I Need Helpful Advice...*encouraging Words/thoughts*

Well first your 2 year old is 2 years old....she is exploring her power, learning her limits. Just be constant with the punishments, time outs and explanations of her hitting isn't right. Let her see that it hurts and makes you very sad when she hits. Have her give hugs and say sorry afterward.

For the 7 year old, I tell mine think your thoughts in your head for a few mins. It would be when I just can't listen anymore or if I am trying to read. I am guessing he gets punished in school for talking. You just have to keep telling him if you follow the teachers direction then maybe you won't get in trouble so much. Get him a journal to practice drawing or writing out his thoughts. This will improve his writing skills as well as give him an outlet to use his voice.

Also as soon as the weather breaks take them to a park or somewhere they can run off some energy and play. You just have the winter time blues. Hugs and it will be spring time soon. I hope.

I am from your area. I cannot believe the snow that we have already today.... where did that come from?!

I think us mom's and kids are tired of being stuck inside. My kids arent even getting outside recess. It is too cold. They are acting a little crazier than normal. They need to be able to get outside and run it out.

Think spring! It will be here before we know it :)

You mentioned that your 7yr. old is a good student and is very intelligent. You might schedule a conference and talk to his teacher. Find out what insight she has and consider it along with your own. If the work he's assigned isn't challenging enough, he might be acting out of pure boredom. If you don't feel this is the case, then you might also consider getting your school counselor's advice on this as well.

Your 2yr. old seems faily average for her age and gender to me. A technique we used with my oldest daughter when it came to hitting, was to tell her " hands are not for hitting...talk to your hands". Then we'd have her hold her hands up in front of her face so that she was looking at them, and tell her hands "no hitting, hitting hurts". Of course, it took a while, but eventually we began to see much less of it, and when it did happen, she'd immediately "talk to her hands" without our prompting. Really, at this age, children don't understand the action/consequence relationship. But in time with guidence, they will. Check, also, to see if there have been recent changes in her routines at day care or home. Sometimes little ones will act out if something is different, just to understand if anything else is going to change too. Good luck to you.

The 7 year old talker - I had a talker -- he still talks... even talks to himself sometimes... He needs time to talk during the school day. I would bet money he is bored in class. Speak with the teacher to find out what he can do to help himself - whether it's raise his hand, gets 5 min. before lunch, whatever... My son ended up helping kids who were struggling with a lesson or math or something. He got to help and he could talk. He had to stay on topic, but at least his mouth could be going.

The 2 year old - you need to be consistent and firm. No temper tantrums allowed. No means no. Time outs need to be instituted. She needs structure. At school they need to handle her. I would remind them to be consistent with her and all of the students. If she hits at home or at school, she goes in time out. She sits for 2 minutes because she is 2.
If she cries, she cries... too bad. You need to remind her that she is not the boss - you and Daddy are the boss. You both need to be on the same page as well. She can't get away with something with Dad and then be punished for the same thing by Mom... It doesn't work and creates conflict...
Make a rule chart with both children - No hitting... etc.
Go over the consequences with everyone.
From that point, no matter where you are or what you are doing, if someone acts up, they get the consequence. If she throws a tantrum in a store, you haul her out and give her a time out. If she is at a friend's house and she hits, she goes home. You will only have to do it once or twice...
My son - the talker - was also quite mischievous.. He wanted the toy fire truck that was on a friend's birthday cake. I told him if he touched it we would leave -- we had just arrived. He grabbed it. I took hit out of his hand, put it back on the cake, and took him right home. He did not play with his toys. He went in for a nap!! He still remembers and never gave me any grief at a party again. :-) He is now 18 and headed for college in the fall. He turned out to be a great kid!! Just relax, be consistent, and everything will be fine.
YMMV
LBC

Oh man. Winter Blues. You've got it in spades. I bet everybody is going a little stir crazy. Especailly the kids. Kids have to get out and run it off. I'm sure it's a mixture of cabin fever, winter blues, regular old stress, and well... they don't call it terrible twos because it's fun or easy! Hang in there mom. The melt will come and spring will bring a new attitude among the natives.

Well first I am from Bloomsburg Pa and I hear you about the snow. You have been getting more down there but I live in the country and do not have 4wheel drive either and am stuck home w 3 kids when it snows! Ugh I am sick of it! We are going to florida for a week at the end of Feb and I CANT WAIT!

My kids aren't 7 yet, so I'm not sure of good punishments for him. But for the 2 year old - it's just going to take time and consistency (it sounds like this is where you have trouble). If you have a time-out spot that can keep her contained, it makes it a little easier (I used the crib for a long time, because my son didn't try to climb out, a friend of mine uses the high chair because she can strap her child in). Then you set a kitchen timer and she can't get out until it goes off (any crying/screaming during time-out gets completely ignored). If you don't have a time-out spot that keeps her contained, it's harder because it's essentially a time-out for you too because at first you are going to have to keep putting her back into time out when she comes out. It's going to be especially hard at the beginning, because you haven't been consistent about punishment in the past and your kids aren't going to expect you to follow through now either. They will push hard.

