I Need Help with a Short Tempered Hubby!

You are not going to be able to help him unless he wants help. He is expressing himself how he has learned to growing up and fortunately parenting techniques have changed 100 fold since he was a child. Why don't you check into getting both of you into a Love and Logic parenting class (so he has support and you know what he is learning) and see if that helps put some different spins on how he deals with the children. Unfortunately, they are not only upset by his actions-they are learning how to act from him and you really need to get this fixed now before you have much bigger behavioral problems (from them OR him).
Good luck and let us know how you fare.
C.

Hi J.,
I agree with Lacy, as stressful as it can be listening to a baby cry he is making it worse by acting like a child. Is it a wonder he cries more around him. At 9 months he should be able to play with his son and make him happier. Sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer. Hopefully things will get better.
Chris

I had this problem with my youngest. She would be happy go lucky for anyone but her daddy. Daddy would try and try but as any normal person he would get frustrated after a while. As we knew he was the trigger of her frustration we tried to have someone else sit with her and him while I was gone, and we did more & more as a family. After I quit breastfeeding she accepted daddy just fine. If you are breastfeeding your son could see his father as a threat to him. This is what my family therapist said was the reason for my daughters angst. As for helping the frustrated daddy, I took mine to counseling.

I think Matt is being ridiculous, and very unrealistic. Babies don't cry for no reason, they cry because they are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, tired, Wet/dirty, scared. If he can think of it in those terms that Tanner NEEDS something, that he NEEDS Daddy's help perhaps it will be better.

Our 2nd child had/has an awful cry too. Like a fire Siren (you know the ones that go off when there is a tornado warning!) Extremly loud and frustrating, but when we started really "listening" to him and meeting his needs the cries became more bearable

Hi J.~
Sorry, I never want to be downright rude, but dad needs to grow up!! Babies cry...its what they do! I realize it doesn't give you any help but I'm afraid this battle isn't yours to figure out. Dad needs to get his temper under control and remember who the parent is. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do except remind him that his children are watching him and that his juvenile tirades are making them cry more!
Good luck...seriously!
~L.

Hi J.,
I believe in any relationship you have to communicate. You cannot make him bond more or handle the situation better. Only he can do that. You can only give pointers. The rest is on him. If he acts like a child in front of the children, that's only going to make both of your jobs as parents even more difficult. I think you need to sit down with him and tell him how it bothers you and how it will eventually affect the childreen. That should be is main concern. The more you talk about it the better it will get if he's willing to change and recognize his wrong doings. I know it's easier said than done but everybody has to start somewhere. As you for taking time for yourself.... I don't think you'll be at ease to leave by yourself until he makes a conscious effort in his parenting skills. So talk with him and I believe that after doing so that will be the only thing to put you at ease and to make you feel more confident about him and the children when you leave. I hope I helped and good luck. N. K

My husband had a much easier time dealing with the cries of our first daughter who cried almost around the clock then he does with our second who is a great baby. He does the same thing, he gets overwhelmed. After talking to him, I just learned that he is extremely stressed from work and just wanted more time with me. Maybe your boyfriend is experiencing the same. Can you try to find some time for just the two of you and see if it helps the family as a whole?