I Need Help - Lemon Grove, CA

I am too lazy to read all of the responses but do you have a sling or pouch carrier? My daughter is the same way so I stick her in a pouch. I have the Rockin Baby Pouch which is expensive but worth it.

At this age, or for any baby... they "cry" out of survival, and they cry for: 1) discomfort (2) hunger (3) pain (4) gas (5) wanting comfort/soothing (6) teething (7) if their needs aren't met (8) wet/poopy diaper

I would NOT attribute his crying to being "stubborn." Heck no. At this age, he is just an infant. They cry.

Are you feeding him on demand? Is he getting enough intake? If a baby does not get enough intake, they are basically always starving.... and this can cause them to cry. This happened to a couple of friends of mine. Their babies were not getting enough intake, and they were always fussy and or not satisfied.

Check for gas too. Babies also cry if they are not rested, or not getting enough sleep, or enough naps....and they will also cry if they are over-stimulated. Over-tired babies/children are often fussy.

He is 3 months old... I would not let him cry for an hour. That is too long. In my opinion.

You need to really see what soothes him. My firstborn was a fussy baby as well... and what it was, is that she had gas problems and it caused pain. We gave her infant gas drops, which helped.

You need to consult your Pediatrician. I would not just attribute your baby's demeanor to being "stubborn" and letting him just cry. He probably needs comforting. Or, if you think he has 'colic' then you need to talk to your Pediatrician.

Are you breastfeeding or using formula? Sometimes, if nursing, what you eat can affect the baby as well, and cause gas or digestion problems in a baby. If giving formula... some brands don't agree with a baby while other brands do.

Bottom line is, you need to find out what is causing discomfort and or pain in your baby.

All the best,
Susan

Sweetie,

I am a single Mom too!! It is tough, trust me. How old is your little one? As letting crying babies, just cry at certain ages can be detremental to development. It could be a variety of things...gas, colic, hunger or he can feel your stress and wants comfort so you both feel better.

My son at two months old went through a crying phase, and it turned out to be gas. He would kick and cry and not let me put him down for anything! Thank God for my Mom, she recommended a different bottle and a couple of different burping techniques, and WOW was he a new kiddo.

If we could get more information, we could help better with good responses geared towards your issue.

***Okay, so I have to agree with the other Mom's...now knowing that your little one is only 3 months old, you should not let him cry for any length of time. It is too much for him to process. Being so young, he is crying for a reason...not just because he's trying to make your life difficult. He too little to know that's what he's doing wrong and make changes to his behavior...you have to teach him that when he's old enough.

Is he breastfed? Bottle? Is he napping during the day? What's your routine like? Do you go for walks or get out of the house at all?

My son was breastfed on demand, and when he got bigger is was more and more!! When we switched to bottles at five months old, is when the gas started. If you are meeting all HIS needs and he is still crying, then I would call your son's doctor and discuss the possibility of colic. I've seen colicy babies and it's not pretty, but your Pedi can offer help to ease both of your stress factors.

Even though it may be tough, if you have someone who can help you with your little boy, I would ask for it. When you get to the point where you think he's crying just to be stubborn you may need a break. As a single Mom, I understand that overwhelming feeling of 'doing it all' and sometimes you need a moment or two to catch your breath...

Good Luck!

hi A C How old is your baby? J. L.

3months old is too young to cry it out. Babies until about 4-5 mos old can't control their blood sugars. If he is crying all the time, he is depleting his blood sugars even more.

He could also be experiencing reflux, which can be painful at night for a baby. Any person really. talk to your pediatrician about getting a prescription for an anti reflux med for a baby.

Have you tried a bouncy chair that vibrates or a baby swing. Some babies like movement. My children slept in bouncy chairs and my niece slept in her swing for months.

Most little babies who are crying that much have gas/tummy issues. Please "overburp" your son. Burp and burp and then burp again. The more you get out though a burp the less that needs to work its way through his system. Also try rubbing his tummy to help work out any gas. This should help.
Hang on tight it will get easier.

If you can check put the Dunstan baby language video. It helps explain the cries babies have. It helped me a lot.
Good luck to you!

One of my children was this way. I couldn't stand hearing him cry for long, so I always was holding him. It drove me insane. After about of week of feeling crazy, I found that he liked an infant sling. I'd been deterred from using it because he would cry so terribly when I first put him in. However, I finally discovered that after walking with him for 10 minutes, the motion would make him settle. Then, I could go about whatever I was doing while he relaxed in the sling. When I sensed he was very relaxed, I could even sit down with him in it. My hands were free. When he'd fall into a good sleep, I'd very carefully transfer him to his crib. For us, the sling was a lifesaver. I'm not sure how old your son is, but if he's under 4 months, this is probably something that will get progressively better over the coming weeks. Good luck.