I'll never forget two times when my son (between ages 2-3) threw a temper tantrum to get his way in a restaurant. We went to the car and sat while everyone else ate dinner, and then got ours to go. Yes, it ruined my dinner too, but it only happened twice and now my son is great at restaurants because he KNOWS I'm serious when I say I'll take him to time out in the car if he doesn't behave!

It can be hard but you can do it! And it will be well-worth it.

Don't give up, mama! Your 2 year old is acting 2. What was her consequence for hitting you after you popped her on the hand for sticking a pen in the socket? Was that the end of it? Did she train you with corporal punishment instead of the reverse? She is testing the bounds, and you have to be the one that doesn't give up, not her. With a firm pop on the hand (for reaching for dangerous things, throwing food, etc) or butt for tantrums when they begin, angry no's etc, she'll learn not to do it quickly if you are firm and calm and consistent. One warning. Little words. No grudges. No yelling. No long laborious tantrum-enabling time outs. Move on with positive day, and do it as many times as it takes. Which won't be many once see sees the reaction to her choice is always the same and if she responds to a warning she can avoid it. This worked with all 3 of mine including my youngest, a born terror.
Your 7 year old is also in the valuable "practicing behaving like a gentleman" phase which takes a lot of work-especially for active little minds. Be patient. Be firm, be consistent. Warn him in advance what his consequences will be if you hear from the teacher he is not acting well in class. privilege removal to be earned back with a week of good behavior in school, hard chores, whatever. Follow through calmly. Make sure his dad is spending lots of quality time with him and setting a good example. Always work to increase positivity and respect at all other times (not during discipline episodes) so that he doesn't want to disappoint you or himself. All kids go through these phases, he's a great kid who will pull through, and let him know you believe it.
Hang in there through the snow! It's tough! Don't feel bad!
This book is great for inspiration and advice
www.backtobasicsdiscipline.com
I just saw your update. Spanking worked best for us under and around 2, because kids are too young to understand your feelings and they like big emotional battles and pushing boundaries for attention. For a 7 year old, toy removal is not enough, there should be a negative consequence as well, such as doing a hard unpleasant chore WITH good attitude. In addition to that, he should have to earn back the tv time after a week of good behavior-but this alone is not enough to deter the action in the moment since it's not really a negative consequence, it's just a void.

Ladybug has great answers! I agree with her completely. Talk to your son's teacher and together get some ideas for changing his behaviors. I bet she would love to have your positive support and your son will feel better about himself if he has a plan.

The two year old needs some tough love. You are the parent and you MUST stick to your plan of discipline when you decide what it is! If she is a manipulator, has she learned this because she can manipulate you? Time outs may work for her. Sticker charts might work too. I would honestly ask your daycare providers what they think would be a good approach while at school. Use them as helpers for these issues since you are paying them anyway! My daycare teachers were helpful in correcting my son's behaviors when he was misbehaving. If she gets the same reinforcement at home and school, it can be doubly effective. Two is really young, but you really can still shape behavior with consistency.

Last, don't be too hard on yourself! Everyone has cabin fever! I also think that sometimes issues occur at the same time with kids, for no reason at all. Both of my boys had issues at the beginning of this school year, and I thought WTH!? is going on. For now, it is smooth sailing, or maybe I shouldn't jinx myself?

Good luck to you!

I didn't read all your responses, just wanted to add my quick "2 cents". Make sure, especially for your 2 year old, but still very important for the 7yo too, that they get outside at least 20 minutes a day (not counting whatever they do at school). I know you said you are sooo tired of the snow, do not hibernate indoors - you will all end up with cabin fever and the kids will act out. Just bundle up and go for a quick walk, I have always found this necessary for my daughter, who is now 7.

For your 2 year old, a time out should be 2 minutes (1 min/year), for both of them, explain that you expect good behavior at school, define what that means to you, and tell them what the consequences will be beforehand, and of course, FOLLOW THROUGH with them! Your 7 yo is young for 3rd grade, many of the kids will be 9yo, the rest will be 8; there is a BIG difference in maturity and the teacher will be expecting him to act like a 3rd grader not a 7 year old. I don't think you should punish him at all for talking in class, just explain that every teacher he will have will have a different personality, some of them will be really great, some will be not so nice, some will be good teachers and others won't be as good. Tell him the teacher doesn't hate him, but the teacher does expect him to sit and listen and not talk to others because they need to listen too. Also, my daughter has a really hard time being corrected, if the teacher told her to stop talking, she may feel she was being yelled at or in big trouble without the teacher even raising her voice. Because your son is so intelligent, he may come across as very mature in many ways, but he will still be, emotionally, a 7 year old. Second graders jabber away in class, whether the teacher likes it or not, in third grade this is not tolerated.

I think you are doing fine with your kids, it sounds like your 2 yo is acting like a 2 yo. Get a breath of (way too chilly) fresh air, and just keep teaching them what you feel is right and wrong and keep showing them you love them.