I Need Sleep - Jacksonville,FL

Updated on February 01, 2010
W.S. asks from Jacksonville, FL
12 answers

I am SOOO tired. I have a 7 month old that gets up to nurse every three to two hours at night. I KNOW she's got me trained and I KNOW she's fully capable of going all night without eating. I am thinking of just turning off the monitor and just letting her go all night. The reason I haven't done this is that I'm really not sure that is the best thing to do. I need some affirmation that it is the way to go or some new ideas. She won't take a pacifier (which is fine since first kid was addicted to it) and she really is anti-bottle. Any ideas? I'd really like to not have these bags under my eyes! Thanks in advance!

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

When my children were about this age we would turn the monitor off, but it's not like they were too far that we couldn't hear them. If we heard them cry in the middle of the night WITHOUT the monitor, we would go get them. Unsually we didn't hear their wimpers and they'd go back to sleep. I didn't put my kids in my bed with me to begin with, but once I got them for their first feeding, they usually slept with us the rest of the night. That really helped! I wasn't a huge fan of co-sleeping at first, but I got some sleep and that's what I needed. Also none of my children sleep with me today and they're 19 months, 3 and 4. So as long as you get them out before it becomes a habit, they shouldn't expect to sleep with you when rthey grow up!

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

I never discovered the answer until baby #3 when I read the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, which changed my life. No, you should NOT turn off the monitor and make her cry all night! That's just horrible!! In that book, the author teaches you how to get your child to sleep without nursing her... then when she wakes in the middle of the night (which everyone does, even adults), she will know how to soothe herself and she'll just go back to sleep without crying for you. At her age, she is not waking/crying because she is hungry, or even because she needs to suck on something. She is crying because she has absolutely no idea what else to do when she wakes in the middle of the night. It's best if you read the book, but the basic concept is she teaches you how to feed your child when she wakes up, not feed her when she is sleepy -- and that applies to all day long, every time she eats, not just night time.Then at night time, the book teaches you how to put her to sleep without nursing her or even rocking her to sleep.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

If you know she's "got you trained" and just wants comfort, have hubby provide it for a few nights each week. When you do get up in the middle of the night, don't nurse, just calm her back to sleep, you need to break the cycle. You're no good to yourself or your baby if you have constant sleep deprivation.

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Babies wake up during the night for various reasons: hunger, thirst, boredom, teething, comfort, illness. Those are the major ones. Have you tried co-sleeping? It really is the best way to get your sleep while tending to the baby. Latch her on and you fall asleep. Babies this age do not always sleep through the night all of the time, however, getting up to nurse every 2-3 hours is not common. Your baby could be teething and is needing you for comfort, as breastfeeding is comforting. She also could be entering the stage of separation anxiety and is in need of being close to you. I would strongly discourage you from allowing your baby to cry it out. Your baby is not yet old enough to communicate her needs so crying is her only method of getting your attention. If she is wimpering and simply making sounds, I would say, let her babble all she wants but if she is crying, then you really ought to go to her. I would not suggest a pacifier, as they become a crutch for a baby and what happens when it falls out and she cries for you to put it back into her mouth? I never used a pacifier for any of my 3 children. They do not need them. How do you know she is capable of sleeping the whole night without eating? Has she slept through the night before and is suddenly not sleeping now? I would say you need to evaluate what is waking her up: is her room lit by any outside lighting? Is her bed time too early? Is she teething? Is she sick? Maybe her room is too dark and needs a night light. It took me nearly 6 months to figure out why my second daughter was suddenly waking up during the night: she was afraid of the dark and once I started to use a night light, she began sleeping through the night again. I would try co-sleeping for a period of time just so that you can get your sleep.

