I Need Help... - Walnut,CA

If it were me I would investigate sensory processing disorder as well as social anxiety disorder. You may want to look at selective mutism too.

You need to let go of the idea that it is something you are doing "wrong" or not doing at all. Sometimes children have issues that they can't deal with on their own and their annoying behaviors are ways to give us signals that they need our help.

Our children are growing up in a very toxic world and they are literally the "canaries in the coal mine" imho. It is not normal for children to be so anxious and "difficult" - I see it every where I go unfortunately.

Good luck to you and your little guy.

If I were you I would seek the help of a behavioral specialist. My son has very complex problems (we are working with 19 different medical dx so it is diffficult), but our specialist has been a god send, if she doesn't know the answer she knows where to get it.

How frustrating for you, both to be in the situation and then to try and get help and be put on a waiting list.

Without knowing specifics about how he behaves other than the emotions you see him display it's kind of hard to comment specifically. But I do know that you are right, you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells.

One thing that stuck out to me was that you said you have been dealing with his behavior for about for years and coincidentally you also have a 4 year old son.

The other thing that stuck out (and this may have just been the way you wrote your post, not necessarily how you actually talk to him) was that you said a couple times that you "ask him what's wrong" and he doesn't open up and your husband "talks to him and tells him he needs to make right choices".

My suggestion would be that you do less talking and more listening and see where it gets you. But, with kids, the key is that you can't do it in an intense setting, the "sit down and talk" method isn't generally going to work. So, as you are setting the table use empathy and see if you can get him to expand. For example, "You were really upset earlier when you were playing the game. That was frustrating wasn't it? I know I get upset sometimes when things don't go my way"
You may be surprised at what his response is, if he thinks you understand what he's going through.

The being angry at his brother thing is a hot button. He may be resentful and feel like he has lost you because of his brothers needs. He may talk softly because he "literally" doesn't think anyone listens to anything he says.

Try and see if from HIS perspective. Not the perspective you think he has or you want him to have or you would have if you were him.
I also think at 7 he should have some activites that are JUST HIS. Is he in tae kwon doe? Does he swim? Play soccer? Get him into an active sport where he can use some of his energy. It's also just for him, so he can feel special.

Also, write down specifics about what he does and what his triggers are - that will be helpful when you get into counseling.

*One additional note - if he's never been to a babysitter, does that mean you and your husband have never been on a date without the kids? You MUST fix that immediately!!!!!!!! Once a month - AT LEAST - find someone you trust, leave the kids and go spend time devoted to being husband and wife!!!!!!

Good luck!

For us things like this started happening in our children after getting their shots. We have looked into what makes up the shots we put into their little bodies. We were shocked and then we researched others dealing with the same things. We decided to stop shots and the children are doing better ever day. Their are counselors at your school that you can ask for your child to talk to so that other issues can be ruled out. I hope he finds help ans life gets easier.

I'm not sure what could be going on. But I have a 7 yo boy and he opens up better when we're DOING something else and "happen" to start talking. Girls WANT to talk O.-on-O., but I think boys usually don't. They prefer to open up a but WHILE they throwing a ball, fishing, riding bikes, whatever you guys do together....just a suggestion. Good luck!

There is definitely nothing worse than the feeling that you have gone wrong with raising your child. I have had similar feelings with my 6 yr old daughter. Over the last couple of years she has been acting out very similarly. Along with regular visits to the pediatrician, my family also goes to a chiropractor. Both of my children have seen one since they were a month old. Not every time, but when I start to notice a trend with her acting out I will make an appointment to take her in and have her checked. Several times she will get a little adjustment, and go back to acting like her normal crazy self.

I get headaches really bad when my neck is out of alignment and our chiropractor said it is the same with our daughter. That kids play hard and are very hard on their bodies and if something is out of place it can affect the way that they act.

There are times where she will get extremely mean and ugly with her little brother who is 2 1/2, and I will sit with her and put it back on her as to if someone was treating her that way how would that make her feel and does she really want to make some one else feel that way. I will also, when the rivalry is going full swing, make them hug each other and say nice things to each other until I see the mood change.

With our daughter, when she was younger, I would not force her to say hello or good bye to anyone even family members and eventually she came around on her own to do it. I am very stern and a little more forceful in the house as to how they are suppose to treat their siblings and parents. It also worked with my daughter to tell her that this(what ever the behavior was) is not acceptable and would have to go to her room by herself if it continued.