then take it away. Tell him it's not good for him and that you are looking out for him. Just keep telling your mother in law that he is your son and what you say goes. It's going to be hard I know. But your son needs to eat right, you don't want to be one of those mothers on T.V. about your kid being so big. Well thats what keeps me from eating out so much and keeps me cooking right. I know it sounds mean but it helps me. Yes, a little junk food isn't to bad. Just stand your ground.
Like I said I was with my ex at his mothers, and that was to save money to. In the long run it hepls. SAVE. SAVE. SAVE all the money you can. It will help. It may not look like it helps but it dose.
I hope this hepls. If you need to talk. ____@____.com this is my email

Quick response, since I am @ work...

I also have a really good friend that Manages apt. but located in the South Side...these apt are brand new maybe 2 years old near a golf course, really nice! if you need some asst. I would also like to help. Trust me I know what its like to live with the in-laws..I've been there before...

Hi E., I just wanted to say that I am sorry about your situation. I do understand how hard it can be. You should just look for an apartment and let them know up front if they accept bad credit, you can find some that do you just have to look hard. Some may require extra deposit but it sounds like it is worth it. I am trying to fix my credit as well and it is very difficult to make up for the mistakes that you made. I will be looking for an apartment soon too, so it looks like we are in the same position. As far as your mother-in-law goes she needs to understand that diabetes is a serious disease and can lead to a great variety of other serious health problems, but if treated properly and with diet and exercise he can control it. At the same time maybe you should speak to your husband because he is adult and he doesn't have to eat the things that she fixes, he too needs to realize how serious the effects of diabetes are. I wish you all the luck!!

Umm hard question but throw this back in her face when she says that she has raised 5 kids...tell her one of them turned out to be a DIABETIC. That's not raising them fine and from what I believe that life style of not watching what you eat has caught up to at least your husband and it has to have something to do with how he was brought up.
Since you are making a little more money use that money to buy healthy foods for you and your family. Have your own meals and your own groceries. After all your health is more important. That's just my opinion.
I know how easy it is to eat fast food but i know for sure that it's NOT easy to get the pounds and inches off. Good luck.