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R.H.

answers from Tampa on

Your baby is only 7 months old. Both of my daughters were well over a year before they started sleeping thru the night. I would try to skip one feeding at first. Just hold her and try to console her crying without the milk. She may cry for a long time at first, but will eventually go to sleep. I would never let the baby just cry it out by herself in her room. I personally think it's cruel. She is still young and needs to feel safe and know that you are there for her. Unfortunately there's no simple answer for you. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Is she eating Cereal yet? She's definitely old enough to have cereal. If not, I would at least feed her cereal right before she goes to bed. She will sleep alot longer cause she won't be hungry. And YES it is ok for you to turn off the monitor. Baby's are designed to be flexable. Don't let them change your schedule.. Change them to fit your schedule. She will NOT hate you for making her get a full night sleep.. but you WILL hate yourself if you never get a full night sleep.

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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

First off, brava for breastfeeding. It's the BEST thing you can do. I co slept with my daughter and we both slept well. She found my breast when she wanted the love, comfort, warmth or milk and we slept. It's a win win situation.
I'm sorry to say that the "shes' got me trained" thing is awful to think. She is 7 months old!!! she's just come into this strange world, is a tiny being whose life revolves around YOU, she needs your love, comfort and security. To turn off the monitor and let her cry it out is awful, and cruel. Co sleeping teached children security and independence because they learn that they are loved and cared for whenever they need so they are better able to explore.
She's better off NOT learning to use a bottle or pacifier. They are plastic and artificial and affect speech later on.

This time probably seems never ending to you, you're exhausted and depleted but this time FLIES by, before you know it, she'll be off nursing and you'll miss this time. Cherish it and know it doesn't last forever.
Another thing to do, speaking of extended nursing is to check out the fact that long term nursing is wonderful for both you and your child. Nurse as long as you can, nurse till your child self weans. Any country outside the US where breasts are seens as more than sex objects, women nurse till 4, 5 or 6.

Peace,
R.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Have your husband go in and offer her water.

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T.F.

answers from Miami on

With my second, and last, child I felt the same way and at around that time I weaned her from night time nursings because I knew, to, that she didn't need it and i was ready to sleep! I could not have done it without The Sleep Lady. I didscovered "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West (the Sleep Lady) when my first daughter was several months old and we had sleep issues (our own fault - 1st child!) and it changed our lives. Both my daughters are the BEST sleepers thanks to the techniques taught in this book and the best part of the book is that you don't have to find the time to read the whole thing - just read what's necessary for your dilema or (child's) age group. I wrote a whole article about it, here's the link: http://hubpages.com/hub/sleep-training-good-night-sleep-t...

Hope this helps. Best of luck and hang in there!

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C.W.

answers from Miami on

do, eventually you will have to get to that point. its a milestone for both of you

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

You've gotten some great answers, and I have to agree--although I never coslept. I'm just too light a sleeper. I wish I could have! But I don't think I ever stopped going to them until they really were just "checking in"--you know, nursing two or three sucks and then falling back asleep. And then I did it gradually.

The most important thing is that, if you really, really want to drop a feeding--just work on one! I picked the one that was the hardest on me (usually the 2-3am one) and let me husband go comfort the baby. He can't nurse and they know it, so they would both just roll over and sleep after a few pats. After a few nights, no more crying at that time. And of course, the baby and I would both be happy to compensate with a slightly longer (and maybe earlier) next feeding.

The key is, though, that we only did it when they clearly didn't NEED the milk and we did go to them, just not with milk. No CIO.

Believe me, none of it lasts very long anyway. Breastfeeding is an awesome thing to do, and so is being there for your child when they need you. I know sleep is crucial to mothering, though, so find your balance.

My mom (nursed four kids for two years apiece) always says it's a dance with the baby leading. But sometimes you can encourage them to lead a certain way!

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J.D.

answers from Texarkana on

Is she really nursing every time or just using you as a way to go back to sleep. My daughter was like that but she was really nursing and since she was quite small I kept at it, plus she co slept so that made it easier. I did tryo to nap when she did during the day though. But if she isnt nursing maybe you could have your husband go and sooth her back to sleep...since seeing you she will probably demand to nurse.
Hope everything works out.

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