From when my son was 1 - 5 months he cried alot. Have you tried giving him gas drops? They were a life saver for me as my son had caulic AND was very gassy. Is he being breast fed or on formula? At 3 months my milk stopped coming in so I put him on soy formula to help reduce gas. it did seem to help however I kept up with the gas drops. I also found that a sling helped me. I could still get things done and he felt close and safe. They are so little that they feel helpless and want to be held close since they were all cozy in our bellies and thats all they know. If it gets too frustrating, ask for a family memeber or friend to help. My mom made the first 6 months of my son's life "barable" for me!

Hi AC:
Since you didn't elaborate on your infants age,I have to guess,that your a first time mother of a newborn infant.The most important thing for you to realize at this time,is that your not alone in your feelings of frustration,and your not the only mother,who was at a loss,as to what to do for your baby when he cries.What you do need to remember,is that your baby is totally dependant on you,to love,care and nurture him. He is tiny,and helpless and you are his protector. You are the only one he looks to for comfort.Babies have different cries,and its up to us mothers,to learn to regognize those different cries.If your observant,you'll learn quick,the difference between a cry because hes hungry,and one thats just sort of a whimper,because hes tired,and needs to be soothed a little to fall asleep.Until your son is able to speak,and tell you exactly what is wrong,the only way he has to communicate with you is through his cries.Its difficult,and takes alot of patience on the part of the mother,but this is a stage in their life,that they all go through,and as their mother,you need to provide them with all the loving care,and compassion you have to give. There is no such thing AC as a stuborn,or spoiled infant. He has no idea,what that is.He does have feelings however,and when he cries,he needs to feel secure,that his mother will answer those cries. There are cries for being hungry,for being wet and uncomfortable,cries for colic(a tummy ache)and then cries,just because he needs to feel close to his mother,and just wants to feel your arms wrapped around him.Regardless of what you may have been told, it is not appropriate to allow an infant,to cry for an hour unanswered or not checked on periodicaly.This only creates more frustration for you,and alot of distress for your son.Because your a single mother,it would be an advantage for you,to get the help of a relative,or a close friend you trust,to take the baby for a few hours a week,to give you a little break.We all need that from time to time, if just to catch our breath.I like the idea,the mothers had of getting him a swing,and seeing if that soothes him for some of those moments, he can't get comfortable, and you need to take a few minutes to gather yourself.Try to remember, that this is only one stage in your babies life. Soon, he will be able to talk to you,and there will be alot less crying and more communicating. Patience is a virtue.If you ever want to chat,or just unload,when you get totally frustrated,we're here. I wish you and your darlin son the best. J.

My son was the same way. He suffered from colic so gas drops helped. Our lifesaver was a battery operated swing. We realized he'd stop crying in his car seat when we would walk and gently swing it. We bought a swing that day and it was a relief for everyone. It was great with getting him to sleep (a big battle with him). I also used a front carrier which helped some, but the swing was best for him.

hi love,

Talk to him... like he is present ( because he is) explain how you just cant do it all of the time and you will always be there. then head down to the store and buy a baby cradle swing, NOT the kind that swings back and forth, but the kind that rocks side to side... place him in it well fed and burped... preferably by an open window or during the day outside...fresh air is always best for a long sleep and a healthy body. turn on the swing...walk away.. make a cup of tea, give it about five minutes.... and voila...sleeping baby :)

My daughter was that way for a bit. Colicky is what the grandma's said. There are several remedies for Colic, but check with your doc, before using them.

I'm a single mom and totally understand where you are! I was there.
Depending on age I'm assuming he's a little one under 2 yrs - - 15 minutes crying, 15 minutes soothing on and off. Don't pick him up just rub is back/hold his hand (not sure which way babies go to sleep these days) mine were on their stomach. Talk softly to him and then walk away. Come back in 15 and so on and so forth, after awhile the soft words, and gentle touch will be enough to put him to sleep.

It's important that he knows your there, but also equally important that you don't loose your sanity (or think your loosing it).
The swing idea is great they didn't have those 10 years ago.

The good news, this will pass and the two of you will survive. (My daughter is now 10 years - and we survived.) :)

hes probably getting gas in his belly from crying. try swaddling him (if he likes it), or a paci. are you trying to sleep train him? what i did with my daughter at that age (she started sleeping in her own room) was propping the bottle for her and laying her on her side. then in about an hour go in quietly and take the bottle out of her bed. do you have a good bedtime routine you follow religously every night? i do the same routine with my 18 month old every night since she was that age (with small changes here and there). try rocking him to sleep and then placing him in bed in a dark room. if he has good head control and is rolling try placing him on his belly to sleep maybe hes just not comfortable on his side. he may also still be hungry try nursing him or giving him a couple more ounces in a bottle. thiswill pass soon he may be hitting a growth spurt or even be at the beggining of teething (also try teething drops or tablets they do help calm a fussy baby). good luck!